Hopeless single romantic

I've just recently at the age of 25 started seeing images of being sexually abused when I was younger. I always had an unsettling feeling that something happened to me, but I could never validate it. I went through years of drug abuse, then self injury, promiscuis sex, daydreaming...anything to get away from a dormant past. Now it won't leave me alone and I'm facing it clean (7+ yrs) and with a hypnotherapist.

I haven't had a boyfriend going on SIX years! I worry all the time that I will forever be alone. I don't circulate myself, so I never meet men. And when I do meet a man, I unconsiously sabotage myself. I never feel completely at ease, sex is difficult and unenjoyable and even while being on Thorazine (anger issues) and Paxil (major depression, BPD, PTSD), my sex drive is still OVER healthy. Thinking about a marriage and kids that will never happen constantly gets me down, but because I'm alone most of the day (self employed, barely), I can't stop stressing. Any suggestions? How do people overcome their sex abuse problems to go on and have a marriage and kids?

Hmmm, guess my feelings are definitely valid

Time! That's all I can tell you. I was rapped by my first boyfriend. I did a lot of the same things you did. I hid, I went wild, I drank, I did whatever I could do to hid from the pain. I finally got help and sobered up.
I wish you luck. Happiness is out there waiting for the right time for you to grab it.

I am 48 and just remembering and working through having been sexually abused as a small child. I think I am one of the lucky ones in that I have a husband and four children. I nearly lost my husband during these last two years of therapy, all the past came roaring back into my conscious mind and basically shut me down sexually. Now that I am healing and through the worst of it, my sex drive seems hmmm overwhelming. I guess it is a balancing thing. I think I had to do a lot of the healing before I was ready to be with my husband. If you do the work, I believe there will come a time for you to have what you desire.