[NeedHelp104]

So, I am enrolled in a competitive program. To put it blunt: the program I am in has near-to-no jobs, so first impressions are important.

The site I was working at for school, I had issues with. A classmate knew I had trouble with many people there, and I wanted to handle things constructively and independently. What does she do? She approaches my program director and tells her all of the issues I have had when I specifically did not want my director knowing. To add insult to injury, she even requested to be present in a private meeting between myself and my director discussing my evaluations. Furthermore, she even confided in my that semesters ago she told my director about a conflict we had, and was telling her that my personality will clash with the people at the site I am at and that she 'foreshadowed' all of these series of events. I am like are you kidding me? You have no right to be doing that. You should have approached me first, and I handle it, not you. I like to be independent, and not get higher-ups involved in petty conflicts. It's part of life, and I feel as though my 'friend' hurt my chances and I was caught off guard. She also notified my director of comments I had about the people I am working with, which I was not appreciative at all! I was so mad! Would any of you be upset as well???

[sarahsweets]

If this is school can you complain to the department chair?

[TishaBuv]

I would feel upset about it. I wonder what was your “friend’s” motivation? She definitely undermined you and made you look bad. Maybe she just wanted to feel important? She was completely out of line for butting in and IMHO not a friend.

But there’s a lesson to be learned here, that I have learned the hard way, and still struggle with. When you said those things you gave her the ammunition to use against you. Sadly, we really can’t confide in friends information that can hurt us because— see what happened?

I hope you will get that job and succeed in spite of this. I’m not sure what kind of, if any, damage control you should attempt. Hopefully, you are so outstanding at what you do that you will prevail.

[winter4me]

Not knowing the type of class/program structure it is hard to comment. But, I would think you have a right to NOT have someone sit in on a meeting with a director. I would let the "friend" know you feel that the behavior was intrusive.
And I would talk privately with the director to discuss this----let that person get to know you a bit better re: what your goals are, how you like to work etc.
Whatever happens do not be afraid to follow your own path---especially if your job/s depend on creativity. Hang in there.
My rule for myself is that if I tell someone something, what they do with it is their business, I hate to ask others to keep what I say to themselves but sometimes that is the right thing to do (or have someone who is not in the program you can feel comfortable using as a sounding board...) Best Of Luck and Work to you.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

So, I am enrolled in a competitive program. To put it blunt: the program I am in has near-to-no jobs, so first impressions are important.

The site I was working at for school, I had issues with. A classmate knew I had trouble with many people there, and I wanted to handle things constructively and independently. What does she do? She approaches my program director and tells her all of the issues I have had when I specifically did not want my director knowing. To add insult to injury, she even requested to be present in a private meeting between myself and my director discussing my evaluations. Furthermore, she even confided in my that semesters ago she told my director about a conflict we had, and was telling her that my personality will clash with the people at the site I am at and that she 'foreshadowed' all of these series of events. I am like are you kidding me? You have no right to be doing that. You should have approached me first, and I handle it, not you. I like to be independent, and not get higher-ups involved in petty conflicts. It's part of life, and I feel as though my 'friend' hurt my chances and I was caught off guard. She also notified my director of comments I had about the people I am working with, which I was not appreciative at all! I was so mad! Would any of you be upset as well???

I would be upset enough to stop actually calling this person a friend, or at the very least never speak of anything related to sensitive matters near or with them ever again. They are a busybody that thinks your business is theirs and somehow thinks it's in their right to handle what they deem is YOUR problems.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

So, I am enrolled in a competitive program. To put it blunt: the program I am in has near-to-no jobs, so first impressions are important.

The site I was working at for school, I had issues with. A classmate knew I had trouble with many people there, and I wanted to handle things constructively and independently. What does she do? She approaches my program director and tells her all of the issues I have had when I specifically did not want my director knowing. To add insult to injury, she even requested to be present in a private meeting between myself and my director discussing my evaluations. Furthermore, she even confided in my that semesters ago she told my director about a conflict we had, and was telling her that my personality will clash with the people at the site I am at and that she 'foreshadowed' all of these series of events. I am like are you kidding me? You have no right to be doing that. You should have approached me first, and I handle it, not you. I like to be independent, and not get higher-ups involved in petty conflicts. It's part of life, and I feel as though my 'friend' hurt my chances and I was caught off guard. She also notified my director of comments I had about the people I am working with, which I was not appreciative at all! I was so mad! Would any of you be upset as well???

Absolutely I would be upser! I would start gathering evidence against her! It is a possibility that she may have thought she was helping you out or she could be a snitch. Had other had problems with her?