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Old Jul 29, 2019, 01:06 PM
TKE541 TKE541 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 3
My relationship is eroding.

My wife and mother have not gotten along for months now, and my mother has tried to move past it, and my wife is steadfast in that she cannot.

Rewind when it escalated. My wife had gotten snappy toward my mom, and that was kinda the end of it, so I thought. A few weeks later my mom said some choice words toward my wife, and she rightfully felt disrespected.

8 months later(today) my wife is still unwilling to show me much or any affection so I confronted her about it.

Her response was that she does not feel like I will protect her against verbal attacks from anyone(nothing has happened since), and the fact that I still speak to my mother disgusts her... We rarely have any intimacy, sexual or otherwise, and if I bring this up she tells me to just suck it up or cut my mom out of my life.

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  #2  
Old Jul 29, 2019, 10:58 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Do you know exactly what happened between them ??

It sadly is common that situations like this happen.

Your in the middle trying to make both happy. But 8 months and your wife has shut you out completely ?

Have you offered to go to couples counseling to work through this problem?
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  #3  
Old Jul 30, 2019, 09:13 AM
TKE541 TKE541 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: West Virginia
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The short end is that they are both strong willed to a fault almost.. my mother was dealing wtih some other mental health stuff, and snapped some pretty choice words, however she has tried to move past it etc.. Since then nothing has come of it, other than my wife has become more and more distant.. She openly admits that is the primary reason she is keeping me at a distance.. She said the only solution she really sees is for me to completely cut my mom out of my life, which I do not see as a solution. While I dont think she should have said the things she did, it was not bad enough to cut her out,l since she has made a real effort to change her behavior
  #4  
Old Jul 30, 2019, 04:37 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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I have a neighbor, his mother and wife got into a spat a decade or more ago she laid the law down and tried to make him cut all ties to his mom.. and refuses to allow his mom to visit and step one foot in her home , which if I were her husband I would have stopped it right there, after all it’s his home too. He made many trips a year to see his mom she lives 3 states away, and they talked daily on the phone. She passed a few months ago. He’s so grateful he refused his wife’s demand and has no regrets.

Regardless of what your mom said your wife that has no right to demand you cut all ties , Oh. Hell. No.

She can easily stay away from your mom , please do keep your relationship with your mom intact, one day she won’t be here.

Honestly I think you wife should see a Therapist to work herself out. She’s punishing you and that’s abuse plain and simple.

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Thanks for this!
lizardlady
  #5  
Old Jul 31, 2019, 07:41 AM
TKE541 TKE541 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: West Virginia
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that is what it is starting to feel like more and more.. She won't take any blame for their argument, just that she feels like I should do more to protect her.. Reality they were both in the wrong.. My mom has admitted that she made a mistake, and has tried to move past it..

The other part of it is, I do feel like she is punishing me.. She actually told me when we had this discussion that more often than not she has no desire to be around me, and that is why she plays a game on her phone almost fulltime when I am home.

On the flip side of not wanting to be around me, she guilts me anytime I want to do something without her, that involves my friends.

It seems like no matter what I do it is not quite right.

I am at the point that I really dont know what to do anymore
Hugs from:
lizardlady
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