[rukspc]

Tonight (Saturday) is my boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law's gender reveal party for their baby, and we are all gathering at their parents' home about 30 minutes away. However, the weather forecast will be treacherous with heavy, hard snowfall and white-out conditions. From our place, it takes about half an hour, but with the road conditions, I worry that travel will be difficult and I don't want to risk an accident.

My boyfriend's brother is adamant on keeping plans the way they are. Originally, the party would be next weekend and it gave us enough time to plan what we would bring, safer travel conditions, etc.

Basically, I don't think it is wise to travel tonight, BUT I feel like if I bring this up with my boyfriend, he will get annoyed again. Are my feelings justified? I don't agree with his brother's decision to plan this small party, knowing well that there will be a snowstorm. It will be dangerous and their family doesn't change plans regardless of weather. How can I bring this up to my boyfriend without sparking some sort of disagreement?

I don’t see why he would get mad over you expressing concerns about everyone’s safety?

[CrystalGirlx]

Originally Posted by rukspc

Tonight (Saturday) is my boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law's gender reveal party for their baby, and we are all gathering at their parents' home about 30 minutes away. However, the weather forecast will be treacherous with heavy, hard snowfall and white-out conditions. From our place, it takes about half an hour, but with the road conditions, I worry that travel will be difficult and I don't want to risk an accident.

My boyfriend's brother is adamant on keeping plans the way they are. Originally, the party would be next weekend and it gave us enough time to plan what we would bring, safer travel conditions, etc.

Basically, I don't think it is wise to travel tonight, BUT I feel like if I bring this up with my boyfriend, he will get annoyed again. Are my feelings justified? I don't agree with his brother's decision to plan this small party, knowing well that there will be a snowstorm. It will be dangerous and their family doesn't change plans regardless of weather. How can I bring this up to my boyfriend without sparking some sort of disagreement?

I wouldn't drive in a snow storm to go to a gender reveal party. It is extremely inconsiderate of someone to try to plan a party knowing full well there is a pending snow storm. Is there a way for you to get there prior to snow fall and then leave the next day after it has arrived? I can't imagine other guests not having similar issues.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, rukspc I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I hope you'll try to follow it. Your concerns seem very valid to me. Snowstorms are very dangerous. Your feelings are absolutely justified. I completely agree with CrystalGirlx. Can you go there before the snowstorm arrives and leave when it's over? That seems like the best solution to me. Otherwise, I don't think it's safe to go. Just tell your boyfriend that you're concerned for everyone's safety and that you'd love to go, but it may be too dangerous. Hopefully he'll understand. If he still wants to go, you can decide not to follow him. Hopefully he'll understand you're serious about this. I don't think this is something worth risking your life over it. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. It must be hard to disagree even with your boyfriend. Is there anyone else that it's going to the party that agrees with you? Perhaps if several people are going to complain about this, your boyfriend's brother will change his mind. I hope you'll be able to convince them. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Good question. You concern is valid. I say safety first, if you don't feel like risking it then stay home. Your bf may or may not agree and choose to stay with your or go himself. That's his choice.

What about:
"Hey love, I know the party is important and I want to be there with you and your family but I'm not comfortable driving that far in the blizzard. I'm really worried we could get hurt. I'm going to stay home."

Something like that. Gently and respectfully indicates your needs. And doesn't critique him or his family. Doing that would likely trigger hurt or an argument so I recommend just keeping it simple and talking from your own perspective.

Good luck and stay warm!

[Bill3]

I think your annoyance is justified.

It sounds unsafe to go and therefore grossly inconsiderate to insist. But if they are going to insist anyways, it will be instructive to see whether your boyfriend prioritizes you and sticks up for you, or prioritizes them and leans on you.

Therefore I don’t think you should try to walk on eggshells with him, so as to avoid annoying him “again”. In my view you should state your feelings and intentions in a civil manner. It will be valuable to find out, and reflect on, what his priorities are in this situation.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by rukspc

Tonight (Saturday) is my boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law's gender reveal party for their baby, and we are all gathering at their parents' home about 30 minutes away. However, the weather forecast will be treacherous with heavy, hard snowfall and white-out conditions. From our place, it takes about half an hour, but with the road conditions, I worry that travel will be difficult and I don't want to risk an accident.

My boyfriend's brother is adamant on keeping plans the way they are. Originally, the party would be next weekend and it gave us enough time to plan what we would bring, safer travel conditions, etc.

Basically, I don't think it is wise to travel tonight, BUT I feel like if I bring this up with my boyfriend, he will get annoyed again. Are my feelings justified? I don't agree with his brother's decision to plan this small party, knowing well that there will be a snowstorm. It will be dangerous and their family doesn't change plans regardless of weather. How can I bring this up to my boyfriend without sparking some sort of disagreement?

justified because yes they are your feelings and concerns. This is a difference of perspective and while I agree and am not one that would go out for something trivial such as a party through a storm to get to it, this is something that needs to be communicated with the people insisting it goes on. If you're too afraid of being confronted with the opposition, you'll never be able to assert yourself. You have to make the decision yourself and stand by it tho. if he wants to still go, it's his decision (and keep in mind you can't force him not to) but he can go alone. this is the one and only way you'll be able to make it clear that you won't be pushed into doing what others want, at the very least when you think safety is in question.

[healingme4me]

Yes, your concerns are valid. I'd be concerned at risking alienating myself from the family especially for such a special moment in their lives. If you're living in a region where you were getting clobbered by snow over the weekend, I'd say that it sounds like winter conditions aren't unusual to begin with and people probably know how to handle their vehicles in it.
Did you make it safely there and back? Were you able to give the gift that you wanted? I noticed mention that if it were this coming weekend you'd been able to pick out a gift?

[divine1966]

How did it go? I think it’s all relative. My husband grew up in the rural area and cold climate so driving in Snow and ice is never a big deal for him. I freak out every time. Perhaps your boyfriend and the rest of the family don’t find driving in the snow to be anything unusual

[rukspc]

UPDATE: we ended up going to the party. We made some fruit punch and had a great time. In fact, right after I posted to here, he came up to me without me saying anything. He told me he wouldn't feel comfortable driving out of there were whiteout conditions, so he'd keep an eye on the forecast.

It didn't snow the entire time we were at the party until late when we were about to leave. It ended up being better than expected. And he was understanding and put our safety first without having to say anything. I felt relieved and thankful.