In a happy relationship - but with anxiety

I’ve been in a relationship with my first girlfriend for almost three months (I’m bisexual). We met in college through the same group of friends and near the end of the semester I admitted to having feelings for her (after she had a crush on me for a while) and we started our romance. It was truly wonderful - I was very happy and we were spending every day together since we lived nearby and had the same classes. We fell in love. Then once the semester ended and she graduated (I still have one more year), I moved back home with my parents. We were both sad for the beginning of long distance but we were confident about making it work. I was able to see her a few days after moving out of my college town, and when I went back home she wanted me to come up again but my parents were upset with me driving so much and she wasn’t able to drive down that weekend to see me. This was our first snag, since she was upset I wasn’t able to come up and my parents were now upset with me too. This was the beginning of anxiety I felt because I felt like the people I loved were upset with me. This started to pass eventually, but feelings of anxiety still lingered even though the relationship progressed smoothly. We didn’t fight much and we have really open communication and understanding of each other. It’s been about two months since then, and I’ve been able to drive up and see her about once a week, staying at her new place for a couple days before coming back home. There are times when the anxiety has ceased and I feel good and happy with her and in love, and other times when it’s triggered so badly I can’t eat. (I’ve even thrown up once, but not when I was with her). I believe I have commitment issues since I’ve never been in a long term relationship, my first one ever ended with me in heartbreak after a month. There’s nothing wrong with the relationship at all - but I just see her face in my mind sometimes and that’s enough to trigger something. I’ve met her family and she’s met mine and both those instances I’ve felt incredibly anxious too. So I believe that commitment phobia is manifesting since our relationship is deepening and becoming more real. I’ve discussed this with her and she’s been incredibly understanding and supportive, so I’m just looking for a way to resolve the anxiety I’ve felt.

I don’t want to break up with her, at least not now or anytime soon. We’ve discussed marriage way in the future and being together and that is what I want too. But the anxiety gets so bad sometimes I’ve thought about running away from this, but I know I’ll regret it after and I would want her back and that’s not fair to her. And yes she knows about everything that I’ve been feeling.

I just want this anxiety to see itself out so I can be happy and in love in my relationship again.

Have you had anxiety problems in other aspects of your life? Or just with her?

Hello oftheworld: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. You may also want to take a look at the anxiety forum as well as the coping with emotions forum:

https://psychcentralforums.com/anxie...c-and-phobias/

https://psychcentralforums.com/coping-with-emotions/

Here are links to 8 articles, from Psych Central's archives, 4 on the subject of commitment phobia as well as 4 on coping with anxiety:

What is Commitment Phobia & Relationship Anxiety?

How To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment

Beat Commitment Phobia by Being True to Yourself

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...s-and-reality/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-...ere-right-now/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-smal...iety-symptoms/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-...s-for-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/relaxa...ent-tried-yet/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Yes, I have dealt with anxiety before. While I’m not diagnosed, I believe I have situational anxiety. My girlfriend has generalized anxiety so I don’t know if I tap into her energy sometimes, but regardless she’s been very understanding and it makes communication easier. The difference is she is medicated and I am not.
An example of another time when my anxiety was this bad was when I was dumped in my first relationship, and other relationships never working out past one month.

Thank you! Those articles have been very helpful and make me feel better and more at ease about my situation.