Ghosted by my sister when I'm very sick.

Almost 2 weeks ago, I went to the hospital extremely sick (septic) with an intestinal infection. I was in close touch with my two sisters who live thousands of miles away, and they seemed very concerned. One of them hasn't contacted me in 11 days, which is beyond odd.

She tends to be emotionally volatile and has anger issues. I thought we were getting along great and have no idea why she would "ghost" me right now, especially given that I was so terribly sick.

Over a week ago, I texted her to call when she had time to chat. I might have to go back in for surgery, and I had some things to ask her because her daughter recently had a related surgery. Nothing.

She is the baby of the family, and we've all always made excuses for her. But this cold-shoulder that she's doing to me now has me really disgusted. Whenever she has had a crisis, I've been there for her. I'm talking about real support, sometimes to the tune of a good amount of financial help. Long ago my parents (who are deceased) told me that I was underestimating how selfish she is. This really takes the cake.

11 days ago, I asked her to call me. No response. I'm leaving the ball in her court. I was just almost going to text her: "Eff u too." But I won't lower myself to that. I really can't even take this personally. She has weird anger issues. When drinking, she's been put in handcuffs a time or two or three. I feel bad for her that she's this unbalanced.

Back in 2009, I called her from the emergency room to say I had gotten awful sick. She answered drunk. I could tell she was at a bar. She got mad at me and said she had enough problems of her own and hung up. Over the years, she has called me at times when she was drinking and said, "I love you so much."

I have another sister who has kept in touch like a normal person.

How could I know someone for so many years and be completely blindsided by this person just turning on me? Like I said, I can't even say I'm really that hurt. I don't think this is even about me.

When my father was in the nursing home at the end of his life, I flew out to see him. He broke down crying, saying this sister hadn't been visiting him. I guess she's got a cruel streak. Nobody in the family treated her cruel. I guess, deep inside, humans have their mysteries.

The last time I did talk with her, she told me her mother-in-law had just died. She said she wasn't going to the funeral because she's been mad at her in-laws for years. Her two adult daughters were going to the funeral of their grandmother. My sister seemed a bit peeved about that. This sister is probably the person I have loved the most in my family. I used to push her in a stroller around the neighborhood and heat up her bottle of milk at bedtime because we're that far apart in ages.

I'm sorry that your sister has treated you horribly and calls when she need something. That sound a lot like my other sister as well as two of my brothers. We can't choose our family but we can choose how we react to the situation.

Yes. That's a good point. I refuse to go off at her or let her know that I think she is acting badly. I think she's leaving it to me to call her again. I'm afraid that might be a head game. I call her, and she acts cold and aloof. I won't set myself up for that. One time, she went a year without calling me. Then suddenly she called and was friendly.

She has two adult daughters, my nieces. Neither of them put even a Facebook note to say, "Hope you feel better, Auntie." One of them was in trouble some years back with a felony charge. I wired her several hundred dollars, so she wouldn't have to go to jail. I told her it was a gift.

I guess it's good to know where I stand with them. I'll just accept that now.

Sounds like behaviour in my family too.

Haven't spoken to/seen my brother in over a year, all because of his wife's behaviour. There appears to be a different moral compass operating with most of my close family. Do I want to be part of it, no. I want to look in the mirror and see an honest person, not a hypocrite.

Only contact I have is with my 17 year old niece (my brother's daughter). She has more decency and integrity than most family members (incl her parents). Even my aunt has got involved in the politics.

You are right in not going off at your sister. You are rising above her poor behaviour. Having other issues, it's not just because she can't handle being around sick people.

Look after yourself and take solace in having one relative that does care about you

I must admit Rose I tend to giving the benefit of the doubt especially where close family is concerned but when you wrote about your dad in tears in the nursing. home because of your younger sister not visiting him that’s when I saw the biggest of all red flags. You sound like you’ve given her the benefit of the doubt many times and she’s taken advantage of that. I’m sorry that she’s not been there for those close to her many important times and most recently for you.

I do however think it’s a good thing you’ve fully recognised the pattern- and that you do have support from your other sister. Who knows why she’s this way but she’s unlikely to change by the sounds of it.

I am so sorry

It’s very sad isn’t it. I think part of her unacceptable behavior could be her substance abuse. And looks like her kid behaves selfishly too. Kids learn from what they see. Good for you rising above and not stopping to her level. She is very unhealthy and you can’t change it. How sad

Oh boy not visiting elderly dying parents and not attending funeral of in laws, how low of her. I wonder if she was first in line demanding her inheritance though. She sounds like the type. Of course she had issues with in laws. She sounds like she’d have ton of drama in her life. Probably because they didn’t approve of her behavior

Of course she is your sister and you love her. It sounds like she has her demons, isn’t seeking help and takes it out on other people. Until and if she seeks help normal behavior is likely not possible.

As about your own health, how are you feeling?

I'm not feeling very well. I feel worse than one week ago. I may possibly have an abscess. This diverticulitis can be a scary situation.

Thank you to all who have stopped by, read my post and left a hug. I appreciate you. I'm pretty much on my own. Most of the time, I'm ok with that. However, I've been awfully sick and made need a partial colectomy.

My long-term, loving companion died 2 years ago, after a long illness. I wish he were here.

I just saw my primary and feel like I'm getting all the medical attention I need. I like her.

Gestures of caring mean so much to a sick person. My sister who has ghosted me was pretty focused on inheritances in the past. My father wasn't a wealthy man, but he owned a nice home and had significant savings. He quietly disinherited this sister of mine as one of his final decisions. She was furious, and I felt very bad for her. My other sister and I redivided what we got and gave her a lot of money we each could have kept for ourselves. I'm talking over a hundred thousand dollars. She expressed gratitude to me at the time. But that's long forgotten now. I never mention it. I'll always love her, but I won't delude myself that I mean very much to her. That changes with which way the wind is blowing.

I talked to my other sister. She was very nice and concerned. I have chills now. I'm awful thirsty, but drinking anything makes me nauseated.

I saw my primary care today. She was satisfi

I talked to my other sister. She was very nice and concerned. I have chills now. I'm awful thirsty, but drinking anything makes me nauseated.

I saw my primary care today. She was satisfied that I was coming along okay. I'm not. I'll leave a message for the GI specialist tomorrow. He may not get it till next week.

Went back into the hospital very sick. Back home now. Finally heard from my sister. Apparently, she is not mad about anything. Just busy and didn't have time for me.

My recovery isn't going too well. I'm home. I'm much less sick, but not well either. I can't eat normally. I can't eat much. I go for blood work tomorrow.

I spoke to each of my sisters today. One calls me a lot and shows interest and concern. I decided to call the other one (who ghosted me) because I have been giving her the benefit of the doubt. She seemed friendly last time I called.

So I phoned her. No answer. I figured she was busy or maybe gone to bed. Ten minutes later, she returned my call. I tried to chat, but she seemed uninterested in talking. In twenty minutes, she said she needed to go to bed. So that was that. She's always been a night owl and used to call me and want to talk for hours.

I like to think I can take a hint. No more benefit of the doubt. This is someone showing me she's just not caring a lot about me. So right now I'm feeling bad.

This is an old thread and not much more anyone can tell me. I just had to come here tonight because this is big for me. My sense of loss right now is very big. This really hurts. I've been through this before with her. Back in 2013, she went a year not speaking to me. (I litterally can't even remember why.) I decided to just accept and let go. Then, out of the blue, she called all friendly. And we became close again.

Now, when I've been quite unwell, she is having some major mood shift towards me. This is not the time. I think I need to let go of this and not seek anymore to get support from her.

I've felt tonight that I want to tell her how hurt I am. Maybe write her a simple, straightforward letter. Then I think . . . maybe not.

It feels like an awful lot to keep bottled up. However, if I pour out my hurt to her, I might just permanently poison the relationship. I think - better to remain courteous and act like nothing is wrong. Even if I decide she is selfish and not someone I will ever trust again, I don't want awkwardness at future family get togethers. So I think it's best to just choke back my feelings and ignore her as much as she ignores me. No need for a confrontation. I don't think it would accomplish anything good.

I'm sick and very worried. I've never been seriously ill in my life before. The prospect that I may not fully recover from this to how I was terrifies me. And I am alone, since my sig. other dying 2 years ago. So feeling suddenly rejected by someone I thought would care, if I really needed her support, has me kind of shocked.

Worst of all, I am now very depressed over this phone call. I cannot afford to get depressed mentally on top of being sick physically. For two years, I've adjusted to the loss of my boyfriend, after first having a period of severe depression that got me admitted to a psych ward. (Where I did get good care.) Briefly, back then, I was near suicidality in my thinking. But that did not last long, and I recovered. Now I'm ill, and there is no one to take care of me but me. I cannot afford to get depressed and suffer the self-neglect that comes with depression. That could get me a lot sicker than I might otherwise be. I possibly and probably can and will recover. But I have to pursue medical attention and advocate for myself that I get the appropriate medical care needed. It's questionable whether I am getting all the follow-up I need. Today my primary expressed that she is concerned that I have no follow up with a GI specialist. What should have been a routine recovery has become a relapsing illness that could cause me to need major surgery of a scarey type. Just the thought of that has given me dark thoughts of just wanting to escape everything. But I curtailed that. I did not fall into depression. Emotionally, I feel very unwell after that phone call tonight. I probably will not try calling that sister further. I think I need to detach from her.

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I have to reserve judgment on your situation as it is not easy to track considering I am lazy, per the record. It sounds like there are some issues in your family bigger than the usual. Sometimes a person who finds themselves isolated can perform lackluster in comparison to normal benchmarks. Unless you are qualified, or even if you were, it is better to withhold your attack on her directly or indirectly.

Funerals aren't a requirement in times of tension so you'll get nothing due to the extenuating circumstances. The drinking may relate to social issues and you can consider the love testament as probably not fake however highly questionable as people sometimes believe themselves to be super agents of love or maybe an honest depiction of your humanity. What honestly do you believe it to mean?

The handcuff scenarios are rather sad scenes I am sure. Sad sometimes because the police or system itself can be heartless if the person is unpracticed or suffering from PTSD or some kind of prior associated event. If not, I wonder why it failed to miracle produce a new creation. Obvious the expert will say but I am typically unsurprised.

YOU need to make another attempt before surgery as you would be surprised how singular the world seems..then again she might be in disguise hiding out from detection. Sucks dealing with the worst case.

This all sounds very painful Rose76. I am sorry you are not getting the support you need.

Is there any friend who could help out, if only for emotional support, so you are not so isolated?