Should I re-enter the dating pool?

I've been broken up with my ex for about 3 months now. It was an ugly breakup, and now we'll never speak again. Long story short, right after we broke up I started hooking up with a lot of guys. When I realized that that was only making me feel sadder, I deleted all my dating apps and pretty much cut myself off from sex.

Unfortunately, the loneliness and yearning to be in another man's arms is starting to manifest itself, and I'm afraid that re-entering the dating pool will just lead me down the same road as before.

My question is, should I get back on the dating scene? And if I do, how can I do it without becoming a complete slut again? Any advice helps.

If you have to ask, then probably not. You'll know when you're ready... just know that healing from breakups take time. Nothing is immediate <3 Allow yourself plenty of time to neutralize, then maybe you will be ready.

Take your time healing. I also think you might want to consider better quality dating scene

It's hard as a gay guy to find a quality dating scene because all of the websites and apps geared towards us are designed to help find the nearest and most available guy, at that moment. The guys I've picked up at bars are pretty similar to the ones I meet online too. I'm not really sure where to look to be honest.

Surely there are some gay scenes organised around discussion, interests, activities, movie going, culture, travel - or you could start one. There are gay meetups, there used to be gay/bi co-counselling...
If you meet people through having a network of friends, that can support when relationships go through a rough patch?

Good luck!

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, TheNightWhistle I understand what you mean. If you feel like you're still struggling perhaps it's not the best time to start looking for another relationship. I understand why you'd feel lonely though. I'd suggest to use this time to start woking on yourself! Often the loneliness comes from ourselves! I completely agree with what all the other people on this thread have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can and want! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! Please don't give up! Try to hang on! You're a strong, wonderful person! Please remember that! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, TheNightWhistle! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all, certainly not you! I hope things will get better soon for you! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! We're all here for you if you need it! Please remember that! I hope that writing here and talking to us will help you to make you feel a bit less lonely!

I have friends, and many of them are other gay guys. The guys who go to those types of meetup events that you're talking about tend to be a lot older, and I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Some people use rebound sex to get over their ex. It staves off the feelings of loneliness that comes with being single.

Does casual sex help you get over your exes, or is it more of a release for you? Maybe do some soul searching as to why you think you need to constantly be in a sexual relationship? Are you running from anything? Does the idea of being single make you feel like a failure?

Only you know the answer if you should get back into the dating scene to find a relationship. I'm a straight female, but I know lots of straight and gay people who can't handle being single b/c it forces them to spend time alone which for whatever reason makes them uncomfortable.

I've been single for a decade, so I find it easier now than I did before, to sniff out the wrong types (not always successful, but am getting better at it now), so that I don't waste my time getting caught up in some kind of toxic connection with the wrong guy.

It doesn't make me feel like a failure but I like being able to always have someone hilarious, beautiful, and loving that I can come home to at the end of the day. I have friends but I would like to experience that kind of connection in a romantic way with someone reliable, so I guess I was hopping from guy to guy hoping to find that. It wasn't working, so that's why I'm taking a break from that. Now I'm just kinda stuck because I want to keep looking for love but just don't know where to look.

Thanks for the advice Blanche. Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers

HA! Very Scarlett O'Hara of you, Gay-Rhett!

Maybe just stop hooking up and let love happen. I know that sounds so hokey b/c I've been single for 10 years but that includes 5 years of online dating horror stories and 3 years of Meetups that resulted in weird dates but not love.

Maybe for now, just stop hooking up with guys and hang out with your friends. You never know. Your friends may have single friends you could date.