wife said shes divorcing me

divine1966 · Jan 01, 2024 at 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

I have a income just shy of hers from my long term disability.

How did you two ended up maxing out credit cards then? Between two of you you should have enough credit I’d think? You’ve been together relatively short period of time so it’s unclear how you both got into a bad shape that quick

It seems that this marriage puts you both in a disastrous situation. It maybe for the best to end it. When are you planning to see a lawyer?

aphexx13 · Jan 01, 2024 at 06:47 PM

We put the wedding and some vacations on the cards. We weren't smart with our financial choices. She wants me to sign the papers this week. We have 3 pets together and I'm really close to one of them and shes saying shes not sure yet if shes letting me have her. The cat is very attached to me. I'm seeing a lawyer this week. Shes not being difficult. Shes says she'll give me my daughter's bed from our house and a few other things on the condition that I sign the divorce papers.

Nammu · Jan 01, 2024 at 06:49 PM

You might not think she’s being difficult but she’s being very selfish

eskielover · Jan 01, 2024 at 07:29 PM

Thing with divorce is that what you come into the marriage with is NOT considered community property, only what you have accumulated AFTER the marriage. That is how the court sees it unless there are other agrements legally made in the divorce.

So basically anything she had before the marriage is hers & same for you. Any Money if in joint account is considered joint. If business is legally in both names then assets & debt are divided just as assets & debts after the marriage are split. Just the way it legally works unless other agreements are made in the divorce. That is sometimes why lawyers are needed to negotiate

aphexx13 · Jan 01, 2024 at 09:04 PM

I thinks so as well. She gave me no warning and wants me to magically have a place. Her daughter and my daughter are going to be devastated. She wont even give councling a try. She said shes letting me stay at our house for January. She initially wanted me out by January 7th even though I paid January rent. Another condition she gave me for signing the divorce papers with no contentions.

aphexx13 · Jan 01, 2024 at 09:06 PM

The only thing we have bought together is a couch tv and laptop we also got all 3 cats together. I only want one of them. We have bought a few small items together and lots of stuff for the business.

eskielover · Jan 01, 2024 at 09:16 PM

Hope the business was legally started in both your names or something you will have to seriously discuss with a lawyer assuming that the debt isn't greater than the assets. From the sounds of what you are saying all you both will come away with in the divorce is debt

aphexx13 · Jan 01, 2024 at 11:35 PM

tonight has been the worst night. i only have my mom left as family and shes 88 shes been in the hospital 3 times in the last week for raspatory issues. if i lose her im totaly alone besides my 10 yr old daughter who i adore. i was freaking out so bad because i couldnt get any info from the er for hours. i made the mistake of not keeping my friendships up during my 5 yrs with my wife. i put all my time in my marriage and the kids. i felt so isolated and alone. i told my wife that i know its not her responsibility anymore to comfort me but i was crying my eyes out and so scared and alone. she told me shes in her own depressive state and needs to be alone. when she gets depressed she goes into a shell. i felt so gutted as she gave me a short hug and said i have to go upstairs and be alone to eat her pizza

i was almost suicidal the pain is so intense. the only thing that keeps me going right now is my daughter i wont abandon her. im scared for my life right now.

divine1966 · Jan 02, 2024 at 01:05 AM

Hang in there. It’s tough but it might look better after you talk to a lawyer.

6 cats? Ouch

Have Hope · Jan 02, 2024 at 03:39 AM

Don't sign anything until your lawyer reviews the paperwork. You need a divorce agreement to split up the belongings and business you own together. Speak with your lawyer first, and have your lawyer read over the paperwork she wants you to sign. Make sure that you have ownership of all that you own and should own within the divorce agreement. She cannot push or force you to do anything. Don't let her. You should also be taking the cat that is attached to you. It's not up to her to decide. It's up to both of you. It sounds like she is bullying you.

Nammu · Jan 02, 2024 at 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

The only thing we have bought together is a couch tv and laptop we also got all 3 cats together. I only want one of them. We have bought a few small items together and lots of stuff for the business.

You also racked up credit card debt together. A wedding and vacation put on cards. That’s both of you. Also if you have been paying even half the rent that equity in your favor. It does sound as if she’s bullying you to get you to sign papers in her favor without a lawyer.

divine1966 · Jan 02, 2024 at 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

You also racked up credit card debt together. A wedding and vacation put on cards. That’s both of you. Also if you have been paying even half the rent that equity in your favor. It does sound as if she’s bullying you to get you to sign papers in her favor without a lawyer.

It’s a rental. There’s no equity

I could not understand people spending on lavish weddings and extravagant honeymoons and huge rings when either both or one person have no money plus a foundation of marriage isn’t even solid. Why? The success of marriage has nothing to do with how much was spent on the wedding

Yes it sounds as she is rushing. I’d do nothing until meeting with a lawyer especially since they own a business

aphexx13 · Jan 02, 2024 at 07:03 PM

Yes I'm definitely seeing a lawyer before signing anything.

aphexx13 · Jan 03, 2024 at 12:49 AM

i may have some hope of getting a place thats for low income people. i will find out tomorrow. i told my wife tonight about it and asked if after i move out could we do a separation to make sure and also if i paid my half could i stay on her insurance. she wanted no part of that and wants to get the divorce over with so she can heal and maybe later down the road we could discuss getting back together. shes religious and swore to god that there is no one else. shes always texting and says that she is catching up with old friends. tonight she said she was working late because her boss is out of town and the team had to finish her financials. i believed her because i know those are long days. she then sends me a screenshot of her computer showing the time of when she is leaving. then says just to avoid any suspicion of when she left work i can look at the time on her computer. why even tell me that? shes done with me why would she care if im suspicious or not?

eskielover · Jan 03, 2024 at 02:17 AM

Can you get a copy of what she wants you to sign before going to the lawyer for him to review so he knows where she is coming from? It might help the lawyer advise you better.

aphexx13 · Jan 03, 2024 at 02:42 AM

she hasnt filed yet.

Molinit · Jan 03, 2024 at 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

i may have some hope of getting a place thats for low income people. i will find out tomorrow. i told my wife tonight about it and asked if after i move out could we do a separation to make sure and also if i paid my half could i stay on her insurance. she wanted no part of that and wants to get the divorce over with so she can heal and maybe later down the road we could discuss getting back together. shes religious and swore to god that there is no one else. shes always texting and says that she is catching up with old friends. tonight she said she was working late because her boss is out of town and the team had to finish her financials. i believed her because i know those are long days. she then sends me a screenshot of her computer showing the time of when she is leaving. then says just to avoid any suspicion of when she left work i can look at the time on her computer. why even tell me that? shes done with me why would she care if im suspicious or not?

Once you're divorced, you have no right to be on her insurance, so if that's part of what you want, dragging your feet on this is best, as she cannot take you off as long as she's legally married to you.

Stop talking to her about your plans! And you don't need to pay any attention to what she's doing, where she is, who she's texting. This marriage is finished. Just make sure you have your own lawyer and then if she has demands, those demands need to go to HER attorney, who will then notify YOUR attorney.

eskielover · Jan 03, 2024 at 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aphexx13

she hasnt filed yet.

You can't sign anything until you have something to sign. Best to tell her to get you a copy so your lawyer can review it before doing anything. That puts the action on her. Your lawyer will less be able to advise you until they know her actual demands

aphexx13 · Jan 03, 2024 at 11:47 PM

really struggling today. im still in the same house with my wife and sleeping in the same bed while the kids are here. its gut wrenching because shes laughing at tv shows like nothing is wrong at all. i still love her but im starting to hate her behavior. i want to save the marriage but at the same time why would i want to be with someone who did this to me. i want to die but i want to live. i think about maybe the future could be good but then i feel like im never going to trust anyone again. never is an absolute but it feels so permanent. im a mess

aphexx13 · Jan 04, 2024 at 07:37 PM

My wife came home tonight and she is in a cleaning mode. I usually do all the cleaning and she usually doesn't even put her dishes away. She was like that yesterday to. Usually shes in bed by 10pm but she was up till 12am reading in bed all week. What's with all the energy? Is it because shes excited over the break up or is she keeping herself busy because of guilt?

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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 71,401 (SuperPoster!) 13 53.7k hugs given	Jan 01, 2024 at 06:49 PM #43 You might not think she’s being difficult but she’s being very selfish __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 01, 2024 at 09:06 PM #46 The only thing we have bought together is a couch tv and laptop we also got all 3 cats together. I only want one of them. We have bought a few small items together and lots of stuff for the business.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,380 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jan 02, 2024 at 01:05 AM #49 Hang in there. It’s tough but it might look better after you talk to a lawyer. 6 cats? Ouch
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 02, 2024 at 07:03 PM #53 Yes I'm definitely seeing a lawyer before signing anything.
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eskielover Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2004 Location: Kentucky, USA Posts: 24,761 (SuperPoster!) 19 14.6k hugs given	Jan 03, 2024 at 02:17 AM #55 Can you get a copy of what she wants you to sign before going to the lawyer for him to review so he knows where she is coming from? It might help the lawyer advise you better. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 03, 2024 at 02:42 AM #56 she hasnt filed yet.
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aphexx13 Member Member Since Dec 2023 Location: cumming ga Posts: 52 19 hugs given	Jan 04, 2024 at 07:37 PM #60 My wife came home tonight and she is in a cleaning mode. I usually do all the cleaning and she usually doesn't even put her dishes away. She was like that yesterday to. Usually shes in bed by 10pm but she was up till 12am reading in bed all week. What's with all the energy? Is it because shes excited over the break up or is she keeping herself busy because of guilt?
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