I seem to attract narcissists but there is 1 I need to keep

I came from a difficult n traumatic childhood raised by a narcissist and I don't hate from my troubled start but rather sympathize n partially understand narcissists. I sympathize with anyone especially the troubled as I have my own story too but every relationship wit any substance is always a narcissist n I believe I convinced myself my love can change them with understanding and unconditional love but there is conditions wit abuse n now there is a type of narcissist I haven't seen n want to help and keep. He may be the very same as others but different with me and then cuts me off completely n in a month or few calls me again.. Spend few days or weeks of bliss n with no warning cuts me off..I can't take it yet I'm desperate to figure him out to help him understand what I see n hopes he awakens and we build something together more permenant, I am not sure it's possible but I feel this connection the very second I layed eyes on this man n there is nothing special in a norm but he everything in my eyes n idk why but when he cuts me off I've gotten desperate to still somehow be around they an unrelated family member who is also a narcissist but the scariest kind almost like I'm subjecting myself to dangerous situations in desperate attempt to get his attention back.. Not good n I need an understanding as to what is happening that I have absolutely no control of n possibly misinterpreting as a soulmate yet it's interpreted to how he draws me toward him n makes me feel like I'm stuck on stupid and as much as I hate this unknown, I put myself in positions I normally wouldn't just to feel closer to this individual n want nothing more than to help him understand why he is the way he is n help him break this cycle that may leave him lonely in the end..I'm confused as to what I'm even saying to try and explain what I cannot explain because I have never experienced such odd emotion and magnetized attraction

Hello and welcome to Psych Central!

I'm sorry you find yourself in a predicament.

I'm wondering: have you ever heard of the term, codependency? This is what I believe is happening in your relationship. You seem to be codependent with this narcissist. You are willing to put yourself in harm's way in order to help "fix" them and "heal" them. That is the definition of codependency. The problem is you are harming yourself, and that is no good. Also, please know that a narcissist rarely will admit to being a narcissist. They are often the most difficult patient to treat in therapy because they can do no wrong and they see everyone else as having a problem, not themselves.

So you are harming yourself and you are wasting your precious energy and heart on someone who does not believe they need fixing, and most likely, doesn't even want it.

I would get yourself some professional help to help you through this. I suggest talking to a therapist who can help you to understand this complex dynamic further - and to help you understand that your own actions are in fact, hurting you even more.

How old are you and how old is this guy?

Hi and welcome to pc

Feel free to post as much as you need or want to (and also do not feel obliged to answer any questions you may not want to)

Narcissistic behavior disorder is very difficult to treat, even by a professional. That is why I do NOT recommend trying to fix your fiend by yourself.. Even then there. Is no guarantee. Talk to your therapist, and do some research on line. Sorry I can’t be more supportive.

I'll keep it brief for you. Narcissists are interested in your admiration and gratitude. They stick with you because they benefit from having the upper hand over others. They love winning. They don’t care about you because they don’t know how to care. I’m one of them and I give you my honest thoughts. Run before you get hurt.

This is exactly what a narcissist may want to hear, but I give you a lot of credit for your honesty and for your ownership.

Every girl loves a bad boy.

I give you a lot of credit for your ownership and honesty.