[Blueowl]

There is this guy at work and I work for him, but we only meet shortly once a week just for me to tell him how things are going.

I'll admit that I really like him, but I don't want problems at work.

He had a girlfriend, but overhead him tell someone else that no more. However, I think he has been hanging out with a woman at work because she's shown up at events where she does not belong there, by position, that is. The only connection I see is him because at meetings, they talk to each other and I've seen them drive away together. She's at this workplace temporarily, sort of like a temporary assignment and returns to her old job, which is out of state.

He has brought baked goods to some of our meetings. He's said things to me that have caught me off guard because I didn't think he would have noticed little details about me. There have been times where he has, perhaps, overshared. He's made comments about my appearance, such as noticing when I put my hair up or the shoes I am wearing. He can read me very well; sometimes, all it takes is a look and he knows what I am thinking.

I've dropped hints, to which he has not responded. Sometimes, I think he has dropped hints at me that I didn't realize until later. For example, I told him where I would like to go for a drive and then he responds that I could be driven.

One of the occasions that he brought in baked goods he made himself, he asked me if I liked them. Another person at work, who thinks he is lazy, asked him if he had baked them himself. To which he said, right away, yes, I'm a great catch.

If I didn't work for him, I'd be more forthcoming, but... trying to keep it cool.

Opinions... does he like me (as if maybe romantically) or is he just being polite?

Am also looking to have fun reading responses. Not taking this too seriously!

[Blueowl]

Need to add that I do not get "player" vibes from this guy.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

I am leaning towards yes, he does. Note though that he, too, might not want to have things go a certain way because you are his report. It is not just a situation at work, it is a direct reporting relationship that is implicated. Policies on workplace romance differ somewhat from employer to employer, but romance between a subordinate and her manager is always off limits. It may not be the end of the world: maybe you just need to disclose it to HR and your assignment would get switched so that you would no longer report to him, but I thought it was worth mentioning that he might be being ambiguous with you (he is) because he is himself conflicted, and he is conflicted because you are his report.

[Blueowl]

Funny you say that. He's told me how he has been looking for other jobs in the same place, but didn't get them.

[Molinit]

Doesn’t matter. Don’t pursue this and if he pursues, turn him down. Don’t ever become involved with someone at work.

[Blueowl]

True. Sad part is that I really like him. But, the circumstances are less than ideal. And I don't want problems at work. Who knows? Maybe we're both thinking the same.

[Bill3]

What Molinit said.

I don't think there is enough information here to form a solid opinion, either. If you or he change jobs, there is no way to predict how the relationship might evolve. So don't even think about changing jobs over this guy.

Just remember: follow Molinit's advice, no matter what.

[Blueowl]

Oh dear I am in trouble. I had to talk to him today about work stuff and he took the opportunity to mention how handsome he is. I kept a straight face. He probably knows I like him too. I am not acting on it. I tried my best to keep it professional. He keeps mentioning when he is leaving. It kills me inside. I feel like I’m in middle school. Does this happen to adults normally too or am I being immature? I have not said a word to anyone. Thank goodness for these forums. Please help me stay strong.

[divine1966]

He was talking about himself how handsome he is? That’s a huge red flag and a turn off. Who brags about his looks to his co workers or to anyone??? I thought I heard it all

[Bill3]

Stay strong! Coming on to co-workers is not good.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Originally Posted by divine1966

He was talking about himself how handsome he is? That’s a huge red flag and a turn off. Who brags about his looks to his co workers or to anyone??? I thought I heard it all

Plus one.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

Plus one.

? What do you mean?

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Originally Posted by divine1966

? What do you mean?

It means I strongly agree with you, that I add my one vote, plus one, to what you wrote. On messaging apps such as Slack people use an emoji that shows the plus sign and the digit 1: +1. Instead of writing a new post saying that they wholeheartedly agree, they just put +1 beneath the post they agree with. This is more than putting a Thanks on this site signals wholehearted agreement which was the case for me here because I agreed with everything and loved "I thought I heard it all".

I never thought that I would be explaining emojis to anyone because I am usually slow to learn them, but I guess there is the first time for everything

[Blueowl]

I learned about the plus one. I was wondering what it meant too. And I honestly cannot recall seeing it someplace else. Is that relatively new or am I behind in the times?

[Blueowl]

Originally Posted by divine1966

He was talking about himself how handsome he is? That’s a huge red flag and a turn off. Who brags about his looks to his co workers or to anyone??? I thought I heard it all

You are so right and am here laughing. I don’t think people will cease to surprise us.

Thanks all for your input and for keeping it real.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Originally Posted by Blueowl

I learned about the plus one. I was wondering what it meant too. And I honestly cannot recall seeing it someplace else. Is that relatively new or am I behind in the times?

I first saw it on Slack in 2018, but Slack was founded in 2013, it is just that I had not used it prior to 2018. So, probably for 10 years at least.

I cannot find this emoji on emojipedia, though. I do see the heavy plus sign, approved in 2010: ➕ Heavy Plus Sign Emoji

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

It means I strongly agree with you, that I add my one vote, plus one, to what you wrote. On messaging apps such as Slack people use an emoji that shows the plus sign and the digit 1: +1. Instead of writing a new post saying that they wholeheartedly agree, they just put +1 beneath the post they agree with. This is more than putting a Thanks on this site signals wholehearted agreement which was the case for me here because I agreed with everything and loved "I thought I heard it all".

I never thought that I would be explaining emojis to anyone because I am usually slow to learn them, but I guess there is the first time for everything

Thanks! I thought it might mean what you said but wasn’t 100% sure. I don’t use Slack. Or similar apps so it didn’t look familiar to me. Is it for Android users? I am strictly Apple person and if communicate overseas with Android users, I use What’s App

It’s good to know if I do run into it again

[Molinit]

Plus 2, a guy talking about how handsome he is will make me run in the other direction!

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Thanks! I thought it might mean what you said but wasn’t 100% sure. I don’t use Slack. Or similar apps so it didn’t look familiar to me. Is it for Android users? I am strictly Apple person and if communicate overseas with Android users, I use What’s App

It’s good to know if I do run into it again

Slack is available on both Android and Apple, but is more commonly used in companies, where it is also available as a desktop app. It is pretty cool but it is not necessary for a consumer who has Apple and uses What's App, too.

[Blueowl]

I went for a hike today. I was going at it solo. Met two guys along the way. We ended up doing the hike together. They talked about their ages and I did not disclose mine - I was walking behind. Am almost 10 years older. One the guys asked for my number! WOW. It gave me an ego boost - but won’t pursue.

I don’t think a guy has asked me for my number in forever.

I thought I’d share.

Spring is beautiful!!

[Tart Cherry Jam]

Why not pursue? If you did not like him, fine, but do not let the age difference scare you away. He is clearly interested.

[Open Eyes]

He sounds insecure and in need of validation.

I am good looking and I am a good cook and a good catch tends to be statements coming from an insecure person needing someone to say yes all good qualities in a polite manner. He is approval seeking which is why you are confused on if he likes you or not.

[Blueowl]

I like the guy at work much better than the hike guy. Agh!!

Yes, I see the validation factor now that it is being pointed out. I've been tempted to tease him but have not crossed that line because... well... work. He treats people very well at work and seems to be very much liked by his peers. Does come across as a genuinely caring person. But then again... validation? Food for thought.

Thus far, although perhaps borderline inappropriate, I think it's harmless. He's never made me feel uncomfortable nor threatened. I'll just admire from afar and in the inside.

[Blueowl]

Now there is another guy at work bringing me donuts. Oh dear! No, I didn’t turn him down…. I ate two chocolate donuts.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

You are positively popular