Emotionally hardened in a good way?

When it comes to opening up and socializing good things are happening, I’m learning a lot. Anyway, long story short, the unfortunate past of mine shaped up my personality in a way I’m not quite sure is good or bad.

Let’s say something bad happens, you got fired, your relationship ended, or someone died. I say “sh…t happens”. I’m going to find the best way to deal with the situation when it comes to “what’s next? what do we do, literally?”, but I’m not going to feel bad, sorry or depressed. S… t happens. Moving on. Period. I think it's because I don't care anymore, life was pretty harsh to me and things don't bother me no more.

Sometimes I think it’s not so bad after all. I remain focused when things go bad and that gives me the ability to be the strong one and to fight back or to do whatever is neccesary. Seems like a person like me might have been a great help to some people... and to myself. For instance, I’ve never been cheated on but something deep down inside tells me that it would be possible for me to deal with such situation without too much drama. But again, I may be wrong on this one since I’ve never been there.

I’m really into your thoughts. Honestly every word is priceless to me since I learn a lot and I don’t feel like discussing issues like that with people I know personally.

I totally hear you and I can very much relate

I think you are talking about resilience and a degree of stoicism, which I could relate to. I helped a lot of people in life because I don’t crumble under hardships and generally stay stoic when they fall apart. I can be there for people when they can’t manage themselves. I locate resources and help people under duress because I keep it together.

I don’t think it’s having hardened emotions as much as ability to stay logical and remain rational and having strength to withstand storms. I come from a long line of resilient people who survived pogroms and Holocaust so I guess staying tough is the way to be. There’s no other way. We’d not be here if we moped and fell apart. I also think having ability to put things in perspective is helpful.

I also believe in action versus inaction. Sure you can lay in bed all day and cry that you can’t pay your bills. Or you can go get a job or look for other options of resources. Sure first option might be easier because someone else will come along and feed your dog or some charity will pay your bill. Someone will take care of you. Option two requires you to stop crying, getting out of bed and taking care of yourself, which is actually harder. But depending on others (unnecessarily) is not the way to live

It doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotions, it just means I don’t mope and don’t give up and it makes me resource for others irl.

Based on my life experience it’s an asset. I think your ability to stand strong and not fall apart is an asset. I hope others can see it in you

Everybody's lives has problems in them, even governors and pastors face problems. The best thing to do is dust yourself off, get up and continue jogging on.