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Old Aug 03, 2020, 04:41 PM
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So im looking forward in life since everything is starting to go in a favourable way for me but..recently(today) i thought about an old friend of mine ,which i haven't met yet but i remember we used to be very friendly to each other and i've been thinking of texting her but..it was me who said we should stop talking ,but i haven't told her that i just needed to go find myself ,and im pretty embarrased about it ,since before that we had a fight ,and after some time she apologized ,and i said that it was my fault too..And now i just felt like i should text her but i dont know..i think i should let it be something of the past and at the same time im thinking ,maybe i should see how she's doing ,even though its none of my business ,yet i care about her since we used to be friends ,im really conflicted about this.

I think it's worth to mention im a loner and i don't get friendly with just about anyone ,because im a sensitive nature and i know how much i can care about somebody.

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  #2  
Old Aug 03, 2020, 04:50 PM
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It’s nice that you are in a more positive place right now. Perhaps see if you can stay in this positive direction for a while before taking steps to see how this person is doing.
Thanks for this!
The Great Forest
  #3  
Old Aug 03, 2020, 05:07 PM
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The Great Forest The Great Forest is offline
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
It’s nice that you are in a more positive place right now. Perhaps see if you can stay in this positive direction for a while before taking steps to see how this person is doing.
Thanks ,i think it would be wise to do that.
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  #4  
Old Aug 03, 2020, 06:39 PM
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It’s not a bad thing to think about her though. Just keep working at maintaining the positives first.
Thanks for this!
The Great Forest
  #5  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 04:30 AM
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And after a while when i have full control of being like this ,should i text her or go my way?
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Old Aug 04, 2020, 06:11 AM
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There is nothing wrong with texting an old friend to ask how she is doing.
  #7  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 06:12 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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Say you follow your feelings, text her to see how she is (great time during a pandemic to do this), keep it casual and nice and she does not respond or responds badly... Will that send you spiraling down? It’s a nice gesture to reach out and I usually feel there’s no harm in it. But, first think about if there is potentially any harm to you in it. If none, then I always encourage friendship.
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  #8  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 06:50 AM
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I think a bit differently on the issue. When someone tells someone else they should stop talking, to me that ends the relationship or the correspondence between you. That can be very hurtful to the person on the receiving end. Perhaps she didn't want to stop talking, despite the previous fight you had had. I say let sleeping dogs lie. It may stir up old wounds for her. After all, you were the one who ended the relationship. I don't think it's really fair to the go back and try to start things up again as friends.

I had someone do something similar to me. However, she had ghosted me completely. We met on a mental health forum, we wrote emails to each other for two years, but never met. Then she suddenly disappeared without an explanation. I was very hurt by that. Then she just as suddenly reappeared and emailed out of the blue three years later and wanted to pick up the friendship again. I was so hurt by her ghosting me, that I said no. I wasn't interested. I had written several emails asking her where she was and why she stopped writing me. She had never replied and didn't give me an explanation at the time.

While my story is different, I say let it be. Just my two cents!
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  #9  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 06:52 AM
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The Great Forest The Great Forest is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Say you follow your feelings, text her to see how she is (great time during a pandemic to do this), keep it casual and nice and she does not respond or responds badly... Will that send you spiraling down? It’s a nice gesture to reach out and I usually feel there’s no harm in it. But, first think about if there is potentially any harm to you in it. If none, then I always encourage friendship.
The only harm i see is being ignored and that's about it.Also my inner self is also telling me that it isn't such a good ideea but besides that ,i don't see any harm.
  #10  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 06:55 AM
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The Great Forest The Great Forest is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I think a bit differently on the issue. When someone tells someone else they should stop talking, to me that ends the relationship or the correspondence between you. That can be very hurtful to the person on the receiving end. Perhaps she didn't want to stop talking, despite the previous fight you had had. I say let sleeping dogs lie. It may stir up old wounds for her. After all, you were the one who ended the relationship. I don't think it's really fair to the go back and try to start things up again as friends.

I had someone do something similar to me. However, she had ghosted me completely. We met on a mental health forum, we wrote emails to each other for two years, but never met. Then she suddenly disappeared without an explanation. I was very hurt by that. Then she just as suddenly reappeared and emailed out of the blue three years later and wanted to pick up the friendship again. I was so hurt by her ghosting me, that I said no. I wasn't interested. I had written several emails asking her where she was and why she stopped writing me. She had never replied and didn't give me an explanation at the time.

While my story is different, I say let it be. Just my two cents!
I can understand this ,and honestly this is what my inner self told me too ro be honest ,thats why i decided to ask others.When i told her we should stop talking i didnt feel like she would be disappointed and she didnt object to it ,so i dont know how she feels ,but i think you may be right .
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  #11  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 06:59 AM
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Originally Posted by The Great Forest View Post
I can understand this ,and honestly this is what my inner self told me too ro be honest ,thats why i decided to ask others.When i told her we should stop talking i didnt feel like she would be disappointed and she didnt object to it ,so i dont know how she feels ,but i think you may be right .
Yes... you need to think of the situation from her perspective too. She may not like hearing from you now and it may bring up hurtful feelings. I think the thoughtful thing to do is to leave it be. Again, just my own perspective.

I find that when I listen to my gut, it's always right and never steers me wrong.
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  #12  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 07:04 AM
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The Great Forest The Great Forest is offline
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Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Yes... you need to think of the situation from her perspective too. She may not like hearing from you now and it may bring up hurtful feelings. I think the thoughtful thing to do is to leave it be. Again, just my own perspective.

I find that when I listen to my gut, it's always right and never steers me wrong.
My gut is the same so i think i shall let bygones be bygones.Thank you.
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  #13  
Old Aug 04, 2020, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by The Great Forest View Post
My gut is the same so i think i shall let bygones be bygones.Thank you.
Yes I think that is wisest. And you're welcome!
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Thanks for this!
LilyMop
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