Looking for validation

An excellent rule of communication is to be validating and (then) assertive.

Guys and gals, you helped me so much to understand so I could give a better response to people. It’s now when I noticed it, so it’s that moment when I’m very thankful for all your perspectives.
Clearly, I was not ready to deeply understand what you meant it but now, I …

Thank you, a lot!

Wow! I could have written this. My experience exactly.

When I reached the place where I truly found my autonomy and authenticity and confidence, I also found I was able to validate myself to a great degree. And that was when I found therapy just no longer needed.

I’ve become very mindful of my thoughts and emotions—less judgmental of myself, less questioning of myself. I don’t have that urgency to “fix” me or run from my experience. I have gone through four great familial deaths in the last decade, the most difficult that of my husband to Covid. In reading through forums for survivors of Covid deaths, I see so many struggling with this horrific grief (Covid grief is weighted with so much baggage). I notice that those managing it a bit healthier seem to be those who are able to self-validate, to simply (it’s not simple though) sit mindfully in grief without trying to run from their it or fix it or apply blame for it (real or perceived). So many are want everyone to validate their feelings, but in the aftermath of Covid, the politics, the social taboos, the media, the conspiracy theorists all compound that inability to find outward validation, and the sound of grief stays open and raw.

I’m doing relatively okay because, as I have experienced it, my ability to respectfully and mindfully validate my own grief journey has been healing. And I surround myself with people who are kind, supportive, and validating simply through being who they are. I don’t waste time or emotional energy on people who counter my experience. They aren’t going to change.

So hard, losing your husband, Artley. You’re being so amazing brave.

Artley said:
“I’ve become very mindful of my thoughts and emotions—less judgmental of myself, less questioning of myself. I don’t have that urgency to “fix” me or run from my experience”.

Me too. That helped me a lot to face to my dad’s passing away.
I’m not hard with myself anymore and know myself better and self-acceptance no matter what. Of course, assuming responsibilities for my actions if it were the case. That also was very significant to understand better other people.

The best people here taught me was to be more compassionate with people. We are how we are like for different reasons and we are all at different levels of self-development.