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Member
Member Since Nov 2021
Location: Australia
Posts: 33
2 7 hugs
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#1
They call me every 6 months or so, saying they're troubled and want my support. In good time, they try to get me to say certain bad things about people I care about. I feel compelled to play along.
I have it on good authority that they are known for this. They don't notice how much it hurts me to say these things and I haven't told them that I know what they're doing. Meanwhile the people I don't want to hurt may have been listening to rumours for years and I've been keeping it to myself. What could I do to put an end to this and to set everyone straight? Last edited by StephenT; Oct 25, 2023 at 05:25 AM.. |
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AzulOscuro, unaluna
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Member
Member Since Oct 2022
Location: United States
Posts: 96
2 26 hugs
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#2
If you understand the whole matter to be a manipulation to backstab others at your expense, then quit engaging in the exercise by either removing them from your life or nip it in the bud the next time by telling this individual if he has issues with others to address those matters with them directly.
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AzulOscuro, eskielover, Tart Cherry Jam
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Member
Member Since Nov 2021
Location: Australia
Posts: 33
2 7 hugs
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#3
Thanks.
I'm more concerned how to approach the others who are the subject of the talk. |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,779
(SuperPoster!)
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#4
If there is something you feel at fault for, apologize and commit to never doing it again.
__________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg+Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications, some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity BMI ~ 38 |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2023
Location: Michigan
Posts: 364
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#5
What could I do to put an end to this and to set everyone straight?
I'll state the obvious but don't participate. These discussions have nowhere to go but south and you will get roped into something ugly. Have the courage to call them out and keep you out of their drama. Not long ago I had a coworker badmouth our boss because he and my boss don't get along. This coworker was trying to "recruit" me to his "side". I got a little nasty about it and told him we're not going to have this discussion. If it's something work-related, cool. If not, get stepping. |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2022
Location: United States
Posts: 96
2 26 hugs
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#6
Quote:
Also remember, people who are trash talking about others to you are likely trashing talking about you to them. People who instigate conflict, love to set up sides to control the narrative. The best way to avoid that is stay out of it completely. |
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