I'm done - thanks

So you would rather be the bully then be bullied.

I've been bullied for years. It's time to turn over the table. The only difference is I don't bully weak, harmless people. I bully overconfident ***** who think they own the world because of how cool they are.

That's a lot of anger, only time for that and no love or closeness with others. It can be lonely at the top and next thing you know YOU are the very kind of person you hate, "the bad guy". And it's just too black and white as you don't even know the things a person had to overcome to get whatever they have.

If you focus on the things that are not present in another person and just deem them "bad" you are only seeing things in black and white when there definitely is much more than that.

These individuals that bullied you were still young and shallow and lacking in the ability to see others in a way that can appreciate the other person instead of standing in judgement of. Sadly, much of that is learned behavior often from what someone sees in a parent.

Sadly, narcissistic individuals tend to always look for the fault in others instead of having the ability to understand that what they consider a fault simply may be something another person genuinely lacks and has been working on trying to overcome or just working around whatever their lack may be.

What I felt was so sad about what the individual shared with me that was an admitted malignant narcissist was how he literally carried that hurt child in him ALWAYS looking to give that child all the power.

What I find sad about individuals that are narcissistic is how nothing ever seems to be good enough for them. That's what saddened me about my father who had a lot of narcissistic traits. It saddened me to watch how my mother paid for that all her life too. My mother paid for the fact that my father's mother abandoned her own children. It was during a time where if abuse was so bad there was no help and some women literally ran away. I learned my father's father was a mean alcoholic. At times my father was too black and white and we all suffered for it. I loved him, but at the same time there were things he could not see that hurt me.

So, you have decided to protect that part of you that was hurt and punish anyone you think is the kind of person that caused that injury to happen?

Wrong. I'm an observant. I don't do anything untill I gather my "intel". I listen very carefully to what the person says and I watch closely what the person does. When I see signs of what I hate, I label that individual as "the target".

You're right, there is no love. But that's not something new. When I was on my back in the deepest hole in the world the only person who "helped" me was my mum. She said: "It is what it is, ignore them (bullies), don't be so sensitive". And that was it. She is the only person who did something (kicking me in the face). Enough of sob stories.

However, don't blame me for my way of thinking. I don't believe in love. I believe in power of revenge though. And yeah, I'm not so sensitive anymore

For the record, the signs are:

- speaking about one's sexual adventures as if the person was collecting throphies

- making fun of disabled, weak people,

- bragging about how powerful one is,

- speaking about one's partner/family with no respect,

... I don't have a list. There is more but you get the point.

Oh, look, my kind of thread Used to be at any rate.

Kind of agree, feelings can s*ck, as my most recent run-in with panic attacks prove.

You can change though, I am certain. I changed. My situation was less sustainable than yours though, I had some rather intense dark urges and I in no way would go back to that, panic attacks or no. At least now I can live. I might need help (remains to be seen), but this is more sustainable if also more painful. Note my feelings are more of a side-effect of my self-therapy. Not sure they were a goal at the beginning. Mind you, they do add flavour to life and I am looking forward to exploring the positive aspects. I hope I can manage to do so without falling apart..

SO, entirely up to you which path to walk upon, imho...

He can, rest assured, but it may not be very likely, because it is one hell of road and he may not have much if any motivation to walk it.

Well, just so you know usually when someone brags about conquests all they are good at is typically manipulating yet when it comes to performance they are just plain miserable and sexually selfish. This can be male or female.

Making fun of disabled or weak people tends to stem from the feeling of awkwardness and not being able to feel it's fixable or useful. Again, tends to be short sighted and a feeling of discomfort and inability to see beyond these challenges and focus on the strengths in someone despite these challenges.

Bragging typically reflects how someone has to be appreciated in order to feel important.

It's often reflecting a need to feel entitled and be serviced the way that person requires of others. If one is not serviced the way they desire then the other person is deemed bad, failure, inadequate, disrespectful and things went wrong because of the other person's failure.

Thank you. I'm aware of those dynamics. That's why I know how to hit them where it hurts.

Idk MisterPaul, I fear that when you get older you will look at things differently than you do now. You are still so fresh from the hurts caused by your piers that did not have the ability to understand a lot of things and that age group tends to be on the insecure narcissistic side.

Can you tell me what is it I don't understand?

I have this strange feeling that you’re trying to make your point by saying „you’re young and you’re stupid”. If that’s the case then you have to know that I thought about it many times and I actually tried to open up to people (many of my threads prove it). And, as of now, I am 100% sure it doesn’t work for me at all, so… I just do what works for me and act accordingly.

No, feelings are not facts MisterPaul, I am not saying you are stupid at all. I understand what you are saying and the core is targeting a certain type of individual that acts like the individuals who hurt you so you can teach them how it feels. Unfortunately, often that only makes the person even worse. Often it results in a "see I knew that person was bad and that I needed to keep them down and controlled".

Most bullies are hiding some kind of deep inadequacy. Often it's something they learned at home. Often it is created from lack of attention or even being bullied by a parent or even copying a parent that is a bully.

If you're 100% sure that opening up to other human beings doesn't work for you, then you will with 100% certainty have a difficult and lonely life.

I say that without any pleasure at all.

Remember, a disorder is called a disorder because it is dysfunctional / unhealthy / has a morbid effect on the psyche.

Crucially, it can't be sustained long-term.

I'm saying this because you seem to believe you can choose to be furious forever, and nothing bad will happen; that it's a reasonable life choice.

Addicts are asked: Does this (my behaviour / way of thinking) have a negative impact on my life? It's extremely difficult to admit that it does! I was anorexic for years, and in denial, so I speak from experience. To us older hands, your posturing looks like denial, if you see what I mean.

Why would you want to spend your whole life - at best - angry and numb, or - at worst - crashing and burning?

Here's the plot twist: currently I'm doing better than a majority of my friends who actually do have people around them. Shaping up, taking care of my health, chasing career and being highly-skilled in what I do, making good money, dealing with hard times like a champ etc.

Yes, it's true it's much harder alone. When I fell, there is nobody to pick me up - sure. Is it bad though?

You know, they say the navy seals training is a living hell, but then these people end up being the toughest fighters in the world, right? Many people say that the main goal in life is to become the best version of oneself.

It's good that you are working on your self improvement and developing skills in whatever you do that is proving to be profitable (as long as it's legal).

The thing about these bully type individuals that you will learn is they are not as powerful as you might believe them to be. When we are young we don't see that because they tend to create fear in others who seem to want to be accepted. Eventually, you will see them in a different light and get bored with them.

What is interesting in what you and this other individual shared with me is that neither of you cared to target someone you knew would be easy to hurt. It had to be a certain type of individual. That took precedent over love too.

Yeah, we are narcissists, not psychopaths. We have values for God's sake

Nice to see you have a sense of humor MisterPaul.