I'm not sure whether to post in Coping with Emotions or here.

Basically "nighttime me" gets lonely. Very. Like nightly. And wanting sex, closeness, etc. Sometimes I sign up for dating sites. But I'm not on them long. Daytime comes and I really really feel like dating online is so stupid, I haven't met anyone worthy or worth it. Even the ppl I just talk to. So lame. I feel so yucky I delete my whole profile. It feels like the right decision. Then night comes n I get lonely again.

What else can I do for nighttime loneliness / horniness? I know the obvious idea. And I do. I'm also compiling a list of other ideas.

I think some of this, is me feeling sorry for myself. For not having a cuddle buddy (and pets are not an option for me). I'd like to stop feeling sorry for myself. AND soothe my pain. How?

And if I'm to date online, how do I stick to it instead of instantly deleting it? I think I should stay away from those sites though for now. Truthfully.

[Imokay2]

I totally get this. Except, I don't do the old, I had some really bad experiences a few years ago and realized it just was not the right time. Honestly, I distract myself by watching a movie or something similar. I decided I wanted to learn about a certain topic that interested me, and most of what I watch have to do with that topic, I'm learning new things. I think other people might be better at answers. I just wanted you to know that I have feelings like that too.

[Have Hope]

What if you tried acceptance of the loneliness? Meaning, accepting it, coping with it and getting through it rather than trying to resolve it by means that are not working for you, ie, online dating? This would mean coping with the moments of loneliness.... acknowledging those moments as they occur, saying to yourself, oK, I'm lonely tonight, so now what? Then finding your way through it, doing whatever until the morning? Loneliness is often far better than dealing with weeding through all the frogs that one must weed through online to find a good one that may be worthy of your time, heart and trust.

[bpcyclist]

Oh, man. I have a similar thing. I joined some sites, but basically all I found was women who wanted sex and not much else, and that's not really of interest to me. So, I un-joined them all. I still get these crazy texts from these gals, but I just delete them. I never realized how many uh, lonely, uh, women there were.

I try to distract myself with other activities now. I read, I work on PC, I write, I watch a show or two that I like, I go for a walk. I just do other things and it gets me through. I've given up on ever having another relationship. Who would want to be with someone who has been through what I have?

[Imokay2]

Bp that's how I feel about myself too, in a way it's good to know that I'm not the only one, on the other hand, I'm sorry someone else feels that way.
I think a lot of people don't think about things very deeply, they go through life on reaction without knowing why they do and say what they do, kind of infecting other's with their unresolved issues.
I see my stuff and know the kind of person I want to be with wouldn't want that. At least, that's what it seems like to me.
But, I probably just spread some negative thinking by saying it. I want to get to the point where I am feeling much better and like I am the person I would want to be with.
Although, I wonder if I am already that and the person is like me, just growing how they can and doing their best.
If that's the case then I wouldn't it be nice to have a dating site for people like us.
Introverted self improvement, truth and spirituality seekers.
"Slightly broken but mending, has been through it and is coming out the other side of it, really want take my time getting to know someone, do not want another heartbreak, thanks very much."

Originally Posted by Have Hope

What if you tried acceptance of the loneliness? Meaning, accepting it, coping with it and getting through it rather than trying to resolve it by means that are not working for you, ie, online dating? This would mean coping with the moments of loneliness.... acknowledging those moments as they occur, saying to yourself, oK, I'm lonely tonight, so now what? Then finding your way through it, doing whatever until the morning? Loneliness is often far better than dealing with weeding through all the frogs that one must weed through online to find a good one that may be worthy of your time, heart and trust.

This is helpful, and I agree with your ending sentiments as well. Thanks.


I have a good list, too, of other things to engage in and do.


Sometimes its hard to actually get off my butt and do other things (things that are helpful). But I'm reminding myself, "if nothing changes, then nothing changes." it helps.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

This is helpful, and I agree with your ending sentiments as well. Thanks.

I have a good list, too, of other things to engage in and do.

Sometimes its hard to actually get off my butt and do other things (things that are helpful). But I'm reminding myself, "if nothing changes, then nothing changes." it helps.

I love that statement, "if nothing changes, then nothing changes", which is a great reminder in so many ways that change takes effort. I know that feeling very well myself.

But you're right. The only way to actually do something for yourself is to just do it.

When I don't feel like doing something that I know may be good for me, I always just say "JUST DO IT". Kind of like when you want to swim in that beautiful lake, but you know the water may be really cold, and you dive in anyways. It's cold at first, but then it feels good.

[Open Eyes]

WovenGalaxy, I have a friend that is single and lonely. My friend joined a dancing class and she has found that very helpful because she has met dancing partners in this class and that helps her to experience physical contact.

It would also be helpful if you found other groups you could join, cooking classes can be fun and some people join reading groups or do this thing called "meet up" where people get together and socialize.

My friend goes for a message once in a while too. She says it just feels wonderful.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

WovenGalaxy, I have a friend that is single and lonely. My friend joined a dancing class and she has found that very helpful because she has met dancing partners in this class and that helps her to experience physical contact.

It would also be helpful if you found other groups you could join, cooking classes can be fun and some people join reading groups or do this thing called "meet up" where people get together and socialize.

My friend goes for a message once in a while too. She says it just feels wonderful.

This is also a really good idea Open Eyes.

I need to be social more. This is hard for me. But I have to. I'm not sure about dance classes. I'm shy and just not sure. But its something to think about.

I volunteer. But its completely not enough. Its once a week.

I am going to be taking some academic classes in January. So that's something.

I'm allergic to cats n dogs. But I do miss animals. Maybe I can volunteer at my local animal shelter.

Massages are a good idea too. They're expensive. But sometimes possible for me. Sometimes.

Edit: in terms of group and social things, I have a lot "in the works." There are 2 other volunteer gigs that don't start till January and April 2020. Same w school. Hey, its coming up, so that's good. December was sort of a dead social month. I remember looking for things to do in early December, and it didn't seem like a very fruitful month. Anyway I think there will be plenty to do in January.