Would it be inappropriate or weird to ask new acquaintances to initiate contact?

jesyka · Jul 29, 2023, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

You asked what I’d do. If I always initiated and they never did and always had reasons to not see me, I’d stop initiating. I am not saying I’d be dramatic and confront them or block and delete. I’d just stop initiating. I am not saying my opinion is right. I just see no point in telling random people that I want this or that from them. Things are the way they are. If people don’t contact me, I can’t make them.

My bad about being kicked out from a bar. It wasn’t a friend but a chiropractor. I just see “shock value” sharing on your part and it made he wonder why you share that kind of stuff with strangers. But again I might be wrong about the whole thing .

It wasn’t shock value. It was just a mistake. I won’t do it again or try not to.

jesyka · Jul 29, 2023, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Hi Jesyka, I know you're upset and wanting to give up on people. I hate it when someone rudely changes the subject. And then they say ''bye'' and put the phone down. But I still try to be civil.... It's not as if I don't have the ''skills'' to be rude and mean back, that is easy, anyone can be rude and mean. It takes strength to remain kind when interacting with ''idiots'' with appalling manners.

Sometimes someone needs to be told off, sure...

What about the people here who have been trying to help you? I don't see anyone using you as a free therapist here? Some people have put in a lot of effort trying to support you. (some threads don't receive many replies here.....) Why do you think there are only jerks in ''real'' life? I hope your luck changes. You've had a lot of people posting saying they are rooting for you!

Thanks. I didn’t mean that I’d give up on the people on here. I meant that I would give up on the people in real
life.

I do realize that a lot of people on here are trying to help me & I appreciate that even though it doesn’t seem like I do sometimes.

Anyways, that flaky lady finally got back to me. I daw her yesterday. She is going through a lot & she just got her account drained by some scammer.

I feel bad for her.

jesyka · Jul 29, 2023, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

@jesyka how are you doing today?

I really understand about the whole under/over sharing confusion. My gut feeling is every friendship is different. There’s no hard and fast rules.

I’m so sorry it’s feeling so hard right now, what comes across to me in your posts is how hard you’ve been trying and thinking about your actions. It’s okay to take a break (from developing friendships or posting here) but I hope you’re practicing good self care and nurturing yourself. Sometimes retreating a while can give us the space we need to move forward.

We’re here for you if you need us.

Hi, thanks for caring. I’m doing better. Niw. I heard back from that flaky lady. I decided to listen to you guys & give her a chance.

So she got scammed & had her account drained. They took less than $950 at a time so nothing will be done about it. It happened 3 or 4 times & her bank didn’t say anything at all. Weird.

I feel bad for her. This time I didn’t talk about myself except for telling her that we had a similar situation happen to us & that she’d get her money back like we did probably.

I asked about her work with tigers which was interesting. I listened to her story. I’ll
Listen more from now on. And talk less about personal issues that should stay that way for awhile.

jesyka · Jul 29, 2023, 11:54 PM

The other lady I was talking to us sick. She texted me last night.

jesyka · Jul 29, 2023, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think I've done this too, sometimes I over share.

Maybe if your new friend asked you a question that brought back some memories or something, then over sharing is ''normal''. It's probably not wise to be too guarded, or it's unlikely we'll connect with many people. idk though, I'm still working on it. I don't really have any answers

I think that maybe I overshare once in awhike. Or maybe I talk about personal issues to often, idk. Other people do the same tbh.

Aug 05, 2023, 03:15 AM

Hey @jesyka I'm glad to read that you heard back from both of those women. I tend to be on the cynical side when it comes to people, so I'm glad that I was wrong about their intentions towards you regarding friendship.

There is nothing wrong with over-sharing. We over-share when we feel vulnerable and need social support. Everyone, and I mean everyone overshares. No one is exempt from that act. It's human nature.

I hope things workout for you with these two women.

Discombobulated · Aug 05, 2023, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motts

Hey @jesyka I'm glad to read that you heard back from both of those women. I tend to be on the cynical side when it comes to people, so I'm glad that I was wrong about their intentions towards you regarding friendship.

There is nothing wrong with over-sharing. We over-share when we feel vulnerable and need social support. Everyone, and I mean everyone overshares. No one is exempt from that act. It's human nature.

I hope things workout for you with these two women.

Fuzzybear · Aug 06, 2023, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motts

Hey @jesyka I'm glad to read that you heard back from both of those women. I tend to be on the cynical side when it comes to people, so I'm glad that I was wrong about their intentions towards you regarding friendship.

There is nothing wrong with over-sharing. We over-share when we feel vulnerable and need social support. Everyone, and I mean everyone overshares. No one is exempt from that act. It's human nature.

I hope things workout for you with these two women.

Good post

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