Why would a mother feel the need to control?

Why would a mother feel the need to control there adult kids? Meaning doing house chores etc?

For example it be small things such as put this dead flower from the vase in the rubbish bin, when they were in the room the whole time but called there adult kid to come into the room to do that.
Or they will say the painted walls or fixing a table wasnt enough because it didnt count at this period of time.
Or they want you to do shopping but the one adult kid will say they will do it but the mother will go and ask the other adult kid to do it. Even though the other sibling said will do it?

I will add the husband is hardly at home and mainly working out of the country. But when they do come home he is too put into work to do chores around the house. The husband pretty much only comes twice a year for 2 weeks. I think it's to get away from his own wife.


They all be called names from the husband be called fat buddha to go and do some laundry stuff to making there kid when they were very young to eat a whole container of ice cream because the kid didnt want to eat vegetables for dinner.

I myself have been called names in the past from my haircut looks like a gay polynesian man!

They even say to there kids how "they dont have to get married" and how having "kids is terrible".

Just curious what's going on psychology? Why would a mother want to take there own adult child's time away and be put to do chores all day? Even make them sand the whole house wooden floor down at the age of 8!
Why the odd strange make them do orders to do stuff and stand and watch them do it. Why the need to have there childern do stuff for them? Its really odd.

The question is do you do these things for your mom at her house? Are you required to work like that?

It doesn't matter what's wrong with her. If you are an adult and living in her house and don't like the way you're treated, you should move out. If you can't, you will have to cope with the treatment.

She sounds incredibly rude calling people names and making rude comments. That’s completely unacceptable.

But I think her asking people do chores isn’t necessarily wrong. If adult children reside in parent’s home, I believe they got to go by parental rules or they have to move out. I think it’s expected for them to do chores if they live there. She isn’t a maid.

Are these adult children plan to move out? Since there is more than one adult child, they can all rent a place together perhaps and be room mates

I think it’s about her wanting to feel powerful, and she is not powerful. So she takes it out on her family by demanding extreme chores and power dynamics, calling mean names, too. She’s mean, angry, and must feel very small and unimportant.

Well yeah for example, her brother's wife is staying here with us. And she asked one of the sons if he could up to loft her desk up on some boxes so she can stand and do her work. She said you cna di it after your walk. But the mother said do it now! And she stand there watching him doing it. Making sure he did it.

Also one time rescently one of the sons said if him painting inside the house and fixing the chair was you know enough. The mother said "not at this present time, what have you done recently "

One of the sons told me how when was a child was force to have soap or pepper in his mouth cause he said some thing wrong. The other son was forced to eat a whole container of ice cream because he didnt want to eat his vegetable.