I'm A Hopeless Romantic

Hey, y'all. I'm looking for some advice and maybe some different perspectives on my situation...So, I'm 18 years old and have never been in a romantic relationship before. I have a hard enough time even just making friends...so I always figure that if I can't even just make friends, it's probably unlikely a romantic relationship would ever happen for me. So, I try not to think about it. But, I've always been a hopeless romantic. Even so, that doesn't mean I've always wanted to be in a relationship. I just see love everywhere and it's always interested me. As I grow older though, I think I'm actually starting to want someone to love. The thing is, I feel old...Is it too late for me? I mean, everyone I know has had some experience, even if it wasn't a real relationship that lasted and I have...nothing.

There's this one guy I was in science class with in middle school. We met up again in high school and when we did, he kept saying he wanted to date me. But after thinking about it and seeing that he says that with every girl, I told him straight out that I wasn't interested. He insists that he knows me and that we are like the same person and always wants to meet up with me even though I feel that I've been explicitly clear that I will not date him or be anything more than friends. Sure, we were in the same class together for one year in middle school...but he didn't know me all the years in between and even then, we were never close friends. I know in my heart I don't like him like that at all. I just don't. But he keeps insisting and tells me that settling for him is better than ending up alone.

I seem to be generally well-liked by people, I try and put myself out there, and I think that I also look pretty average too. So, I never thought of myself as someone people would go out of their way to date or as very pretty or anything like that...but I never thought the only way to try and find love would be by "settling" for someone I just don't like.

I realize that I don't even know how most people find their partner in life..I just want someone to love, understand, grow old with, and laugh with. Maybe my expectations are too high? Is he right? Should I just give up and settle? Is there something..wrong with me because I've never been loved romantically before at this age? It makes me feel like a loser...and I'm not sure what the right thing to do would be...if anything

I’m an aging romantic and I don’t see it as hopeless. It’s a choice.

Being a Romantic isn’t for the everyone, you have to be willing to get hurt.

I wish you luck

Ohhh you are sooo young. Focus on experiences like school and work and having fun.

Don't settle for him! You have a whole life before you. 18 is very young, even if people around you have already been in relationships.

Settling will only make you resentful in the end. That's experience talking because I settled when I was 18 as well, and it led to me cheating because I thought I could do better. If you feel you can do better, you definitely will.

It took me almost 20 years to finally find the love of my life, and even still, it isn't perfect, because really nothing is. Hold out for the real love, it's worth it.

Well..it does seem to be the general consensus of the 4 people online who replied to my post that I shouldn't settle and I should wait for something real. That made me think about what he'd do if I rejected him..and I just realized that I think that if I kept telling him no and refused to settle for him, I don't think he'd even be that upset. He'd probably just find some other girl to pester. I'm probably more likely to be available to find something real when it's the right time if I let that whole situation with him go too...I hope there's real love out there for me, in any case. thanks for your advice

I know you ve said you’re back in school I suggest joining groups or clubs to try new things and meet new people. I joined several differing groups and learned I liked science fiction and folk dancing. Joined clubs and was elected Vic president. I learned more about politics and how it works in the real world in a way that books never taught me. Before going to college I was pretty isolated and a loner. College was a place I learned to spread my wings.

I'd like to get more involved in my campus..I'm just incredibly awkward, I guess. And I don't want to feel even worse about myself by having that being confirmed by other people I want to be liked and respected by. But you have a good point- if I don't meet new people nothing will happen to me in life.

You probably overestimate how awkward you are and in particular how much this is noticed by other folks. Try to focus on what you do for other people, what you give them in your interactions with them, and how interesting they are to you as people. People universally like and appreciate being paid attention to, being taken seriously, being shown an interest in. If you can do that for people and I am sure you can, this will go a long way towards erasing whatever awkwardness you might have about you.

Let me tell ya, awkward! I’m a terrible dancer and have two left feet but the folk dancer group was incredibly supportive and fun. They were very forgiving of my awkward movements and turning left instead of right. I just didn’t join them for the performance dances in public. But the weekly fun dances were fun. Most of the students in the folk dancing were language majors but they accepted anyone who was willing to have fun. Incredible people.

Hey birdyblues, reading your post I can tell you have your head screwed on right and also I'm sure you're not alone in feeling the way you do>>>
It doesn't matter the age at all in this regard birdyblues, it is never too late. You may feel that it is, but it actually is not. People are finding love, even for the first time, at essentially all points along the age spectrum. It's a wonderful thing about life. That's all I wanted to comment on. Some good advices in the previous posts too.