[NeedHelp104]

Yes, you read the title - that's me.
Everyday I have a 'smile' on my face---but I am clinically and severely depressed. I don't fit in anywhere. I am very lonely. I am in my early 20's, and I have never been on a date, partied, went out with friends in my entire life. I was at a party today and only went because my cousin's band was performing,, and there were a bunch of young people my age---all attractive, having fun. Even the bartenders could be models. I am not particularly attractive and I know that but I can't help but feel resentful and anger towards those attractive people I see smiling, having a good time. I am thinking, "See those guys over there? They never knew what it's like to be depressed." And there I am, sitting by myself.

I have very bad anhedonia. It's hard to like many things, and when I do I lose it. It's the most frustrating part of my depression.

Just needed to vent. I get really bad social anxiety in situations like this because I was rejected a lot when I was younger and throughout school, so I am not confident at all :/

[Mendingmysoul]

Fake it until you make it.My friend carry that smile though fake,one day you may smile for real.I know how you feel.

[mwake]

Sending you big hug, let your personality be the reason people want to hang out with you rather than your looks. Sure some people are attractive and can make friends easier because of that but in the end it's the passions and interests that really make people interesting. What are your interests and passions? Try to use that when making conversations with people. But I know what you mean regarding parties they can be intense and overwhelming especially when you feel depressed.

[Open Eyes]

Honestly, good looks don't last and if a person bases their value only on their good looks when they begin to age and lose their good looks they can experience a horrible breakdown and become very depressed.