[cinnamonsun]

I don't know if this is looking for advice, so much as...it just amazes me sometimes. I ended friendships with people who were unhealthy for me. They post things about people walking out of their lives, letting them go because they didn't appreciate them. And so on. Knowing I will probably see it.

And these people took advantage of me, were fake to me, backstabbed me, and actually treated me really horrible and let me down in a devastating way. But they are out there acting like they are the victim. I just sit here like...I hope someday people will know the truth. I had gone out of my way for them. Spent a lot of money on them. Helping them as much as possible. They defended and supported someone who literally abused me mentally and emotionally to the point I'm still dealing with medical problems and mental health problems but they see no error or wrong in what they've done. They didn't even want to hear my side of it. When I tried to show them conversations the one just said, "I don't see how this is toxic, there is no real context." And I showed others who saw it immediately and were like WOW oh my god. They just wanted me to do more things for them. I mean the lead message was "I hope you're doing okay..." Then "By the way, do you do this because I need..."

But I am a horrible person because I didn't appreciate them and walked away? Do people really not understand that doing this, to anyone, not even just me, is not okay? I have given up on expecting any justice or whatever for me or anyone in these situations. They are what they are. I get continuously bullied and blasted all the time by people in the past who claimed to love me and care about me, and have learned to mostly shrug it off and not react. I have to always pretend this isn't happening.

Some people don't seem to understand, they are the reason that their friend has walked away. No one ever wants to be accountable.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Block them on social media so you do not see their posts. Since they are not in your life, make a full break. You honestly can't expect them to do any differently; after all, you ended those relationships probably for just this kind of behavior.

[cinnamonsun]

They actually blocked me. All of them. Which is fine, I was actually celebrating this the other night. lol But. People will repost their posts so it's impossible for me not to see them without blocking those people. I don't feel the reposters have anything against me but find it relatable so they repost. I wish there was a way to never see anything these people post, but unfortunately, on this site, it's not possible. I have to deal with seeing their passive aggression.

I am doing, mentally, much better since these people are gone from my life. The chronic medical symptoms I was having and saw doctors about are suddenly improving and going away. My energy levels are rising. And I'm not so miserable and depressed. I know and feel I made the right choice. I never realized how much friendships, even unhealthy ones, can really impact your life, health, and mental health. That saying about being in the "wrong crowd" or that, who you surround yourself with really matters, means a lot more to me these days.

[poshgirl]

Cinnamonsun

A rhetorical question here. Which is better, a small group of sincere friends or a large group who don't care about you, only pretend to?

We can often fall into the trap of wanting lots of friends so leave ourselves open to the kind of behaviour you've experienced. Please be aware that I'm not blaming you. Humans are social beings and in most cases, need interaction with other humans. Sadly, we often don't have the life experience to apply a filter.

You are not a horrible person. You're just implementing what many are too scared to do, so remain in so-called friendships that are toxic. I agree with other posters, block them. Move on. Yes, you will question your actions at first even with a touch of guilt. Over time, their behaviour will take less space in your thoughts.

[cinnamonsun]

Originally Posted by poshgirl

Cinnamonsun

A rhetorical question here. Which is better, a small group of sincere friends or a large group who don't care about you, only pretend to?

We can often fall into the trap of wanting lots of friends so leave ourselves open to the kind of behaviour you've experienced. Please be aware that I'm not blaming you. Humans are social beings and in most cases, need interaction with other humans. Sadly, we often don't have the life experience to apply a filter.

You are not a horrible person. You're just implementing what many are too scared to do, so remain in so-called friendships that are toxic. I agree with other posters, block them. Move on. Yes, you will question your actions at first even with a touch of guilt. Over time, their behaviour will take less space in your thoughts.

Yes, this is the lesson I learned from this experience. I'm much more selective these days about people I let close to me. I've decided I won't even look for support in people on this website. I have a therapist and this community if I encounter problems and need someone to talk to. After my confidential conversations were shared with others, I don't trust anyone on there. Even if they seem like a decent person. I never know if what I share and seek for support will get back to people who want to bully, harass or abuse me.

I would rather have a small group of genuine real friends. There was a time recently where I said I'd rather be alone then surrounded by fake friends. I've also learned how to support and nurture myself more. So despite the bad experience, good things came out of it that I am thankful for.