Not wanting to admit that you were wrong to someone who may be arrogant and stuck up

Overall, it can be hard to admit if you were wrong, but at the same time, it's the right thing to do when it comes to admitting that you were wrong and even apologizing. However, does anyone have difficulty admitting they were wrong about something to someone who is very arrogant and stuck up? I will admit I am this way. For most people I like, I am not afraid to admit that they were right about something, but there have been some people, and still are some people, that I refuse to admit they are right about something due to how arrogant they are and how much they rub it in.

I've seen it happen where if an arrogant person realizes they actually were right, they will keep rubbing it in. They'll say stuff like, "See, I told you I was right. You need to start listening to me. I know what I'm talking about and I know when I'm right and that I'm always right." My dad is like that so I never tell him when I realize if he was right about something. Same for people at work and even back when I was in school. And it can be someone of any age and it can be about anything. Someone who thinks they are better than others and know everything will rub in the fact that they are right and will even get mad if people don't listen to them.

I don't mean to come off as arrogant myself or unwilling to admit when I'm wrong, I just don't like the idea of someone who is already arrogant and truly believes they have all the right answers to have their ego's inflated more so than they already are. This doesn't happen all the time, but in the cases where it has, I am way more reluctant to admit I was wrong and they were right if they have a superiority complex. For those who don't have a superiority complex, I'm way more willing to admit that they were right about something and even more willing to apologize. Again, I don't mean to sound like I'm being rude or not willing to admit wrong doing to anyone, I'm just reluctant to do it to someone who truly believes they are above others and has all the right answers.

Usually, in the past and even present, someone else or even I admitted that they were right to an arrogant person, they will respond by saying that others should have listened and may even get angry. I've heard some people say, "Why didn't you listen to me? You know I have all the right answers. From now on, listen to what I say and you will have no more problems." For someone who is not arrogant, I don't think they would do that, at least not to that extent. But those who are arrogant truly believe they're better than others and will rub it in consistently without end. Has anyone ever experienced this? Just wondered what your thoughts were. I will still mentally admit they may have been right about something, but I will not verbalize it to that person. I believe they don't need their ego's inflated anymore than it already is.

*Deep breath and sigh!

I totally get what you're saying, but I'm not sure the person who bugs me most lately goes as far as to literally say "I told you so". That's actually more my thing when I'm finally right about something in regards to them. They brag on about their accomplishments and are very critical of others. "If you'd just do it my way..." they say. It's really innerving! So yeah, I often not admit I was wrong because they probably already know. Thing is, and it hits my heart here because I love this person, even when they might react a certain way, they need to know that I know I was wrong and am sorry when I was. So like say it was something really serious...or just times when they call me out on something, well then I feel I have to admit it...but yes, I suppose there have been many instances when I've kept it to myself for exactly that reason- their ego is big enough already. It's hard. It really is! Especially when it's someone you love and they just don't seem to see what they're doing to you. :/

Exactly. I agree. It is hard because know what will happen if you admit to someone who is arrogant that they were right. No need to inflate their egos any more than it already is.

Usually when people think or act like they know it all, they know very little or anything at all. And sometimes they know that they don’t it but they make themselves feel more adequate by acting like they know it all. So if they are occasionally right it’s ok to make them feel better by acknowledging it or just nod. Or just ignore.

My sister in law likes to “teach” others about specifics of higher education even though she never stepped her foot in any educational facility beyond high school and we all have a minimum of Masters degree. She never held any job besides occasional part time long ago. She still acts like she knows better about jobs too. She doesn’t. Her arrogance has no basis. But it’s fine. We ignore it. Her own kids roll their eyes. She is a good person but this nonsense cracks me up

It's pretty common to struggle when you know the other person just takes what you say and chooses to beat you with it, be if they are right OR wrong. What you are talking about is a personality that needs to focus on the win, how they need to be the so called winner.

It's understandable you may remember how your father may have been like this with you. Often some parents are like that not realizing it's really ok if their child (who is trying to learn) makes a mistake or at times is right and the parent is actually wrong but doesn't want to admit it.

I have seen my daughter struggle with this kind of individual that is supposed to be highly educated. I have seen her be right many times when the other individual was wrong. She came to me with this challenge and I told her that I understand it's hard but it's more important to focus on what's right even when that can be hard when dealing with a difficult person. It's helped her alot with not only horse training but also in the corporate business world. What is more important is that whatever is being handled turns out right, be it addressing a challenge in a horse, a student, or a customer's needs.

For myself, I have had to work around individuals who's brains are wired differently than me, so I have had to learn how to look at things in different ways. Often wisdom doesn't always come from the ones who deem they are better because of their level of education. Sometimes, the wisdom is actually not even something that can necessarily can be taught.

I saw this a lot in the teachers I encountered in High School. Some of them were so incredibly arrogant. I never even shared things with these individuals or asked for their help because of how arrogent they were. I still can remember how they treated some of the other students that struggled. They acted like condescending bullies.

I often wonder if the reason some turn out the way you are describing is a result of being treated so poorly themselves. Often that's usually the case.

Oh wow, yeah that would annoy me too. Yeah ignoring is another good strategy as well, which I do also.

Yeah exactly. Some people's brains are wired differently as you mentioned so we just have to find ways to roll with it. Especially if they truly believe they have all the right answers and are so convinced that they will go as far as to say anyone who tells you any different is wrong.

Oh I totally agree. Usually arrogant people who are around me a lot will subtly give off signs that they have been burned many times in their past or grew up in a way that taught them they are better than others. I agree, a lot of teachers can be that way. Even some teachers at my work are like that when I sit through a class with a student. I'll get a vibe of extreme arrogance and it is one of those rare cases when I hear a student complaining about a teacher who is extremely arrogant, I will secretly agree with them even though I will not do so outwardly, since that would be inappropriate and unprofessional.

Yes lots of students complain over trivial stuff that has no truth, but in some rare cases, they are actually right but of course, as adults, we can't agree with them. So yeah, I've been in a position where I've had to tell a student to stop talking about a specific teacher or say the teacher isn't like that, but in reality, I know they are actually right. And it doesn't have to be just teachers, it can be anyone else in authority in any kind of work environment.

I always made it a point to meet my daughter's teachers. I wanted to meet them so if my daughter felt intimidated by any of them I could help her with it. Other than her first grade teacher who did not get that she was telling him the truth about not being able to read because of the dyslexia, I found she got along with all her other teachers. She always tried very hard and the teachers respected that. My daughter for a while wanted to be a teacher because she loved the learning environment. She was leaning towards becoming a math teacher. That's because her math teacher was a really nice teacher and contributed to her love of math.

One thing I never did was give my daughter any impression that she had to be some kind of top student for me. I really wanted her to love the learning itself.

Oh good. Yeah I always got along with my teachers too. During school, I can only think of a couple teachers I honestly didn’t like. But otherwise, I got along well.

You sound like a very pleasant person, I am not surprised you get along with people.

Never mind some annoying “know it alls”. We all run into people like that. Ignore them. It’s not you, it’s them. Hugs

That can bring positive memories when in an educational environment. Positive memories and feelings when learning too. I think that is more important than feeling stress about needing to get everything right or be perfect.

My father did a lot of damage because he never let me finish a sentence without correcting me. And then when I tried so hard to get it all right, he STILL interupted me telling me to add bigger words. That's hard on a child, they just want to feel heard and engage. I was cleaning out my desk and happened across a very, very old report card when I was in first grade. The comment was that I needed to communicate better. The sad part in finding that was because my father made me literally fear talking to adults. So, when he saw that comment on the report card he was even HARDER on me. That made me worse and I started to trip over my words and hated talking to adults even more.

It's so important to help young children love learning instead of fear that if they don't get it perfect they will be hurt somehow.

Hi @rdgrad15,

Not that I'm perfect by any means, but there's also the case of simply giving an apology to the person for the reason of clearing your conscience, if need be - releasing the guilt. Yes, it may trigger an ego response in the other person [hey, we all have an ego, don't we?] but at least you can say to yourself, you did the right thing. I've forced myself to apologize to people I didn't necessarily like because I realized, regardless of what their personality type is, they're still a person. I try to stick to this idea [albeit haphazardly] that everyone is equal. Do unto other's, etc, which includes apologizing.

So, did I apologize for them or for me? Well, at the end of the day, I like to think both.

Thank you and you sound pretty nice too. Hugs.

Yeah I agree.

My dad was the same way. I’ve gotten severe punishments for bad grades. I get bad grades are not good but severe punishments are a bit harsh in my opinion. I’m sorry you went through that.

Yeah I see where you're coming from. To an extent, I can agree. Like when we see a friend about to make the same mistake they’ve made at least a couple times before and expect everything to turn out well. Yeah in that case, yeah we’ve all had those moments where we basically say, “Told you.” But at least it’s not rubbing it in consistently even long afterwards to prove how right they are all the time.

I got around that in a way. I figured if I did well then it would be expected of me and I actually had other challenges to deal with so I did not push myself. I also in a way realized too, with my effort to talk to him well, that he would criticize that too. Considering how I watched my mother try so hard and he ALWAYS found some way of faulting her, I tended to figure "what the hell", B's are good enough.

I don't know about you, but my father was the kind of individual that knew everything so he was hard to talk to. He read a lot and no one could tell him anything he did not already know. The only way you "could" talk to him is ask him all about HIM.

My mom used to say, "ugh, your father is so hard to talk to", and I would say, "no, not really, all you have to do is talk to him about him". Then he talks and talks. He tended to preach a lot too.

Yeah, true, that would suck. Can't say I've ever had to deal with someone like that before - consistently. I don't know about you, but when someone like that finally messes up, you don't feel so bad about it, as well, because they've got all the answers, haha.

Unless it's your dad of course which would be different.

Anyway, you're right, it's a tricky one. It's good that you always reach out for feedback. Keep up the good work.

The question is do you have to admit you were wrong? Is this about a specific situation where you were blatantly wrong and cause harm to an arrogant person? Like you F'd up their life and they need to know you were wrong? Are you fair weather friends with an arrogant person? For me, unless I was asked about and gave a bad advice or did something specifically wrong I dont see the need to admit I was wrong to someone like that.

Yep, that is how my dad is too. He believes he knows everything and believes everything he thinks is true.

Yeah exactly. Like you don’t wish anything bad on them but at the same time, they kind of know they are not always above others.