I'm wondering if that might be where I'm more successful socially. It's a lonelier path but better than pissing people off when my illness at times makes being dependable a struggle. Any thoughts?

[sarahsweets]

It can be easier for you to deal with but you have to think if you would need someone like a close friend in bad times...

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Xeero Gusteaux II I completely agree with what both the wonderful lizabeth406 and sarahsweets have already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to them if you can and want! They always give such great, wonderful advice to many people! I completely agree with all of you that making acquintences is definitely easier than making friends. However I believe it's not the same thing like having a close true friend. I believe it's ok if you only need to talk to someone when you feel like it though! It depends on what you are looking for exactly! I'd suggest NOT to give up looking for friends! I know it's not easy, but I'm sure that you WILL be able to meet someone that will accept you and love you for who you TRULY are! Please don't give hope! Try to hang on and look for some friends as much as you can! That's just my opinion though! The final decision is up to you! Of course everyone here on PC will be here for you as well! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to vent and write as much as you need and want! You know we won't judge you! I promise you that! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you, Xeero Guesteaux II! Please don't give up hope! Things CAN and WILL get better! I promise you that! We all believe in you! You're a strong, wonderful person! Please remember that!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lizabeth406

Yes, it can be easier with acquaintances because you can have some social interaction without the deep investment. I hope that came out right. Personally speaking I've formed very few friendships in the classic sense and a lot has to do with trust and the reasons you mentioned. I know a true friend would be understanding of the issues, of knowing there are times you need space, but getting to that point in a relationship can be difficult.

This is much like what I wanted to say. Trust can be an issue...

Hugs to all

Originally Posted by Xeero Gusteaux II

I'm wondering if that might be where I'm more successful socially. It's a lonelier path but better than pissing people off when my illness at times makes being dependable a struggle. Any thoughts?

I think it's easier because you are able to keep boundaries as acquaintances. However, you should have at least 2 to 3 close friends.

I have decided it’s easier. I have decided it’s not a bad thing either. I come here to talk about what’s on my heart and mind. I talk openly to just a few people IRL. Any friendships I develop now are pretty “superficial” and I agree that there is much less drama this way.

[sarahsweets]

Part of the tough part about friends is being vunerable. That is scary. Especially if you have been burned by a mean person in the past. Unfortunately I think we all have and not all of us are ready to go down that road again because it hurt so much. But when friendship works it can be amazingly rewarding. But its risky like most things.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Xeero Gusteaux II

I'm wondering if that might be where I'm more successful socially. It's a lonelier path but better than pissing people off when my illness at times makes being dependable a struggle. Any thoughts?

it can be easier, but is easier the goal you have in life or to have one of fulfilling and valueable interactions and activities? Because with acquaintances, as I see it, you only have a surface level connection that nevr really gets deep and that's never as satisfying as having someone to really confide in, support you and have a really deep connection.

While it might be true that it's ok for you, only you can say. I personally would rather have at least a couple close friends to rely on and connect with than many acquaintances I can take or leave from day to day.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

I have decided it’s easier. I have decided it’s not a bad thing either. I come here to talk about what’s on my heart and mind. I talk openly to just a few people IRL. Any friendships I develop now are pretty “superficial” and I agree that there is much less drama this way.

It's neither good nor bad really, it's a personal decision. Depends on what is more important to you - less drama or more deep and meaningful connections. With deeper relationships that are meaningful, you always risk drama but for the people that want that, many times the deep connections are worth the occasional drama.

[eskielover]

Having moved to a location at 54 where I knew absolutely NO ONE it has been interesting to observe how some people I have met have become close friends while others have stayed acquaintances.

I never had friends where I lived before but many acquaintances. My EX-H was not social & had no idea how to connect with people. I was focused on my education & career. I enjoyed being around the people in my life but real friendships were nothing I had ever experiences in my parents life or in my own marriage. I always wondered if there was more to relationships than the surface level I always experienced from observing what others had but thought at the time it was just my imagination & they had nothing more than I did.

Since moving here & being able to experience relationships on my own without external forces of parents or H I have found that I do & am capable & enjoy connecting with people at a friendship level while I also am ok with those who are at the acquaintance level. Both are good. Friendships sometimes take more work with contact though I have close friends locally & those friendships just happen naturally. I ho estly had no idea if I could even connect to anyone at a deeper level when I moved here after my life experiences. It is nice to have both but not necessary.....depends on what each person wants

[TishaBuv]

You can’t help but have acquaintances. They are people who know who you are, say hello when you meet, but don’t do anything with. They don’t know much of anything about you beyond the basics that are obvious to all.

I have two friends now, having eliminated the other one who was toxic. I never had any issues with either one of these nice friends. I have confided in them my traumatic issue, but I’m careful to not overwhelm them with my problems. This is also a give and take where I ask and listen to them about their stuff as well. But mostly when we talk or get together we just have a good time. That’s the glue that keeps a friendship.

You have to make as much effort as they do. Call fairly often and care about them and if they are a good friend it will be mutual.

It feels wonderful to have at least one nice friend. Every day is another opportunity to make one. Just find something in common.