The day after

Any disappointments? Conflicts that blindsided you?

I was disappointed in what I got from my husband. He didn't seem in the mood, hope he's not depressed or something.

Last night I was at my stepsister's and my youngest niece (in her 30's) came up to me with a gift and started with how she hoped the present would have as much meaning to me as it did to her (no pressure :-) and did I remember 25-30 years ago when I had her to my apartment to spend the night and took her to some little shop and bought her adorable little panda bear figurines she still has (present was a panda tree ornament)? I remembered when she spent the night but with other memories and can't now even imagine what "shop" we bought the knicknacks she's talking about in.

I lived in Washington, D.C. a couple blocks from the National Zoo so the Panda part's okay; maybe we went to the Zoo and she's talking about the Zoo shop or something. But I hate that when something is really meaningful to you or someone else and the other person doesn't remember. In this instance it just made me realize I'm not always on the receiving end of T not remembering or parents/siblings, etc. In the last 5-10 years the "remember" game with stepsister, nieces, etc. has intensified which can be pretty triggering sometimes. I get to feeling badly about myself when nieces remember something that "changed their lives" that I did and that they still remember, etc. but I don't. Apparently I took this same niece and her girlfriend to see "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" when it came out (I would have been around 18 and they, 4ish) at the movies and they both remember that. I vaguely remember the incident (remember being at the movies, no VCR/DVD's yet back in 1968 :-) but not who I was with.

But so far (still a big family party, my husband's family, coming on Friday) I'm doing okay.

I so relate to this situation. People are always saying, 'Do you remember when..... ' and inside I'm saying ..."No!.. I did that?...or wow, where was I when this was going on?" Luckily in most cases I've done something nice that they thought was important or something they really needed at some point; but that I didn't even realize it. Sometime I worry that I am showing early signs of Alzheimer's, I can't image what I'll be like in 20 more years.

I hope things get better with your husband.

I too have the problem. it seems the person that remembers it(the event) it had some kind of major impact.

Ah Perna! I know how frustrating it is not to remember, but apparently you've touched so many peoples lives that you just can't keep track. That sounds wonderful!

Im the opposite- I remember EVERY word said, from the time of about 3years old on, up to thirty-four, my age now. Some of the things I remember are very deep, then when someone else DOESN'T remember- wow- it feels like a sword hit my heart, I take it VERY hard. I do not remember anything practical though, just social conversations, so it doesn't help me at all, hinders me, if I have to remember something practical, where my car was parked, where I put my purse, the name of the teacher I'm subbing for, finding my way to a new place with minimal directions, but hey- I can tell you exactly what you confided with me in tears, word for word, when your birthday is and what your plans are, cause that's more social, our favorite joke, your story about what happened to you that embarrased you, anything emotional i remember, word for word....what are others experiences with this?