confidence to be confident

I have studied a lot of self improvement techniques how to talk to people but anxiety gets in the way when it is someone i fancy

I met the lady in the store today and spoke to her briefly but i was not sure what to say but then she is very distant with me. But someone more confident would be able to deal with it better or maybe she would be distant with everyone. Maybe it is her

Hi lonelyman. It’s hard to know sometimes as you are right in that this woman might be shy too.

I don't know if her shyness affect me or vice versa. If I were more confident would it not make her more open less distant?

There could be many reasons why she was distant and those reasons might have nothing to do with you. Could be anything.

Having said that, it’s a good idea to work on your confidence. Do you by chance see a therapist?

Personally after suffering through too many wackos no matter how nice you are, if you start talking to me at the super market... you're getting the glare of death.

I think it just very hard to strike up conversation in public these days because there have been so many bad experiences.

I think therapist live off people's misery and i won't contribute since i can't make money for me I certainly won't make it for a therapist. I had one briefly from a support group and it was all planned around the therapist and her holidays. If i could not have holiday for me i will not contribute even indirectly to a therapist holidays. In my opinion they just live off misery and should get real jobs.I don't believe in therapy and don't believe it can give one confidence.

She works there and i am often there so i am not a stranger to her..

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyMan She works there and i am often there so i am not a stranger to her..

How so? I would be even more annoyed if I had to be "nice" to a customer because he was a customer.

That is not what I meant

Have you ever joined any social groups where you could meet new people and practice social skills? This has helped me a lot. I have learned a lot by interacting more with others. I’m a quiet and shy, nerdy type. I have a hard time making friends. I’m very sensitive. I keep trying though. I’m learning how to read people better and how to be more self aware. It’s not easy but I encourage you to keep trying. Don’t lose faith in yourself.