[Lilia007]

im not really sure how to explain this but all my relationships go on a loop- I meet a guy, we start speaking online lots, catch feelings, we meet a few times and I seem to really like them. Then Ill suddenly be really cringed out buy them like a gradual “Ick”. Certain things they do will put me off so much that I cant even think about them, from stupid things like their walk/hair/height. It can get to the point where them touching me makes me feel physically sick. Ive ended every potential relationship because of this- but its not that I dont want to be dating someone long term.. its that I cant seem to keep my feelings for them? Is it because I have an unrealistic expectation of a “perfect” boyfriend- as I am a young model and know I can get (almost) any guy I wish so never know whos right? (and Im very very influenced by what other people think of them). Should I just push through this ”ick” feeling? Will it go away with time?

[MrsA]

I totally understand the ick factor. Sometimes it was triggered by guys acting attracted to me. If someone makes you feel icky, there's probably no hope for a long term relationship.

A couple years ago, I did worry I had commitment phobia. I got pursued by an aggressive older man and because he was my parents' age, I had a hard time cutting him off because it felt like disrespecting seniors.

After that I felt panicky whenever an older man wanted to be friends and I thought somthing was wrong with me. But the next 2 older men ended up wanting more than friendship and behaved inappropriately so now I learn to trust my gut and cut them off as soon as it feels wrong.

Likewise, I think the ick you feel may be your intuition telling you something is not right. When I make an effort to avoid being grossed out by a guy or try to convince myself they are ok, it usually turns out badly. I think you should trust your feelings. Maybe you are more reserved or have higher standards in your preferences. There's nothing wrong with that.

I think when you meet the right person, they won't feel icky to you. It's natural to prefer partners whose attractiveness is similar to yours so you may prefer to date other models. That's ok so long as you are mentally compatible as well.

Sometimes the ickiness will go away if a person is cool and becomes friends with you. But I find that it doesn't work if the icky person keeps pursuing you in a romantic way. Just do what feels comfortable and don't feel pressure to date anyone unless you really want to.

[Be Still]

Hey there! This sounds like me a few years ago. I would be so into a guy, allow them to pursue me and then once they were giving me all the attention and showing genuine interest...something in my head would whisper “Run!” and then I would start orchestrating an exit strategy. I laugh at it now but back then I was really concerned that maybe I was shut off to actually experiencing love and true lasting love. Well now I’m currently single (by choice) and it’s because I realized that the Icky feeling was me feeling uncomfortable with them connecting with me on a more deep level, because I had so many insecurities about myself! So that’s why I’m currently single. When I look back, they were decent guys, I just wasn’t ready to love anyone before I knew how to love myself. So hopefully the next guy gets 150% of me because I’ve put in a lot of work internally.

I hope you receive the love you deserve!

[bshaffer836]

Hello, sorry that you are going through this. If it were me I would focus on getting to know them on the inside. For example, their general character and morals you have in common. That way you can fall in love with them for who they are, and not their nasty habits. Anyways, good luck