[KMO31]

I just wanted everyone's opinion on this "relationship/friendship".

Summary:

I met a woman through a work friend and we hit it off from the day we started talking. I decided once I went home I'd add her, and risk looking like a stalker. We actually began getting really close and eventually we speak every day. She has an ex that she lives with, because they have children but he has someone else. They own the house together so they just decide to coexist, which I respect.

We first met on a park bench, had a chat and I walked her home. Hugged her in front of her ex to test whether he had feelings, and because I liked her. She then invited me over her place whilst he was working, stayed there for hours, helped her cook dinner, was playing with the kids. She told me that she's never seen the kids take to someone as quick, it was almost as soon as she open the door.

She's been sending tons of hearts, kisses, and appearing really affectionate in messages. She told me that I didn't need to go home so early, but I didn't want to invade during dinner time.

We've agreed to go and get lunch, she's excited for it and recently she's been facetiming me with the kids since apparently they keep asking about me.

I'm confused really. We've not really approached the "what is this" reaction, maybe we were just old enough to not need to. Are we dating? Is this romance? What happens when the kids become so attratched that I have to become a figure in their lives (I'll never replace their dad, I know.)

I'm just so confused.

[sarahsweets]

How do you feel about the relationship?

[KMO31]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

How do you feel about the relationship?

Confused. I'm not sure if I'm just a friend or a relationship worth.

[MickeyCheeky]

Perhaps you can ask her how does she see your relationship with her and what she pland to do for the future if you're having ANY doubts about it? Hopefully she'll be able to clarify ANYTHING and to help!

[divine1966]

I’d not be in a relationship with someone who lives with their spouse/partner (she can call him ex but what makes him ex? Not having sex? Ton of people are a couple but don’t have sex).

I’d demand she officially ends it by not cohabitating,, has a divorce decree and custody court order and is fully single.

No I’d not be FaceTiming with her kids either, sure they are asking. Kids always ask who is this and who is that.

Her inviting you over when “ex” (I use that term loosely here) is at work is fishy to me

None of it sounds like relationship material at all.

[KMO31]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I’d not be in a relationship with someone who lives with their spouse/partner (she can call him ex but what makes him ex? Not having sex? Ton of people are a couple but don’t have sex).

I’d demand she officially ends it by not cohabitating,, has a divorce decree and custody court order and is fully single.

No I’d not be FaceTiming with her kids either, sure they are asking. Kids always ask who is this and who is that.

Her inviting you over when “ex” (I use that term loosely here) is at work is fishy to me

None of it sounds like relationship material at all.

That's fine and all, but it isn't ways as easy as just filing for divorce and moving out. It requires a lot. They'd have to arrange housing shares, she's not married, and they have kids. You can't just simply walk away. I cannot just also ignore her and the kids, when the children become attached then it's harder. Her ex knows about me, we've been somewhat intimate with each other in his company, he has a girlfriend. I understand your red flags, but sometimes it just isn't as easy as it is to write.

[~Christina]

How about trying not to fling a label on it this soon ??? Your enjoying each other’s company is all. Could end tomorrow or last a life time.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by KMO31

That's fine and all, but it isn't ways as easy as just filing for divorce and moving out. It requires a lot. They'd have to arrange housing shares, she's not married, and they have kids. You can't just simply walk away. I cannot just also ignore her and the kids, when the children become attached then it's harder. Her ex knows about me, we've been somewhat intimate with each other in his company, he has a girlfriend. I understand your red flags, but sometimes it just isn't as easy as it is to write.

Oh I understand that. I am married second time and both I and my husband went through divorces. I know it’s not a picnic.

I just personally think that getting into relationships with people who still live with their exes (if they truly are exes) is not a good idea.

I am not sure what you mean by not being able to ignore her or the kids. It’s not a requirement to face time with anyone’s kids especially this early on in
a relationship. You’ve met them once?

It’s much better for children to not get attached that early on and it’s not very responsible of a mother to cultivate her kids getting attached that fast.

Normally people date someone for awhile before they even introduce them to their kids. It’s a responsible thing to do. If it’s not going to be a serious relationship no need to get kids involved already. Second time she met you she invited you over to meet the kids and now you have to face time with them? What’s the rush? Why is she speeding things up? That wouldn’t work for me. Red flag. Not healthy.

You can be friend with her if you can’t ignore her for some reason. You aren’t required to be romantic with her though especially that quick.

You asked opinions and that’s what I think. You certainly can do what you think is right.

[Bill3]

I agree with MickeyCheeky. Only a discussion with her can clarify where you stand with her.

[~Christina]

When I was dating I think the earliest I ever introduced someone to my daughter was at least 3 months in...

I had a girlfriend that had every man she went out with meeting her kids with in a couple weeks, kids don’t need to see a revolving door of dates male or female, just my opinion of course.

Many guys wanted to meet my daughter , some almost insisting , which just caused me to end it right then.

Some were upset that I was limited in seeing them, but my daughter did go to her Dads regularly sure, but I also wanted to see my friends and sometimes I just had to have a day to myself. I had a very demanding job, I needed that time alone.