Bad timing

Hi...for one thing, I'm new to this site I just wanted some other perspectives. I am with someone that has drastically changed my life, I have been with him for 6 months, but we have been friends for 2 years. Before him, I never dated anyone seriously. I am only 18, and he wants us to get married before I'm 20. We work out reallly well together, but I have always been afraid of being married too young, and divorce ect. plus this is the first time i have ever been in a long term relationship. We both also have severe mood disorders, but help eachother out. I don't want to throw away an awesome relationship but i don't want us to make a big mistake. Any thoughts?

I don't know if you already have done this, maybe you have, but have you both sat down and spoke seriously about this and how you both really need to take things at a slower pace, he needs to be made seriously aware of how you really feel about getting married before you are 20, you both have your lives ahead of you to live, and if he will feel the same or even you for that matter, in a couple of years then maybe it will then be time, but at this point in your lives you need to experience things, start your careers and/or college, it is harder but not impossible when your older to these things such as go to school, etc. I did that later in life with some regret, keeping house, caring for a kid in grammar school, and driving out to college classes (not to mention the homework) and this is just half of what I was doing, it can get overwhelming carrying a heavy load. It is ideal to do these things while you are young, single and not having to try to care for a family. You both may need to double think your priorites at the present, cause if not your future(s) may be compromised down the road of life.
Best wishes for you both
"darkeyes"

I really *ditto* darkeyes" post. I'm happy for you that you have this really awesome relationship with your b/f. If what you feel for each other is going to turn into a life long commitment I think you and your b/f need to discuss several things.

You said that you both have severe mood disorders but that you help each other out. That's great, but what if you both experience these problems at the same time? Do you have a back-up plan? My husband and I both suffer from depression. When we first were married we used to joke about how both of us couldn't be "down" at the same time. Well the joke turned into a reality that had a very negative impact on our relationship.

Are either of you under a doctor's care or involved in therapy? It might be something to discuss with your b/f.

I have a son who is almost 18......he has what he calls the "most awesome girlfriend in the world". They are having a great time. He took her to the Winter Ball at their school last weekend. AAHH....young love : ) But...LOL..there are also times when he gets home from school and says "women!!!!!! I don't understand them at all!!!!". Now the two of them may one day marry, but they have both agreed that they each want to finish college and see if they still feel the same about each other.

You mentioned that your b/f wanted to be married by the time you were 20. Is there a reason why he picked that age? Could you suggest to him that you would prefer to say like somewhere in the early to mid 20's? How would he feel about that?

I think that you've shown a good amount of maturity by posting and asking for advice/suggestions And I always love seeing young people in love.....but there are many responsibilities that accompany marriage. Enjoy the relationship that you now have, but please think about the suggestions offered in all of the posts you receive.

Please feel free to let us know how it goes, ok?

Sweet

"It's never too late to be what you might have been". George Eliot

i think with any life-changing decision, you must look at all your options and decide what is best FOR YOU!!! i think it is good to get others' opinions and to RESEARCH all your acceptable possibilities. most of all, try to be honest with yourself first...then others . . . .

"to thine ownself be true" says it best . . . i think lacking that type of self-honesty & expression may be the cause of depression. (((Huggs)))