[Jessii]

We have started couples counseling.

Our counceller says I need to be more laid back to my other hlafs behaviour. To accept him as he is. I feel so ****. I thought I could say what I feel and what I need and be heard and understood but the counceller seems to be taking his side.

I feel my anxiety sky rockets with my other halfs behaviour of blaming me for a lot of things yet I have to accept it. It's ****. I feel my perception of my own reality isn't real. As if how I see and feel things is wrong and how's others see it (my partner) is right. As if my needs aren't valid.i actually feel like I'm going insane

[Molinit]

How many sessions have you had? If you just started, I'd give it at least 3 months to decide if this therapist is a good fit. As I recall you have a lot of anxiety about your relationship (at least 1 post mentioned checking devices for evidence without being given reason to), but I also have seen posts where you are clearly describing emotionally abusive behavior toward you from him.

I don't know how couples counseling can be successful with an emotionally abusive person. If you are stuck financially, you may end up having to create a life with your family outside of his involvement and disengage from dealing with him on anything but a necessary level.

To me from reading your past posts, it sounds like the relationship is too bad to fix but that's just me.

[Fuzzybear]

[moodyblue83]

Couples counseling should be a place where you should be able to speak openly and honestly. It can be very raw and emotional. The therapist is supposed to be neutral and unbiased. If you feel already like he’s taking sides I’d find another therapist. I would probably be able to detect a bias in the counselor after the first session. Couple’s therapy can be hard though , and sometimes we may have to listen to some hard truths and stuff that’s going to hurt. Most of the time the “ other “ side doesn’t even feel they should be there as you are the cause of all the problems. They are perfect. It’s rough. Maybe you should just go to individual therapy first and learn ways to get stronger mentally. Cause in the end it’s going to come down to you , and you alone anyway.