Made a mistake with my toxic ex bf

Yes, @Open Eyes, that but also he knocked on her door when she was lonely and therefore, she allowed the door to be opened again. I know that one all too well.

Each time I've gotten involved in the wrong relationship is when I've been lonely and took whatever came to me, or whomever showed me some attention first.

That's the thing to be corrected. Is to have caution up and to take precaution at all times, especially when we're at our loneliest. Anyone can come knocking, but it then up to us to be discerning about to whom we open the door. It cannot just be anyone. It should be someone worthy of our attention and time. We don't know in the beginning whether they truly are worthy. So that's why we have to get to know someone for a while before committing emotionally to them.

And Gymgirl said she was lonely, so she allowed the door to be opened, even though she knew he was bad for her.

I agree in that lonliness can be one thing that can make a person vulnerable to accepting the wrong invitations.

Truth is ALL predators/toxic people practice singling out behavior patterns. They also use threats of "no one else will want you or help you or believe you" techniques. Toxic individuals will also look to recruit others to help them isolate their target. There are some that will play nice with others and appear charming and the "good guy" with others just so they can form their own "flying monkey team" when they need help in getting rid of whatever obstacles come between them and what they want too.

You don’t go to a bakery to buy vegetables. They aren’t selling them and it would be silly to demand or expect they sell you what they can’t possibly have in stock.

By the same logic you don’t go to selfish, uncommitted and unavailable mean addict (or insert any other undesirable qualities in partners) for devotion, love and attention (or what else you want from a partner).

They don’t have it to give so why waste time demanding they give you something what they do not possess to give you.

good metaphor and point

Oh he does play the part well...I can always tell when he’s lying..he will go on talking about himself and trying to convince himself of the delusional fantasies he believes (wanting to succeed, be a millionaire, have kids, etc)

Then he drinks and all he really does is get drunk because he doesn't know how to do anything else.

pretty much...he talks about doing other things but it’s all talk.