My supervisor stopped liking me

He hasn't talked to me in a week. He's becoming just like my former supervisor at Arby's. But I haven't gone in on my days off at this job. Why does he still treat me like a creep? I remember over a week ago, I either been in kitchen or back drive and he was up front. He was still nice to me then. Then one day I said I really want to work with him up front and he's ignored me ever since.

Multiple people said multiple times that I obsess over him. How come other people can have favorites and preferences and they don't get called a creep? I seem to be attracting bad luck bc whenever I'm nice to someone I care about, I'm a creep. I want to be around him whenever possible. Why is that creepy?

Yesterday I called to tell them I'll be late today and they said to just take the day off. He was the one who pushed me away all week and then people tell me I was wrong. Even my job developer says the same thing. I don't wanna be here anymore. What company's hiring?

What you are wishing for would not be appropriate at work.

It would make you have too much closeness with your boss.

The word "creepy" generally involves someone trying to get too close to someone else, to be closer than is appropriate.

Ruby, You’ve been dealing with the same issues for a long time and I thought it’s been already discussed many times. Just do your job. Don’t ask to be near or around your boss. Complete your tasks and go home.

It could be that your boss wants to protect himself. If you suggesting that you want this kind of closeness and he goes along it might cause him problems. He might be distancing himself

Your actions have consequences, these are the consequences of your inappropriate actions and behaviors. You’ve been told multiple time to stop trying to get close to bosses and supervisors. You don’t listen and then get angry at them and say it’s them in the wrong. They are simply reacting to your inappropriate behavior. Ie wanting to get closer. I still suggest a supervised structured work environment not a regular job.

Things I did
1. Always asking when he works and where he’s going
2. Talking to him every chance I get
3. Saying “nice things” to him
4. Being accused of obsessing over him and being a creep
5. Talking about him when he’s not here
6. Outbursts

Only # 3, 4, and 6 happened within the past few months.

The very last day he was nice to me was on Saturday the 8th. I worked back drive all day and he was up front. He was still talking to me then. All I said at the end of my shift was I wanna work with him sometimes, as in next to him. He’s ignored me ever since.

That borders harassment. That could potentially cause you legal troubles. Stop talking about him and saying you want to work next to him.

I have to agree with the others. Every few months you post about the same issue. Every time people tell you that it's not appropriate work behavior and that you need to focus on doing your job, but you don't seem to want to accept this. Instead you try to make it someone else's problem.

I am sure your boss has 100 other things on his plate to worry about rather than who works with him. He has responsibility for making sure the restaurant meets its sales and efficiency targets, budgets, scheduling, hiring, firing, etc. Let him do his job and focus on doing yours to the best of your ability so your team operates smoothly. You're at work to work, not make friends.


I know you face some challenges, on the spectrum, maybe? but I think if you don't address this issue (on your own and with whatever support professionals you have), you are going to continue to have this problem of inappropriate behavior and could risk losing your job. You say you maybe should look for another job, but I get the feeling that if you don't change your behavior, you are going to have the same issues wherever you go. I really hope you can work on this.

He ignored me once before last September but it wasnÂ’t for a whole week. Back then he said itÂ’s cuz IÂ’m a creep and obsess over him. I wonder whatÂ’s the reason this time since I donÂ’t think me wanting to work next to him warrants ignoring me for a whole week

Ruby, perhaps his "ignoring" you is self protection on his part. You said you obsess about him and asked to work next to him. He quite likely feels he needs to distance himself from you to avoid allegations of improper behavior.

I am going to repeat what others said. Every few weeks/months you post about the same problem. Learn from what's happened and make different choices. As others said, work is work. It's not for socializing.

Your list is almost entirely inappropriate in a work setting.

Ruby, you are about to have a repeat of being accused of stalking behavior and have to terminate your employment if you don't stop repeating this behavior.

We will once again warn you, you will once again blame others and not really seem to understand how a person should be acting at work, and once again you will have to leave another workplace.

I don't ever go in on my days off. I thought that would be enough. How does me telling him I wanna work next to him warrants him ignoring me for so long?

It’s inappropriate and intrusive. He is your boss. You want too much closeness so he must distance himself. In addition you aren’t friends or lovers and he doesn’t need to pay you any attention at work. Just do your job and try to stop worrying about him. Talk to your therapist and case worker

Two of my coworkers have a favorite person to work with. How come nobody calls them a creep or accuse them of obsessing? One of these coworkers actually said, “I think you’re my favorite.” The other person replied she appreciates it. How come when I have a favorite, I’m a creep?

Also, how come my supervisor talks to everyone else? How come he jokes around with them? He used to treat me like everyone else but now he treats me worse.

It seems like he started ignoring you after you started saying things. Stop worrying why he doesn’t ignore other people. You can also ask general manager about being treated certain way or ask your case manager to interfere.

How come when other people have favorites, they're not a creep? How come when I have a favorite, I'm a creep? We all have favorited and preferences. Back at Arby's, the GM there was also my favorite and it ended badly. Also, the GM at my current job is also my favorite and it somehow made him ignore me. Yet, 2 of my current coworkers have a favorite and it's appreciated by the said favorite. Why can't I get the same result?

I wish I'm anyone but me so that ppl will actually stick around and not turn on me. He doesn't ignore other people.

What companies are hiring? I really need to change jobs and quit my current one. It’s not like my supervisor even likes me anymore.

Perhaps you are overdoing it.

What if you speak with him about it, and share with us what he says?

I agree with bill, you can speak to him and perhaps share that people with ASD sometimes having some issues relating to others and that you mean no harm when you say things like that.

Who is hiring? Everyone. Retail and fast food are hiring all the time any time. Everyone is in dire need of workers right now.

I will prolly remind him that someone already hurt me bc I looked up to her and to please don’t become like her.

Was it bad to tell him I wanna work next to him physically? I really do wanna be around him whenever possible so I was basically telling the truth. Besides, I thought it was a nice comment.

Possibly he felt like you were getting too close if you used the word "physically" or gave the impression that you like to be physically close to him.

In general, in my experience, it isn't necessary or fitting to compliment a boss. If a boss helps you out, you can say thanks for your help.

Sometimes we need to keep truths to ourselves because saying them, or acting on them, would not be appropriate.

It is good to ask oneself before speaking or acting: Will this be appropriate in this situation?

Good work!

No it’s not a nice comment that you want to be physically close to people you aren’t related or in a relationship with. Saying what you think or feel isn’t always appropriate in a work environment.

Do not tell him about old supervisor. Focus on your current behavior

Ruby, no one likes to be smothered. People have boundaries. He is avoiding you or acting like he doesn't like you because you keep crossing the boundaries of what is appropriate for a work relationship with a supervisor. I get that, for you, you just like being around him because he's nice and makes you feel good, in general. But what has happened is that you are smothering him, and that does come off as creepy. Hardly anyone wants one specific person around them ALL the time. And yet that's what you're trying to do to him. You need to keep working with your case worker and therapist on managing these obsessions and urges and maintaining healthy boundaries with your co-workers and supervisors.

Your former GM did not hurt you, you stalked her and she had to take actions to protect herself. Stop living to yourself and others about the situation. It’s your behavior that needs to change. Don’t talk to him. Leave him alone and do your job.

Many people have taken the time to give you good advice about appropriate work boundaries and behavior. However, you keep asking if your behavior is okay when everyone is saying it is not. Are you hoping someone will tell you it is acceptable to act the way you do to your manager? I really hope you pay attention to the advice you are receiving, focus on doing your job and work with your therapist or caseworker to learn to manage your behavior better.

I’m sorry you’re struggling, ruby2011. I wonder why you liked him so much? Is it a crush?

do you work in the front sometimes? Or would that be a new position for you?

When you told him that you wanted to work the front next to him, did you tell him why?