Codependent

@Buffy01, I wish I had some good advice or words of wisdom to share. I don't because I believe I am codependent too, and I struggle with it immensely.

Being left out of family events would hurt, so I can imagine that would naturally trigger feelings of abandonment. I have abandonment issues too, so I can relate.

As for asking for advice too frequently? I still ask my parents for advice a lot of the time, especially when it comes to work issues. I guess I don't have that much confidence in myself, which is why I ask for guidance more than I should.

Maybe the answer is to seek the answers within yourself more? And to lean on yourself more than you do on others for the advice you seek? I am trying to do this myself, but it's a challenge due to the confidence issue. I wish I had more confidence in my own ability to problem solve, but I find it helpful to get others' perspectives.

I'm sorry that I cannot be helpful, but I wanted to offer my support, at the very least because I am in a similar boat.

Hugs to you.

That more than enough advice for me. I will keep that all in mind. I wish I had self confidence as well.

@Buffy01, do you have a therapist to work on your confidence with? That can definitely be worked on and improved. It takes time, but it's something that can be changed and is within our control.

I try to look at what is in my control to work on and change, and what is completely out of my hands. I have to work on my confidence every day of my life - especially my confidence level at work. I am constantly doubting myself and have imposter syndrome, whereby I feel like I am putting on a good act of knowing more than I actually do - so my confidence suffers.

It takes time and effort to work on oneself in this way, but I think it's well worth the effort in the end.

Thanks for starting this post. This is an area I've thought a lot about lately in terms of my own relationship. I want to start taking steps to becoming less codependent.