[Blueowl]

Most time of the time I strive to make things better, improve them, and do what I think is morally right.

I've realized that not every person has the same sense of care for their environment or others. For example, the other day I was a the office and the space to the sink is rather narrow. While I was using the coffee machine, a guy at work busted in and threw his left over coffee in the sink and walked away. He didn't even bother rinsing the sink! I didn't have the best impression of him, because he told me about his glory days and when I started talking about mine, he turned his back and walked away. I'm not concerned about this man, it's just that he is someone at work I'm not impressed with.

But, when it comes to my last marriage, I saw a pattern. I take it upon myself to do things, well, because they need to get done and had no help, or if I asked, asking in itself was a problem and I dreaded having to do so. Part of the demise was that I felt I was going at it solo. Not so much in the first marriage, as it felt more like we were a team.

Am I an idiot? Is this a boundaries issue in relationships? I don't want to be taken advantage of, and seems it is happening more as of lately. What I mean by this is that I see it more and more. First, I feel resentful and subsequently, I withdraw. As in the example of the coffee guy... why? I find it disrespectful towards the rest of us that work there. When he goes to the bathroom to do a #2... does he flush? I don't want to know! I'm sure you get my drift...

My sister had expressed not to have expectations. But... that is not right either. For example, if you work you expect to get paid. If you get married, you expect your partner to care for you - regretfully, I've learned this is not always the case.

Looking for tips on how to keep my sanity and not give too much. Does this fall under the boundaries type topic?