[Rive1976]

I never know what is normal or creepy when it comes to my father. Only that things feel creepy. So I am visiting my father this weekend like I do most of the time. He is living to go gamble and I do not wish to be a part of it. So he asked if I was mad because last time I got pissed because he lives paycheck to paycheck and only gets made once a month and its very little but yet he goes gambling and expects people to feel bad he doesnt have any groceries. Anyway so I am cooking some spaghetti and he gets a drink out of the fridge then says are you mad and I said no and he kissed my neck. My not just kiss my head or hug me. He is freaky. If I told my mom she would freak and tell me to call my therapist.

[Xynesthesia2]

That would definitely be creepy for me and I would tell him straight away.

[chihirochild]

^agreed :/

[missbella]

I wouldn't want anyone kissing my neck outside of a romantic context.

I know it can be difficult to draw boundaries with a parent who won't respect them; I got nowhere with mine. If he won't respect "no" or the conversation is impossible, I hope there's someone to help or intervene.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I never know what is normal or creepy when it comes to my father. Only that things feel creepy. So I am visiting my father this weekend like I do most of the time. He is living to go gamble and I do not wish to be a part of it. So he asked if I was mad because last time I got pissed because he lives paycheck to paycheck and only gets made once a month and its very little but yet he goes gambling and expects people to feel bad he doesnt have any groceries. Anyway so I am cooking some spaghetti and he gets a drink out of the fridge then says are you mad and I said no and he kissed my neck. My not just kiss my head or hug me. He is freaky. If I told my mom she would freak and tell me to call my therapist.

From a husband/boyfriend I'd see it as okay, but this is not okay from a father.

[Iloivar]

If you'd like to share, what else does he do that makes you uncomfortable? Does it feel deliberate on his part? Or perhaps he's unintentionally creepy.

If you want, you can let him know when he does something that makes you uncomfortable. His reaction and whether he oversteps your boundaries despite you asserting them could give you insight into his character. If he continues afterwards, perhaps its something you can with confide your mom about.

doesn't really matter what people here say (but I understand why you are asking)

DID IT FEEL CREEPY TO YOU?
DID IT FEEL OUT OF PLACE?
THEN IT WAS OUT OF PLACE AND NOT NORMAL. TRUST YOUR GUT. ALWAYS.

[Open Eyes]

Your father has a gambling addiction and everyone around him are choosing to ignore it. There is a term for this too, it's called "enablers". If you did see a therapist this is what you would learn and that yes what you are experiencing is creepy/unhealthy and no one is willing to say anything either. Your father needs to recognize HE has a problem and decide to fix it.

Have you told your father not to kiss your neck? If you feel uncomfortable, then yes it is a problem. Because you have a right to feel safe and comfortable regardless of what others' intentions may or may not be.

First, you can tell the individual (father or anyone else who crosses a line) it's not okay.

Second, remind/mark the boundary one more time if necessary.

Third, if they continue to cross the line I would no longer spend time with them because they appear unwilling to respect your clearly marked boundaries.

My above three steps would not apply to criminal acts...those need to be reported to the police and safe distance is the immediate priority.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Have you told your father not to kiss your neck? If you feel uncomfortable, then yes it is a problem. Because you have a right to feel safe and comfortable regardless of what others' intentions may or may not be.

First, you can tell the individual (father or anyone else who crosses a line) it's not okay.

Second, remind/mark the boundary one more time if necessary.

Third, if they continue to cross the line I would no longer spend time with them because they appear unwilling to respect your clearly marked boundaries.

My above three steps would not apply to criminal acts...those need to be reported to the police and safe distance is the immediate priority.

Even though it creeps me out I have not said anything to him about the stuff he does. 1) because I dont think he thinks its creepy so I dont want to hurt him because I love him 2) because I dont want to piss him off because I am scared it would turn violent. I know he was sexually violent with my mother and also just because I dont want him mad at me. I live in a group home that has 90 people there. Alot of them have major issues. I like to get away as much as I can.