Can't talk to my wife

I thought you said your wife had more than one failed marriage.

From you post it sounds like you feel if you teach her then you will create what you want?

@guy1111, yes, it's wonderful to focus on your own personal progress and goals. I am glad that helps you to feel better because if anything, you are growing as a person. However, you are in a partnership and marriage. And the marriage is unhealthy. Your wife also needs to work on herself in order for the marriage to be a happy, fulfilling and healthy partnership for you. As things stand now, it is not that way.

And yes, we can sometimes place our partner on a pedestal. It's important to be realistic and objective about where and how she is falling short. She needs individual therapy, and I hope that somehow that can be accomplished. And if the marriage also has been on a pedestal for you? Sure, all couples have their issues and problems to work out. But the key ingredient is that those problems ARE resolved. So far, you have no resolution. She has taken a couple of steps, which I imagine is encouraging for you, but more work needs to be done, especially on her part.

But we cannot control other people or other people's behavior. They have to WANT to change for the sake and health of the marriage and partnership. Her WANTING to change is what will deliver progress and resolution.

Just out of curiosity guy, what do you like about your wife?