Notice of Death by group text???

DechanDawa · May 21, 2020, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

They can. They aren’t required. They just wouldn’t sit 7 days straight like Orthodox Jews would. But of course they can attend. Especially the day of the funeral. If it’s in the house they shouldn’t bring some pork chops with them lol but they could absolutely come and pay respect. Most certainly they are to attend funeral. Anyone can.

In my 54 years of life and living in two continents and being immersed in different cultures including dealing with interfaith marriages and different denominations of Judaism I’ve never heard of a family excluding someone from a funeral and shiva of their own mother in law regardless of faith. Never. Never happens.

These are some hateful folks. Well they don’t want to be at your wedding. So that’s something. I hate them because they lie about my people’s tradition to arbitrarily exclude someone. Makes us look bad.

Well, I don't know what to say. At the time of our wedding my ex and I were very much in love, had nice friends, and interesting jobs in a large cosmopolitan city. I suppose we lived more or less independently from family. We had friends from all cultures and backgrounds. When NO ONE on either side of our families wanted to attend our wedding it was truly an eye opener.

Looking back I think we were naive. We didn't understand. My Mom was already dead but I think she would have been shocked, too, as she was a very expansive person. It was what it was...a very small, intimate, special wedding among friends. We didn't have much money so one friend did my hair, another made our wedding cake. The best man donated the champagne, and a couple with a garden provided the after party.

DechanDawa · May 21, 2020, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Sometimes it’s hard for people to even think about their own mortality.

My in-laws passed recently, nearly 100 y/o. They had pre-planned and paid for everything. We used to joke that they laid down in their caskets to try them out. It was nice for us as we didn’t have to deal with anything. But no one aside from our immediate family were there. None of their friends were still alive. A few of our friends came, which was nice at least giving us a small group.

I joke that I don’t care where I’m buried because my kids won’t even visit me while I’m alive.

I asked my 23 y/o son what he thought about getting notified about a death of someone he’s close to by text, and he thought that was the normal way and said none of his peers will even answer phone calls. They only want texts! I repeated, “Would you want to learn by text that your parent was dead?” And he reconsidered and agreed that a call would be better, maybe... So that’s how kids think.

Wow, I can't believe your 23 year-old said that. It is a new world.

I was a hospital chaplain and sometimes my department had to track down the family members of people who died. This was before texting (or even carrying phones) was a usual thing. Sometimes someone would be in an accident, alone, bike or car, and would be DOA, that is dead on arrival. Other times it would be someone who went off into the mountains to commit suicide.

Sometimes it would be very difficult to find the right people to notify. It could take hours, or even a few days to track down the family.

I am sure that because everyone has a cell phone now it probably makes it easier. I am certain, though, that the hospital would always call and never text. (Everyone should list those to call in an emergency, on their phones.)

I cannot believe your in-laws lived to such a ripe old age. Bless them!

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Notice of Death by group text???

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