[The Great Forest]

So recently ,i've come to the realisation that nobody ever truly cared for me (except one person which then betrayed me after a while) and i've been wondering ,how can this affect me ,and maybe my inner child ?
And before anyone says , no ,my parents don't/didn't love me .The only reason they've made me is so that they have somebody to carry their name on and because of their beliefs ,not out of love and i thought about this for the past 5 years(im 19 now) ,it hurts knowing not even the people who are supposed to love you don't.I feel like a stranger in this vast world ,i feel lost(which is normal) and yesterday i had a hard day and i feel like i lost a part of myself.

[sarahsweets]

I dont doubt how you feel. In fact I believe not feeling love or having love demonstrated or reciprocated to be more harmful than just suspecting someone did not love you,

[Crazy Hitch]

I hear what you are saying. I truly believe some parents aren't fit to have children.

In my own personal life, though, through speaking to my psychologist and going through intensive counselling, I have learned that some of my thinking at times can be off and the way that I perceive things is not what they actually are.

I can't say in your case because I don't know everything you're going through / have been through. But a trained professional in psychotherapy can help you navigate your feelings if what you say is true.

[The Great Forest]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I dont doubt how you feel. In fact I believe not feeling love or having love demonstrated or reciprocated to be more harmful than just suspecting someone did not love you,

If you could explain ,in which way would you find it harmful .I'll elaborate a bit as to why i felt like this is a problem with a short story of mine.As a kid i always felt that some kids had something i didn't have ,but at that time it didnt hit me that it was love ,and it didnt hit me until much later in life ,in about first year of highschool i found somebody which had told me she loves me and at first i didnt know how to react but i agreed and in about 3 days i understood what love is ,and how it feels but after the relationship ended i realised it was the first time i experienced any kind of love .At that point i was very depressed as i still loved this person for 2 years after the break up..But i also realised i dont love my parents all that much ,im thankfull for their help and what they do for me but at the same time they have to at least do that much if they brought me in this world ,its their responsability(until a certain point).
Im also motivated to change this ,and i will go to psychotherapy as soon as i can.