My wife has left me I'm so lost

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Originally Posted by Mtrman She cheated didn't have another kid though the kids are mine and they stayed with me and I don't know what she's willing or not willing to do right now I've never seen her like this her bp episodes are usually spaced out once or twice a year it seems like she bouncing back and forth through episodes over a matter of days she's depressed and angry one day and bouncing off the walls the next I need to get her help but this other guy is blocking my every attempt I'm afraid if it goes on to long there will be nothing anyone can do

Wait she left her kids ?? Don’t get me wrong I’m sure you’re a capable father it’s just so unusual to have a mother or any parent for that matter to just leave the children. You don’t need to get her help. I can appreciate that you want to, that you feel responsible to do it, and you are used to cleaning up her messes. You can’t do it this time. She has clearly demonstrated she has no regard for the sanctity of your relationship.

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Originally Posted by Mtrman I'm not saying it's just bipolar I think this guy just got to her at a vulnerable point she has been depressed for a couple months he told her he had training in helping those suffering from depression so she talked to him while I was working I didn't know until after when I found their messages he eventually told her he had feelings for her kicker is he has training as a 911 dispatcher

I hate to say it, but vulnerable or not this guy didn’t “get “ to her. She let him in.

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People just leavetheir children everyday. I'm sorry to say there's nothing at all unusual about it. I'm retiring after 20 years as a CASA. I worked many cases of child abandonment. They don't get them back, either. They'll get visitation if their home is safe and healthy but few want them back.
I know foster parents get bad press sometimes, but they are the angels who come down and scoop them up, carry them to a safe place, and give them a loving home.

Yeah sadly people dump their kids all the time. Both men and women. And there are many who don’t even visit their kids after dumping them on others.. Whole bunch of kids are raised by other relatives with both parents being absentees and many are raised by one parent while the other one is pursuing who knows what in life. Sad

OP, you are so totally in a codependent relationship with her. Please get a therapist ASAP. Your need to fix her (what you call "helping") is interfering with you taking care of the business of divorce. You should be driving this train and you are allowing her to. Get an attorney tomorrow and file. She needs to be paying the required amount of support for these kids while she isn't living in the home and also after divorce.

Get in the driver's seat here. Get therapy so you can repair yourself and not attract another broken person. She is most definitely broken.

Crazy World these days!
Move on… Your life would be better.