[gloria]

My 5 year old finally confesed, after about 3 or 4 months, that she dialed 911 when she was scared and thought her 4 year old brother was scared too while daddy was giving him a haircut. Here is the story:

when my h gave a haircut to my 4 year old boy, my h locked the bathroom's door and our two other girls and I were left out to hear him cry, and hear the spankings.... his cry was not a brat cry, he was hurting and he was scared. My two girls came to me scared, I told them that as soon as daddy got done we would give him lots of loving, and hugs, and kisses, and would make him feel good.

Anyway, at some point my h opened the door. I saw my boy naked in the bathtub, covered with tears and hair. He said his haircutting machine was not working properly, he was going to walmart to buy a new one and the boy was not to leave the bathtub.

Once he left, the girls and I came in the bathroom. We hugged him, sang songs with him, gave him candy. While doing all that, I grab the sissors and cut as much hair as I could so when hubby came, there wasn't much left to cut. I even used my h's machine. My boy was fine with me cutting his hair. And I think we did a good job comforting him.

Once he came back, while he was finishing his job the phone rang. It was the 911 operator. She said somebody called from our home and was checking if everything was OK, all that she could hear was little kid's voices (my two girls). the police came anyway and I had to explain to them everything was ok.

My h chew the girls buts for doing it. He said 911 wasn't a number to play with, and if they kept on dialing, then the police would quit coming and if they ever truly needed the help the police would no longer believe them.

He thought it was just kids being funny or curious, but now that I know the true, I wonder if I should tell him, Or not. I fear his reaction and that he'll fight for the kids if we do proceed with the divorce.

gab

[mj14]

gloria, it sounds like it's probably more like to have a bad outcome than a good one if you tell him the truth. You have to follow your own instincts, but I would probably try to let the incident drop. You are working on getting the kids away from him, which is the best thing you can do right now.

*hugs*
Jo

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

[gloria]

I know, but I thought that, maybe, fi he knew the truth, he would think a little about what he is doing to them. That's all.

Sometimes I think he is not aware of what he does.

gab

[shakes]

Gloria,
That is possible...or on the other flip side it could only make things worse. By you telling him this he could come back to you and said "I know what I am doing. Don't tell me how to raise my kids."
However, maybe this is something you could bring up in counseling when you two go? The safe enviroment could make all the difference.

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

[gloria]

Talking about t, he already used it this weekend against me. He had one of his "angry moments" and to seal the moment he said "And don't forget to bring this to therapy". What a smart a...

Any way, latter on he apologized.

gab

[shakes]

Gloria,
That kind of behavior is what worries me. It is really crappy of him to bring up stuff said in therapy to get at you. If he really wanted your marriage to work and things to change he would not do these things. I really think that he knows what he is doing..he is just mean.

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

[gloria]

I think we are playing a stupid game. I somewhere inside of me believe he wants a divorce just as bad as I do. But he wants me to be the one asking for it, and I want him to be the one asking for it.

I am praying so much so that this happens during a therapy session where it turns out to be a common agreement. I am praying for it because that would be the safest way for all of us. But who knows... he is very smart and outsmarts me most of the time.

gab

[Sesquix]

Hi Gab,
I would recommend keeping a journal of incidents like these in the event that you have to go to court to get custody of your kids. Even though the police didn't intervene, they were called because someone was scared enough and thought they were needed. What he did to your son shows he has no empathy. I know it can be very hard to make kids sit still and when my toddler won't sit still or I can talk him into it, I just try another day and it works. After an incident like this do you really think T will work and teach your H respect through love instead of fear?
big hug
Sesquix