[T183]

How I feel!

This is me.... my life the last 2 years. Meet a girl, fall madly in love. Hangout together a few hundred times, shopping. casinos, movies, restaurants. Drooping food off at her door during the pandemic, Painting together, getting drunk... Going over seas, staying in hotels, renting cabins. Talking everyday morning to night, being there for her. Making sure she always had groceries, gas, money. Hearing her say she loves me.

Finding your best friend........ Making out once but not sleeping with her, even though she sleeps with tons of people. Spending a few hundred thousand. Getting in a fight, asking her if she was just using me, getting ghosted.

Feeling gross and unattractive, confused.... Having no closure.

Being sorry I lost my best friend.

[What_the_hell]

I hear you, trust me, I've been there!! The truth is though, that we CHOOSE to invest our time , attention , energy into someone. Another person doesn't really owe us anything - unless you guys discussed things and decided to commit to each other. From your post it sounds like the girl never told you she was in love or wanted a romatic relationship. Forgive me if I misinterpret this. But sounds like you were falling in love, doing a lot of things for her but never actually talked to her about what she wants (from you or with you) or how she sees your connection. It feels really nice to be loved and cared for; I wouldn't blame the girl for enjoying your attention. I'd suggest to empower yourself by owning your feelings towards her, taking pride in being a caring person that you are and finding someone who will appreciate it <3

[divine1966]

Hhmm doesn’t sound much of a friend. You financially supported her (hundreds of thousands of dollars??? Say what….) while she slept with other men (are you romantically into her?) and then she just ghosted you.

Now having said that, you can’t control other people or get answers why people do what they do. You can only control yourself. I’d get to the bottom of what makes you want to spend exuberant amount of money on other people? I suggest therapy

[moodyblue83]

No offense but your post seems like a rambling rant that doesn’t make
much sense. So your surprised that you spent all this time , money , and
energy on somebody who sleeps around and then ghosts you ? And
your worried about losing your “ best friend “ ? I just hope you learned
a life lesson from this one. TRUST NO ONE ! We want to believe things
that aren’t true even when the evidence is staring at us right in the face.
Your born alone and you’ll die alone. Everything in between is up for debate.

[Rive.]

Why would you spend a few hundred thousand on her if you weren't even exclusive?!

As for feeling sorry you lost your best friend, again not much of a best friend who would go and make out with your girl.

Maybe be more discerning with your choice of intimate partners, be it friends or romantic.

[T183]

Thank you all for your comments, I likely need therapy. I appreciate the support.

That a was just a rant, I'm not a person who is able to be open with my friends or family. I don't like telling people personal things about me, but i wanted to say something so I figured anonymously here might help me.

Its a very very weird story. Oh man, almost book worth.

I tear up everyday, when I laugh especially.

[T183]

I know I messed up.