[reasontobe]

my husband of 21 years divorced me to marry his affair partner two weeks after our divorce was finalized. She flaunted their wedding pictures EVERYWHERE on social media with her married last name- my ex-husband's last name. I was shocked and beyond devastation when i came across the pictures. Now the images of the "happy couple" is hunting me and driving me into deep depression. I'm raging and sad and feeling like the biggest loser. I imagine both of them laughing at me and just want to rip off his tux and her wedding dress and set them on fire! Will I ever move on and get over the hunting images in my head? Feeling like death...

[MsLady]

Oy, that's horrible. How did you end up seeing them on social media? I can imagine that would feed into depression. That totally sucks. Big hugs to you!

I do want to point out, they've moved on with their lives and is highly unlikely they're laughing at you at all. Try not to put your head in that direction. There's really nothing to laugh about.

All you can do now is cut them out of all social media accounts and believe in yourself. I'm not sure why your relationship fell apart but sometimes it's less to do with the individual and more to do with the dynamics itself. It just wasn't meant to be .. don't sell yourself short!

Keep your chin up. You'll move forward with someone new, as well (if you haven't already) and will not care about your ex. It just takes time.

Have you considered talking with a therapist about this?

[Open Eyes]

Oh I am so sorry ((((reasontobe)))). Honestly a divorce can be like mourning a death for some people. Do not allow yourself to look at their social media any more. It won’t do you any good and you need to grieve and move on with your life.

((( welcoming hugs from psych central)).

[divine1966]

I am sorry, it sounds brutal.

Yes you can move on and heal. It just takes time.

Now sadly cheaters cheat. So he’d likely cheat on her too, perhaps secretly she’d now know about (and be so sire it’s not happening) or maybe it will come to light like it did in your marriage.

If he was a coward enough to sleep around instead of leaving his marriage if he was that unhappy, he’ll be coward enough to cheat again.

In this case you are actually the winner and they are losers. You dodged the bullet. You can now move on with your life, be free and maybe find a decent person while this woman are stuck with a cheater and forever look over her shoulder and worry where’s he at and who is he with.

Once a cheater always a cheater. So who is laughing now! I know no one is laughing but you are the one who should be laughing because you are free from BS!

Hugs. And yes it will get better. Hold your head high and block these people on social media

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by reasontobe

my husband of 21 years divorced me to marry his affair partner two weeks after our divorce was finalized. She flaunted their wedding pictures EVERYWHERE on social media with her married last name- my ex-husband's last name. I was shocked and beyond devastation when i came across the pictures. Now the images of the "happy couple" is hunting me and driving me into deep depression. I'm raging and sad and feeling like the biggest loser. I imagine both of them laughing at me and just want to rip off his tux and her wedding dress and set them on fire! Will I ever move on and get over the hunting images in my head? Feeling like death...

I'm sorry this happened to you. Something similar happened to me. I punished myself with a deep depression that lasted for several years. Please be good to yourself. You are not a loser. You will move on and you can build a new and fulfilling life for yourself. Take some time to grieve and if you need to, you can seek out counseling to help you -- but there really are better days ahead for you.

[bpcyclist]

I am so sorry, rtb. I have been there. This is not on you. You are not lacking in some way. As Divine so rightly said, cheaters cheat. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It is just a fact. Nothing you could ever do would ever, ever have been enough to keep him from cheating, because that is who he is. This is not on you. Try to work on not judging yourself so negatively and opening to the possibility that he was not the person you have constructed him to be. He is someone else. That, itself, is painfu, BUT, in the long run, it does offer solace and help to healing knowing that your brains's idealized image of him is kind of, well, totally inaccurate, as it sadly turns out. Remember, you aree hardly the first person this has happened to. Happens all teh damn time. Cheaters cheat. It is what they do. They like it. It is fun for them. They especially enjoy successfully deceiving their spouse--it is a rush to lie and get away with it. They like the danger. It is a high.

So, be sad, but really work on the part about judging you. That is a big key here.

He will almost certainly cheat on her when he gets bored again or runs into some other hotter, younger, more dangerous person. Not to worry. You just won the lottery, you just can;t see that yet. But you will. I promise you will.

Sending love and kindness to self.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry Grrrrrrrrrrr

I also think, the key is to work on the brain's not judging of self..

[Cottoncandy7411]

Mine isn’t married yet but the whole Facebook flaunting photos used to drive me insane. Even when I didn’t want to look, I’d look again. I’d imagine all sorts of things in my mind and wish them both the worst thoughts a person can. But it was eating me alive. Slow torture. I found the only way I could regain my control and power over the situation and my thoughts was to block both of them on social media including any and everyone who knew them. As hard as it is, you’ll regain the upper hand in your well being. There is nothing worse than seeing the life you imagined and hoped and dreamed for being lived by someone else while you sit there grieving and hopeless. It’s not hopeless.. take your life back. Instead of thinking of all you lost, try to focus on you will be able to gain when purge them from your life. The hell with them. It can’t hurt you if you stop looking. Plus just think of how awesome you will feel when they realize you blocked them and could care less. (Even if you still do) make a daily to do list and do one little thing for yourself each day. Force yourself to paint a wall, beak something if you must, start a new hobby, get a pet, go for a walk, get a makeover and redo yourself into a whole new person. It took me a long time to move past the anger, hurt, loss and feeling that I was not as good as this woman. That’s the process that a person with a heart goes through. If it helps any, mine ended up trying to come back and regretted it. If he did this to you, he will do it to her. Cheaters don’t change. You deserve more than feeling bad about those pictures. Block them. Take control. Love yourself today.