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  #1  
Old Feb 06, 2020, 08:40 PM
KMO31 KMO31 is offline
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So a friend and I just spent a night together and it was intense. I just wanted an outsiders perspective.

We started drinking at about 10pm on the 6th of feb, we spent the evening full of innuendos, flirting and the odd dirty talk, but it was just fun. We then ran out of alcohol and decided to get the bed cover on the sofa and lay there together. We then decided the sofa is too small for us to lay on together so why not just go to bed? We went to bed and she was facing the other way, so took the opportunity to cuddle into her. It was nice, and she embraced it a few times.

I then got super tired and decided to turn over, I fell asleep and woke up to her snuggling into me. We then woke up at midday and we kind of just smiled at each other and both agreed we'd get up soon, I asked her if we were going to do this again, and she said "what, cuddles? Maybe." "I won't tell if you don't, and as long as its kept a secret we can"

Is there potential?
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Be Still, bpcyclist, mote.of.soul

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  #2  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 02:21 AM
Be Still Be Still is offline
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I was buying into the romance until she spoke about it being a secret. Secrets make us feel like we’re doing something bad or shameful. I don’t understand why it has to be a secret. Does she have a boyfriend maybe?

Also doesn’t sound like she expressed developing feelings for you. She’s only down for cuddles. So you need to decide if that’s the type of relationship you want from her.
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  #3  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 02:55 AM
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bpcyclist bpcyclist is offline
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Why is it a secret?
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  #4  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 04:55 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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If she wants to keep it a secret, I’d say there is no potential for anything. I would also say people do all kind of stuff when drunk. I’d see how she acts when sober
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  #5  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 07:09 AM
KMO31 KMO31 is offline
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The secrecy is more for who we are involved with. I'm in a motorcycle club so politics dictate.

We've had a history for a while, she is permanently flirting, we'd do the same not being drunk, I like privacy too.
  #6  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 07:38 AM
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mote.of.soul mote.of.soul is offline
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There is potential there, my friend, yes. She trusts you
  #7  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 10:03 AM
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s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
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anyone that wants to have intimacy with you on condition of secrecy isn't worth your time because you're not worth them actually admitting they are intimate with you in public.
Thanks for this!
Be Still
  #8  
Old Feb 07, 2020, 01:31 PM
Be Still Be Still is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
anyone that wants to have intimacy with you on condition of secrecy isn't worth your time because you're not worth them actually admitting they are intimate with you in public.
This is so true!
  #9  
Old Feb 08, 2020, 02:44 AM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Well I had a male friend back in my late 20’s ... we use to hang out a lot and we also had a night of probably too many drinks and cuddled in bed. Come morning I was conflicted about news of this getting out to our friends so I did ask that we kept it to ourselves, a secret.. we explored whether or not to actually get involved over fir probably close to month ... we finally decided it was best we stay friends only. We are still friends.

So just because she wanted it as secret doesn’t necessarily mean for ever. I see it on social media all the time date number 2 and people are updated status to in a relationship, not everything in life needs to be rushed.

My advice spend more time together and just see how it goes.
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mote.of.soul
  #10  
Old Feb 08, 2020, 08:01 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMO31 View Post
The secrecy is more for who we are involved with. I'm in a motorcycle club so politics dictate.

We've had a history for a while, she is permanently flirting, we'd do the same not being drunk, I like privacy too.
Being in a motorcycle club prevents you from being in a relationship ? I am not sure I understand why there need to be secrecy and what politics dictates two single people must hide their romance. It’s ok to take it slow but secrecy is a bit different. I’d ask her to elaborate what she meant by keeping it a secret. Are you two single and free?
Thanks for this!
Be Still
  #11  
Old Feb 08, 2020, 08:11 AM
KMO31 KMO31 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Being in a motorcycle club prevents you from being in a relationship ? I am not sure I understand why there need to be secrecy and what politics dictates two single people must hide their romance. It’s ok to take it slow but secrecy is a bit different. I’d ask her to elaborate what she meant by keeping it a secret. Are you two single and free?
Because we both enjoy our private lives and we want to just focus on each other. We like privacy, we enjoy being able to just nip round and it be normal. We've been dating for a while but never settled, now we've made a real effort we just don't want the fuss. Plus we enjoy the secrecy, people ask questions and we shrug them off.

Being in an MC makes it harder, I have a commitment to my club and having her In involved isn't something I take lightly

Last night I went over, now night, food, duvet, movies and cuddles with the dog. Walked to breakfast, we were both happy and when someone mentioned the relationship, usually she'd tell them she doesn't know what they are talking about ect ect but this time she just smiled and looked at me as I reached for smokes
  #12  
Old Feb 08, 2020, 11:55 AM
Anonymous49105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMO31 View Post
Because we both enjoy our private lives and we want to just focus on each other. We like privacy, we enjoy being able to just nip round and it be normal. We've been dating for a while but never settled, now we've made a real effort we just don't want the fuss. Plus we enjoy the secrecy, people ask questions and we shrug them off.

Being in an MC makes it harder, I have a commitment to my club and having her In involved isn't something I take lightly

Last night I went over, now night, food, duvet, movies and cuddles with the dog. Walked to breakfast, we were both happy and when someone mentioned the relationship, usually she'd tell them she doesn't know what they are talking about ect ect but this time she just smiled and looked at me as I reached for smokes
It sounds like you have the answer to your original question of "is there potential" then. The secrecy thing threw me, too. But since its not an issue for you and you've given background on that, I have a better idea that that's not an issue for u. What kind of advice are you looking for about this situation?
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