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#1
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I've been broken up with my ex for about 3 months now. It was an ugly breakup, and now we'll never speak again. Long story short, right after we broke up I started hooking up with a lot of guys. When I realized that that was only making me feel sadder, I deleted all my dating apps and pretty much cut myself off from sex.
Unfortunately, the loneliness and yearning to be in another man's arms is starting to manifest itself, and I'm afraid that re-entering the dating pool will just lead me down the same road as before. My question is, should I get back on the dating scene? And if I do, how can I do it without becoming a complete slut again? Any advice helps.
__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
![]() MickeyCheeky
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![]() MickeyCheeky
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#2
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If you have to ask, then probably not. You'll know when you're ready... just know that healing from breakups take time. Nothing is immediate <3 Allow yourself plenty of time to neutralize, then maybe you will be ready.
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![]() MickeyCheeky, TheNightWhistle
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![]() Betty_Banana, Medusax, MickeyCheeky, s4ndm4n2006, TheNightWhistle
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#3
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Take your time healing. I also think you might want to consider better quality dating scene
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![]() MickeyCheeky
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![]() MickeyCheeky, TheNightWhistle
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#4
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It's hard as a gay guy to find a quality dating scene because all of the websites and apps geared towards us are designed to help find the nearest and most available guy, at that moment. The guys I've picked up at bars are pretty similar to the ones I meet online too. I'm not really sure where to look to be honest.
__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
![]() MickeyCheeky
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![]() MickeyCheeky
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#5
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Surely there are some gay scenes organised around discussion, interests, activities, movie going, culture, travel - or you could start one. There are gay meetups, there used to be gay/bi co-counselling...
If you meet people through having a network of friends, that can support when relationships go through a rough patch? Good luck!
__________________
*"Fierce <-> Reality"* oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human! remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear! |
![]() MickeyCheeky
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![]() MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes, TheNightWhistle
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#6
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I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, TheNightWhistle
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#7
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Quote:
__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
#8
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Does casual sex help you get over your exes, or is it more of a release for you? Maybe do some soul searching as to why you think you need to constantly be in a sexual relationship? Are you running from anything? Does the idea of being single make you feel like a failure? Only you know the answer if you should get back into the dating scene to find a relationship. I'm a straight female, but I know lots of straight and gay people who can't handle being single b/c it forces them to spend time alone which for whatever reason makes them uncomfortable. I've been single for a decade, so I find it easier now than I did before, to sniff out the wrong types (not always successful, but am getting better at it now), so that I don't waste my time getting caught up in some kind of toxic connection with the wrong guy. |
![]() TheNightWhistle
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#9
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Thanks for the advice Blanche. Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers ![]()
__________________
"If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
#10
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Maybe just stop hooking up and let love happen. I know that sounds so hokey b/c I've been single for 10 years but that includes 5 years of online dating horror stories and 3 years of Meetups that resulted in weird dates but not love. Maybe for now, just stop hooking up with guys and hang out with your friends. You never know. Your friends may have single friends you could date. |
![]() TheNightWhistle
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![]() TheNightWhistle
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