[rdgrad15]

Does anyone have places they used to frequent a lot but due to the changes of time and people moving away or other things happening, you avoid those places you once loved due to all the memories you had? They don’t have to be bad memories. It can be good ones too. But revisiting those places can still bring on feelings of a longing for the past and maybe a twinge of sadness.

This is how I feel about the location I used to live in while I was at college. I used to really love it there and for a few years, really wanted to move back to that location and even get a job there. But now, my feelings have changed. Not only is it way too expensive for me to afford even with a couple roommates, the last person I know who I am friends with is moving away.

She will either go to Atlanta with her parents or move closer to where I live now which there is a possibility that may happen and she is working on that. After she leaves the area I used to live in, I won’t know anyone I am close to anymore. Everyone has either moved on, or sadly, passed away. I don’t have bad memories there. In fact, most of my memories are good, I really loved it. But now that times has changed, I am just met with sadness and not wanting to be there.

I don’t even think I want to get a job up there anymore since if I did, it would require me to move. There are other places close to where I live that I can work at. Exact same kind of job, just closer to my house and I can still get an apartment that is more affordable. Does anyone else feel sense of sadness or longing when visiting a place that they once lived or frequently went to? Like I said, my five years living there while I was at college was great, but now it doesn’t serve a real purpose. Wasn’t sure if it was normal to feel that was since good memories should bring happiness.

[Yaowen]

I think your feelings are completely understandable.

Although my life has been different from yours, I can identify with most everything you write about places causing feelings of longing for the past and sadness. You write very well of these things.

I hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do in the future.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

I think your feelings are completely understandable.

Although my life has been different from yours, I can identify with most everything you write about places causing feelings of longing for the past and sadness. You write very well of these things.

I hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do in the future.

Yeah true. Like I said, they are all good memories. I absolutely loved being there, in fact I got depressed when I graduated and moved back home. But yeah now, things have changed and it just brings nostalgia and sadness. Thank you.

[ARaven0137]

Thank you for sharing. I think I can understand how you feel. I work in an area where transfers are common and I've seen so many friends leave. Or, I go to a new place and start over. Everyone I've really bonded with at work are now gone and I do feel sad and find that I dislike going into the office now.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by ARaven0137

Thank you for sharing. I think I can understand how you feel. I work in an area where transfers are common and I've seen so many friends leave. Or, I go to a new place and start over. Everyone I've really bonded with at work are now gone and I do feel sad and find that I dislike going into the office now.

Yep I totally get it. Yeah my work has a high transfer rate as well. Yeah it can be sad to revisit places that once made you happy. That’s how I feel about my college and the surrounding area. I used to love it there, and loved visiting after graduating. But now, I just feel sad when I’m there. I only go up there to visit a friend that lives close by. Once she moves, I really have no reason to be there.

[giddykitty]

I think this kindof relates. Pretty soon after I got married, I moved back to my hometown where I grew up. It was bittersweet because it was familiar, but most people I knew weren't there anymore. And now, while it wasn't always the best of memories, my old high school is going to be torn down soon and I'll never get to walk by it again. It could be helpful in forgetting the bad, but I don't think I'll ever fully lose the memories and it mostly just feels sad to me. To top it off, my parents who've lived here all my life and still do, might inevitably leave because I haven't given them grandchildren, but my sibling has. They might prefer to live closer to them. Sigh! But it hasn't happened yet, so we'll see.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by giddykitty

I think this kindof relates. Pretty soon after I got married, I moved back to my hometown where I grew up. It was bittersweet because it was familiar, but most people I knew weren't there anymore. And now, while it wasn't always the best of memories, my old high school is going to be torn down soon and I'll never get to walk by it again. It could be helpful in forgetting the bad, but I don't think I'll ever fully lose the memories and it mostly just feels sad to me. To top it off, my parents who've lived here all my life and still do, might inevitably leave because I haven't given them grandchildren, but my sibling has. They might prefer to live closer to them. Sigh! But it hasn't happened yet, so we'll see.

Yeah that is sad. My high school was torn down and a a new one was rebuilt after I graduated so it is not the same high school I graduated from. It’s still in the same school district but yeah it’s different. Yeah places that brought me joy before now make me sad. Yeah there were some bad times in high school and even some drama in college but college was way better and I do miss those times.

[divine1966]

I think the concept of “no one can step into the same river twice” applies here. It’s not the same river and you aren’t the same person. So when you go back or think of it, you changed and the town changed. So it’s understandable how you feel.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think the concept of “no one can step into the same river twice” applies here. It’s not the same river and you aren’t the same person. So when you go back or think of it, you changed and the town changed. So it’s understandable how you feel.

Never heard of that concept but it makes total sense. Yeah people change over time. I’m still going to get another job and move out. Just may not be in the same township as I once wanted to. Especially once my friend moves away which most likely will be in May. Maybe June at the latest. After that, I have no reason to visit.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Does anyone have places they used to frequent a lot but due to the changes of time and people moving away or other things happening, you avoid those places you once loved due to all the memories you had? They don’t have to be bad memories. It can be good ones too. But revisiting those places can still bring on feelings of a longing for the past and maybe a twinge of sadness.

This is how I feel about the location I used to live in while I was at college. I used to really love it there and for a few years, really wanted to move back to that location and even get a job there. But now, my feelings have changed. Not only is it way too expensive for me to afford even with a couple roommates, the last person I know who I am friends with is moving away.

She will either go to Atlanta with her parents or move closer to where I live now which there is a possibility that may happen and she is working on that. After she leaves the area I used to live in, I won’t know anyone I am close to anymore. Everyone has either moved on, or sadly, passed away. I don’t have bad memories there. In fact, most of my memories are good, I really loved it. But now that times has changed, I am just met with sadness and not wanting to be there.

I don’t even think I want to get a job up there anymore since if I did, it would require me to move. There are other places close to where I live that I can work at. Exact same kind of job, just closer to my house and I can still get an apartment that is more affordable. Does anyone else feel sense of sadness or longing when visiting a place that they once lived or frequently went to? Like I said, my five years living there while I was at college was great, but now it doesn’t serve a real purpose. Wasn’t sure if it was normal to feel that was since good memories should bring happiness.

I completely understand how you feel. I been feeling like this myself. It is normal.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I completely understand how you feel. I been feeling like this myself. It is normal.

Thank you and I agree.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think the concept of “no one can step into the same river twice” applies here. It’s not the same river and you aren’t the same person. So when you go back or think of it, you changed and the town changed. So it’s understandable how you feel.

I really like that divine. I think it's a good way to think about other life challenges too.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I really like that divine. I think it's a good way to think about other life challenges too.

I totally agree. It makes total sense and it's absolutely true.

[Open Eyes]

There is this little story this reminds me of too.

A guy is traveling down the road and sees an old man on the side of the road. So he decides to stop and talk to the old man to get information about a town he is traveling to up ahead. He asks the man what the town is like up ahead and if it's a nice town. The old man replies by asking him a question, "Tell me, what was the town like you are coming from?" The guy replies with a glow of pleasure and says, "Oh it was a wonderful town, so many nice people and I really enjoyed living there". To that the old man said to him, "Well, that is what the town you are heading to will like too".

A little while later another man is traveling down the road and sees the old man. He too decides to stop and talk to the old man. This man asks the old man the same question about what the town up ahead is like. And the old man asks him too, "What was the town like that you are coming from"? This man said, "Oh, it was just awful, the people were mean and I could not get along with them, it was terrible". To this man, the old man replies, "That is exactly how this town ahead is going to be like for you too".

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

There is this little story this reminds me of too.

A guy is traveling down the road and sees an old man on the side of the road. So he decides to stop and talk to the old man to get information about a town he is traveling to up ahead. He asks the man what the town is like up ahead and if it's a nice town. The old man replies by asking him a question, "Tell me, what was the town like you are coming from?" The guy replies with a glow of pleasure and says, "Oh it was a wonderful town, so many nice people and I really enjoyed living there". To that the old man said to him, "Well, that is what the town you are heading to will like too".

A little while later another man is traveling down the road and sees the old man. He too decides to stop and talk to the old man. This man asks the old man the same question about what the town up ahead is like. And the old man asks him too, "What was the town like that you are coming from"? This man said, "Oh, it was just awful, the people were mean and I could not get along with them, it was terrible". To this man, the old man replies, "That is exactly how this town ahead is going to be like for you too".

Oh wow. Interesting story. So what I'm understanding is basically everyone will have their different opinions of what a place is like and they may have the same perception if they move around? Not sure if I'm reading it right.

[Open Eyes]

Yes, this little story takes a bit to ponder rdgrad15.

It seems like the old man is confused about what the town ahead is really like. YET, what it really means is how within the man asking the question and how his own attitude and behaviors can CREATE a good experience in any town he travels to.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes, this little story takes a bit to ponder rdgrad15.

It seems like the old man is confused about what the town ahead is really like. YET, what it really means is how within the man asking the question and how his own attitude and behaviors can CREATE a good experience in any town he travels to.

Ohh okay, I figured but wasn't sure. Thank you for the clarification and it makes so much sense. I totally agree with this.

[Open Eyes]

What you shared reminded me of the movie "Saint Elmos Fire". These individuals had this place they used to hang out together. They all experienced different life challenges and experienced different moments of friendship and letdowns. Then they all grew from these experiences and got to a point where they were all going their own ways. They looked at this hangout and realized, they all changed and there were now new individuals using this "hangout". That's when they realized they had all outgrown their hangout.

Sometimes a person tries to recapture that, but it's not something that can be recaptured. Instead it's time to move forward and find new experiences and grow as a person.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

What you shared reminded me of the movie "Saint Elmos Fire". These individuals had this place they used to hang out together. They all experienced different life challenges and experienced different moments of friendship and letdowns. Then they all grew from these experiences and got to a point where they were all going their own ways. They looked at this hangout and realized, they all changed and there were now new individuals using this "hangout". That's when they realized they had all outgrown their hangout.

Sometimes a person tries to recapture that, but it's not something that can be recaptured. Instead it's time to move forward and find new experiences and grow as a person.

Oh that is pretty cool. Thanks for sharing. Yes, I totally agree. When I go up there to visit, I am usually there waiting to be picked up by a friend and that area, whether it's on campus or a theater just across the street, is the most convenient place. But as you said, it isn't the same when you go back to those old hang out places or old stomping grounds. The college campus is still the same other than some small renovations here and there, the surrounding area is the same, although some parts has been developed over the years, but the people are obviously different.

And like I said, once my friend moves away in May or June, whether it's to Atlanta or closer to my house, I have no reason to go back to where I used to go to college. You can look back at the memories fondly, but you can't recapture those old times no matter what. In a way, sometimes seeing things, like renovations taking place, can actually help with moving on in a way because you're not looking at something that is identical and making the memories more powerful. You are looking at something different and just simply remembering how it used to be and how things used to look. It makes it easier to move on if that makes sense. Sorry if that sounds confusing.

[Open Eyes]

Oh no need to appoligize, I totally understand what you are saying. I also like how you added that seeing something renovated and changed can act as a positive because it is another way to confirm something has changed and it can make it easier to move on.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Oh no need to appoligize, I totally understand what you are saying. I also like how you added that seeing something renovated and changed can act as a positive because it is another way to confirm something has changed and it can make it easier to move on.

Thank you and yeah I think it makes it easier. It still may be a bit sad to see how things changed, but in a sense, it's still better than to lose people you used to really like and hang around, only to go back and see that things are exactly as they used to be. I think that serves a much harder nostalgic blow in my opinion. In that case, it can be easy to do the whole, "I remember this happened here. I remember when we did this there." And so on. At least seeing something changed, as I mentioned, softens the nostalgic feelings and brings feelings of acceptance easier and quicker.