The fundamental problem I have with people

Pride? You have me confused with someone else - I cannot afford pride.

I must disagree with your sentiment that interactions with individuals do not always follow totally predictable patterns. No matter how I change things up, people behave the same - and it's no surprise, considering how much of human behavior encourages conformity and discourages difference and dissent.

Why do you think logical behavior is impossible? And what situations would not demand logical solutions? For me, if it is not logical, it cannot be a solution.


If you don't make sharp moral distinctions, then how can you call them morals? If your morals aren't sharp and firm, they're only guidelines - which can then be changed at a moment's notice. How can I trust anyone who could change their morals and stab me in the back at any future neuron twitch?

I think that having not such a strong and exclusive formulation of moral values actually prevents me from changing them and stab people in their backs. Often, people also stick to their morals and change their perception in order to stab you. For example, that happened to me, like with the Jews in the third Reich, I was first stripped of my humanity, then neatly disposed of. I think this is also not an unknown experience to you. My opinion is, morals have seldom prevented people from acting immorally. Is that logical? I don't know...

You speak as if you're deliberately trying to look at things incorrectly; like you trying to force your point of view to be skewed and incorrect. I can't help you at this point, and even if you're doing it by accident, your grievously incorrect view is toxic to me.

I'm sorry, that was not intended. I think my formulations tend to be misunderstood. There is something in my reasoning that makes it very often perceived as toxic or abrasive, when actually it was meant to be supportive. No way I meant to try and confound you with skewed perspectives.

Actually I maintain we have certain experiences in common, although mine could look trivial in comparison to yours. Just the tendency of what's going on is similar.

All my life I had that problem until I just stopped telling people things. "Why didn't you say something??" "Would you have listened? NO..........."

Yes, this easily happens when one stops telling people. Contrary to what is often maintained, it doesn't actually make things better. I'd still think there are maybe very interesting linguistic (and emotional) problems involved in maybe changing the h o w of telling people - and even the w h a t.

Medusax: What problem did you have that was solved by not "telling people things"? And how did you stop them from beating it out of you?

I have that problem with people too! We are not alone. I have been observing the people, and so far I have some advice (when the people are not in your favour) :
Less is more. The more you say the less credible and more desperate it can sound. Sometimes I want to give details, but it's the lack of detail that sparks their curiosity to find out more.
Don't try to convince anyone. If they don't believe you then don't waste your time on their gain. It's so hard when someone can think something about you that's so untrue, but they can think what they want! Your silent confidence will soon prove endearing and you can go from preaching to leading.
Also a lot of people like to think they have the answers to everything, even when they don't and no one is asking. Humans want to understand so after a while they stop trying to add to their data and they just start labelling. Consider this as something to do with them and not to do with you so don't take it personally.
I also recommend (a good) counsellor. Or I've heard how to win friends and influence people is a good book for emotional intelligence. But mainly focus on yourself being the source of your happiness and typically when you don't need anyone else, that's when they want to be around you, because a lot of people are sheep to fit in and feel valid, and some just can't see past face value. How they are is their business, focus on bossing yourself

Also consider, and I say this from a place of similar circumstance, that potentially something you're doing is inviting this kind of response from people. Obviously not on purpose. But we spend a lot of time watching others, do we even really understand ourselves? Can you identify your personal triggers that put you into a spiral. Also I think disagreeing with people, there's an art to it. Maybe it can be swayed more to a discussion or a sharing of opinions as oppose to competing for the winning answer. Respect people's opinions even when you don't agree, you can say you see it differently in a polite way, but take that as an opportunity to understand another point of view or just simply accept it. Consider that over time facts can change, and people can change their mind on things

Also in regards to notes with Medusax, I agree don't talk to them and tell them problems. By talking to most people unfortunately the way they respond can make the problems worse. So pick and choose wisely who you chose to confide in, when you chose to speak to them and how you put it across. Have in mind if you want their advice, or if you want to talk and let off steam. Most people automatically offer advice and struggle to do otherwise

Anniken, you are not understanding the context I'm in.


I don't talk to people at all. People attack me before I even say a word. Anything I volunteer will be used against me - it always has anytime I have been tricked into speaking.















I've been to entire collaborative groups of psychotherapists - and they said that my Complex PTSD was treatment-resistant. There won't be any viable treatment invented in my lifetime. Especially considering my primary problem is social, not psychological. No amount of treatment on me will stop others from harming me.


Only if one is completely amoral. Anyone who actually cares about other people and is trying to act in good faith throw that book away when they're done with it. At best, it's only good for spotting bad-faith actors - so it's not entirely a waste.





My therapists have guaranteed me that I am not - in fact, a year of therapy was dedicated precisely to disabuse me of that delusion.







I don't "trigger" like most PTSD sufferers do - that's probably why my diagnosis eluded me for so long. Either I do not get "triggered" or I am permanently in a "triggered" state - there is no change from one state to another.



Indulging in people's delusions is toxic to both them and you. "Respecting" their delusions only indulges them and drives them further into the delusion. The only way to pull someone out of their delusion is with all your might.



I have never witnessed a person change their mind on anything. People would literally rather die than change their minds - that I've witnessed first-hand.


I am trying to extract information from hostile people who have materially contributed to my abuse. Their efforts to "make the problems worse" are obvious and assumed. I am choosing my targets as carefully as I can, but I'm running out of time. I do not "confide" in anyone; I do what it takes to get the information I need. Again, this is a warzone, any every person is either hostile to my continued existence or a target of those hostile people.

The I Ching sometimes gives a hexagram which says something like "you are in trouble, but people will not believe you". So this seems to be an age-old situation you are in, TheUrOther. So I want to say once more that I am very saddened that you perceived my words as toxic. I perhaps disagree with you on some points concerning logic, but otherwise I'm quite with you.

For the record, the reason I "pick apart" everything told to me is because I'm in the middle of a war and the people fighting against me are going to "pick apart" anything I use far worse than I do to your arguments. If your arguments won't hold up to my challenges, then they sure as heck won't hold up to battle. I can't have them fall apart on me mid-fight; everything I bring into the fray must be flawless.