[ChargedInfluence]

My grandmother *****es at me all the time and never intervenes when my mom is berating me. My grandfather’s the same way. My mother is so abusive and I’ve hated her for the last 8 years of my life and wanted nothing to do with them. I can’t get away from them either because nobody else in my family has any room for me to move in and my mom has my disability money and lives off it while having no job herself. My whole family’s trash. I hate them so much that I want to kill them. And none of that is a joke either. I just got into my 3676985537373373773rd argument with them again today, and my grandmother was *****ing at me about what I was gonna do when they were gone and I finally had it and told her I looked forward to when that day comes. Hopefully I’ll be gone by then. **** everybody, I’ve had to deal with everyone’s **** for 8 years straight and had nobody to go to for support. I suffer from Schizophrenia and I have no support system whatsoever. I have an abuse system, but no kind of support. There has been nobody who was there for me when I needed them. Everybody just shits on me all the time. I need a way to get away from them but I don’t have any place to go to to deescalate. I’m stuck with them 24/7.

[Aviza]

Best thing I did was get a case manager. I recommend you apply for one. She has me in various programs, I now live on my own. It's so much better than being stuck with their abuse.

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by ChargedInfluence

My grandmother *****es at me all the time and never intervenes when my mom is berating me. My grandfather’s the same way. My mother is so abusive and I’ve hated her for the last 8 years of my life and wanted nothing to do with them. I can’t get away from them either because nobody else in my family has any room for me to move in and my mom has my disability money and lives off it while having no job herself. My whole family’s trash. I hate them so much that I want to kill them. And none of that is a joke either. I just got into my 3676985537373373773rd argument with them again today, and my grandmother was *****ing at me about what I was gonna do when they were gone and I finally had it and told her I looked forward to when that day comes. Hopefully I’ll be gone by then. **** everybody, I’ve had to deal with everyone’s **** for 8 years straight and had nobody to go to for support. I suffer from Schizophrenia and I have no support system whatsoever. I have an abuse system, but no kind of support. There has been nobody who was there for me when I needed them. Everybody just shits on me all the time. I need a way to get away from them but I don’t have any place to go to to deescalate. I’m stuck with them 24/7.

You need to let someone outside the family know that you are so angry that you might hurt someone, if this means going to the ER so be it. There you can at least be connected to a support system (yes I know the system sucks right now but you need to try your best). And please remember it will not always feel as bad as it does right now but the anger remains and needs to be worked through or managed in a safe way. Hang in there.

[~Christina]

Well I’m assuming your over 18 , it is illegal for her to take your disability money.. unless there is a court order.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist and T ? You can ask both of them what options and opportunity’s are to safely get you out of that situation. Can get you a caseworker or social worker to help you

Many people get into a roommate situation. A social worker could be very helpful for you finding a good place for you.

Is your disability deposited into her bank acct or do you have your own acct ?!?

You need your own bank account that her nor any other family has access too.

I do know there are reasons that social security can make an immediate change in which account that your disability monies go into a different acct.

If you truly want to kill your family you need immediately help. Often going into the hospital is the best way to get things set up so that you can fully get out of this situation

Stay safe

[ChargedInfluence]

Originally Posted by winter4me

You need to let someone outside the family know that you are so angry that you might hurt someone, if this means going to the ER so be it. There you can at least be connected to a support system (yes I know the system sucks right now but you need to try your best). And please remember it will not always feel as bad as it does right now but the anger remains and needs to be worked through or managed in a safe way. Hang in there.

Thanks. I was already committed not too long ago between August 26th - September 9th, 2019 for this problem. I’ve never had anybody to go to throughout all these years of suffering. When I was committed in 2015, I called my aunt to ask her if she would let me move in with her just so I wouldn’t have to stay there but she told me she didn’t have any room for me. I haven’t forgiven her since. I’ve suffered for the last 8 or 9 years now, and I’ve never had anybody to go to for help and support. I don’t like mental wards. They’re terrible places where you have no freedoms. That’s the reason why I never talk to counselors seriously or even call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or crisis numbers anymore.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by ChargedInfluence

My grandmother *****es at me all the time and never intervenes when my mom is berating me. My grandfather’s the same way. My mother is so abusive and I’ve hated her for the last 8 years of my life and wanted nothing to do with them. I can’t get away from them either because nobody else in my family has any room for me to move in and my mom has my disability money and lives off it while having no job herself. My whole family’s trash. I hate them so much that I want to kill them. And none of that is a joke either. I just got into my 3676985537373373773rd argument with them again today, and my grandmother was *****ing at me about what I was gonna do when they were gone and I finally had it and told her I looked forward to when that day comes. Hopefully I’ll be gone by then. **** everybody, I’ve had to deal with everyone’s **** for 8 years straight and had nobody to go to for support. I suffer from Schizophrenia and I have no support system whatsoever. I have an abuse system, but no kind of support. There has been nobody who was there for me when I needed them. Everybody just shits on me all the time. I need a way to get away from them but I don’t have any place to go to to deescalate. I’m stuck with them 24/7.

I completely understand how you feel. I am in the same way with my family.

[poshgirl]

ChargedInfluence, please get all the help you can.

Although not suffering from any mental illness, I've had these feelings too. Mother who thinks it's fine to belittle me although I've taken her to medical appointments, shopping, sorted out benefits, etc. Aunt (her sister) gets involved in things that don't concern her yet but hasn't got time to listen to me. Brother who is mother's favourite, despite lack of interest in her welfare. My mother blames her attitude of her mother's inability to parent, having favourites. Only person I've any time for in my family is 14 year old niece. Sadly too young at moment to make her own way in life!

Your situation is not your fault. Often other relatives don't want to help for fear of taking sides. We're all entitled to have some dark thoughts, how we deal with them is an indication of our character. Hope this makes sense.