It seems to be happening again

I have been having to do this as well so I don't have another breakdown. I have learned a lot about setting boundaries during the past year. Though I know it is necessary for my sanity, I feel guilty about not doing more for people I set the boundaries with. It is easy to walk away from people who you have no (or less intense) emotional ties with but so hard to do when it involves people we really love. Love is so strange because the people I love most are the ones who can hurt me the most--even when they are very good people who care about me.

I have the same pattern. It's better now than it used to be, but I still find myself slipping into that listener role. Part of it is that I don't like to talk about myself which leaves a vacuum someone has to fill, I guess. Do you notice that at all?

Yes I do. I’m very private and I’m pretty quiet. That does create a space for another person to fill and then I’m frustrated later at the crowding of my space. So maybe we like that quiet empty space and taking time away from people here and there can help us to get that space back.

In the past year I've become quite close to someone who also enjoys that empty space and it's been fun. We meet up to volunteer but work at our tasks individually with a break or two for chatting. I feel like I don't encounter a lot of people like this, probably because we're all busy doing stuff on our own

Yes, I like that phrase "empty space". It's how I recharge after being social. Important to make time for it.