[The Great Forest]

Hello , i have had difficulties with loneliness all my life(18 years) ,but earlier in my life i didnt pay too much attention to this and as a teen (to present) i overcame this(or so i thought) but recently i've found a girl who understands me and i can actually talk to without being disappointed ,but since she's a great person she is pretty busy and when im not talking to her i feel a bit down(not all the time ,only when i feel the need to talk to somebody ) .
I don't know what to say about this ,this doesn't seem too much of a problem(but i decided to ask help since this might be a problem and i'd rather prevent than treat) since i have been a loner all the time since i was young (i had friends but i was feeling much better alone) ,i think this is because of my parents too ,i dont want to blame them because they are honest and tried to raise me as good as they could ,but they neglected my emotional needs as a child so i dont feel like they love me ,even though they do love me.
I want to add one more thing , i dont feel lonely at all ,even when im alone for days without social contact.

[Yaowen]

Dear The Great Forest,

I can definitely relate to what you write about. The life you describe and mine parallel each other in many ways. It is nice that you found a girl who understands you and who you can talk to without being disappointed. Hopefully your relationship will evolve and flourish and will be the best that it can possibly be!

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen

[The Great Forest]

Thank you.But i dont think she sees me that way ,and honestly i dont see her thst way either ,i hope i can mantain this relationship of just being friends for a lot of time .
And i dont think i will ever love someone more than as a friend ,i've convinced myself so.

[Skeezyks]

Hello The Great Forest: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. There's a forum, here on PC, dedicated to the subject of childhood emotional neglect. Here's a link just in case you haven't already found it:

https://psychcentralforums.com/child...ional-neglect/

And then here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on that subject:

Childhood Emotional Neglect: The Fatal Flaw

The 2 Types Of Childhood Emotional Neglect: Active and Passive

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

How Childhood Emotional Neglect Affects Relationships

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-ca...dium=popular17

The other thing you might take a look at is your attachment style. Here are links to 4 articles on that subject as well:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is...-it-important/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...oes-it-matter/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...-style-change/

And then, lastly, here are links to 4 articles that talk about how to maintain a successful relationship:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-step...n-today/?all=1

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...relationships/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/love-...les-counselor/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/love-...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[Open Eyes]

You may also be more of an introvert too. They don't mind being alone, they often find things to keep themselves occupied. This Covid19 isolation isn't as much of a bother to them.

[winter4me]

It sounds like you are ambivalent about being a loner. That you feel a bit down when someone you can talk to (a friend!) is not available speaks to a need for some human contact. You say you struggle with loneliness but also note that you don't feel lonely when actually alone (and probably not having someone you would like to talk with). It is a hard place to be in. Disappointment --- I'd like to hear more about that.
As someone who had parents unable to provide emotional support, I know that I have felt that "If you don't want it, it can't be taken from you, you will not grieve it's absence"
It isn't a good solution but stepping into the feelings that have gone so long unexpressed is a scary, even dangerous, but potentially rewarding experience.

[The Great Forest]

I feel like this started the first time i was really desperate about social contact ..i was on the verge to talk to anyone ,even people i didn't like but at that time i've decided i will walk this path and get over this and become a stronger person.
And about my friend ,i don't feel down for other people it's just her ,because i feel like she gets me.
I feel disappointed only when i let myself down but that happens rarely .
And yes ,im an introvert(INTJ ,if this matters) and i love being myself ,i enjoy every moment of this .But i don't know what to feel about my friend ,should i pay more attention to this relationship or should i maintain my distance?

[Open Eyes]

Well, it's understandable that you would appreciate someone who "gets" you. You will need to decide if you are ok with letting someone in which means you will be giving up a bit of your space. Do you think you can handle that?

[The Great Forest]

I think i can handle it ,i dont see why i wouldn't be able to.
And in my opinion if i think i can do something then I can .

[Open Eyes]

My therapist is an introvert and I really like him a lot. I appreciate the depth he has to him and the careful consideration he gives to everything I share with him.

[The Great Forest]

That's really nice!I've never been to a therapist but he seems a good one Hope everything goes good for you both and your families!!

[Open Eyes]

Yes, I have been doing my sessions via video with him because of Covid19 and the need to socially distance now.
It's not so hard for those who are introverted, they don't mind social distancing at all.

[The Great Forest]

Yes ,i know but i think if a person knows himself this period wouldn't be that bad ,you could actually get to know yourself better.
After i finish with my studies i plan to go to a therapist too ,because it never hurts .But that's a long way ,i still got a year of highschool left and university after that .