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#51
Jan 02, 2024, 05:21 PM
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__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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#52
Jan 02, 2024, 05:26 PM
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I could not understand people spending on lavish weddings and extravagant honeymoons and huge rings when either both or one person have no money plus a foundation of marriage isn’t even solid. Why? The success of marriage has nothing to do with how much was spent on the wedding Yes it sounds as she is rushing. I’d do nothing until meeting with a lawyer especially since they own a business |
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#53
Jan 02, 2024, 07:03 PM
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Yes I'm definitely seeing a lawyer before signing anything.
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#54
Jan 03, 2024, 12:49 AM
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i may have some hope of getting a place thats for low income people. i will find out tomorrow. i told my wife tonight about it and asked if after i move out could we do a separation to make sure and also if i paid my half could i stay on her insurance. she wanted no part of that and wants to get the divorce over with so she can heal and maybe later down the road we could discuss getting back together. shes religious and swore to god that there is no one else. shes always texting and says that she is catching up with old friends. tonight she said she was working late because her boss is out of town and the team had to finish her financials. i believed her because i know those are long days. she then sends me a screenshot of her computer showing the time of when she is leaving. then says just to avoid any suspicion of when she left work i can look at the time on her computer. why even tell me that? shes done with me why would she care if im suspicious or not?
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#55
Jan 03, 2024, 02:17 AM
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Can you get a copy of what she wants you to sign before going to the lawyer for him to review so he knows where she is coming from? It might help the lawyer advise you better.
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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#56
Jan 03, 2024, 02:42 AM
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she hasnt filed yet.
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#57
Jan 03, 2024, 10:48 AM
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Once you're divorced, you have no right to be on her insurance, so if that's part of what you want, dragging your feet on this is best, as she cannot take you off as long as she's legally married to you. Stop talking to her about your plans! And you don't need to pay any attention to what she's doing, where she is, who she's texting. This marriage is finished. Just make sure you have your own lawyer and then if she has demands, those demands need to go to HER attorney, who will then notify YOUR attorney. |
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#58
Jan 03, 2024, 11:50 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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#59
Jan 03, 2024, 11:47 PM
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really struggling today. im still in the same house with my wife and sleeping in the same bed while the kids are here. its gut wrenching because shes laughing at tv shows like nothing is wrong at all. i still love her but im starting to hate her behavior. i want to save the marriage but at the same time why would i want to be with someone who did this to me. i want to die but i want to live. i think about maybe the future could be good but then i feel like im never going to trust anyone again. never is an absolute but it feels so permanent. im a mess
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#60
Jan 04, 2024, 07:37 PM
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My wife came home tonight and she is in a cleaning mode. I usually do all the cleaning and she usually doesn't even put her dishes away. She was like that yesterday to. Usually shes in bed by 10pm but she was up till 12am reading in bed all week. What's with all the energy? Is it because shes excited over the break up or is she keeping herself busy because of guilt?
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#61
Jan 06, 2024, 12:56 AM
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needing some support today anyone there?
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#62
Jan 06, 2024, 10:16 AM
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What’s going on?
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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#63
Jan 06, 2024, 01:45 PM
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Just feeling like there's no way out of the situation I'm in. I cant afford to live alone because all the low income apartments are not available. I keep wanting to save my marriage which isnt realistic. I want to go to sleep and not wake up
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#64
Jan 06, 2024, 02:01 PM
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Do those low income apartments have a waiting list? Now would be a good time to focus on getting your name on those lists rather than waiting. That will give you something to focus on doing.
__________________
Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
 Nammu
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#65
Jan 06, 2024, 02:53 PM
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Low cost/subsidized apartments are hard to come by and wait lists are long. How about renting a room in someone’s house? Post it on nextdoor. We had neighbours offering people a room for just a few hundreds a month because people were facing homelessness.
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#66
Jan 06, 2024, 03:20 PM
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Always good to get the name on the lists thougb. When renting a room, one never knows how the dynamics will go when there is another person involved but definitely a room is a good temporary solution
__________________
Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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#67
Jan 06, 2024, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
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 aphexx13
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| aphexx13, eskielover
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#68
Jan 06, 2024, 04:28 PM
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yes waiting list is long. i have a few more to try.
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#69
Jan 06, 2024, 04:29 PM
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i will keep that in mind. i know its a waste of time but i keep trying to think of the right words and actions to fix our marriage. any little thing from my wife gives me hope maybe false hope. like yesterday we hung out all day watching tv because she through her back out. the kids are away so we slept in separate beds. we were both on our phones and she sent me a tik tok of of cats that was cute. i immediately felt a rush of hope.
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#70
Jan 06, 2024, 07:28 PM
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Investing your energy into a dead marriage is a waste and you should be concentrating on finding a place to live. Get on the lists, yes, but look on Craigslist for people renting out a room.
I had a period in life where I lived in a "rooming house" and it wasn't bad. People stay out of your business, I had a lock on my door in one so I didn't have to worry about my stuff, and in the other house I didn't have a lock but the people whose house I was living in were absolutely trustworthy, as was I. You can also look for a roommate situation. |
| eskielover
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#71
Jan 06, 2024, 09:14 PM
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Staying married because you can’t afford your own place is a wrong reason for staying married. Look for the room as several of us suggested.
In the future I beg you to refrain from accumulating such high number of pets, or any pets. In absence of stability and lacking family or friends, who can help in crisis, it’s not a responsible decision. |
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#72
Jan 06, 2024, 10:54 PM
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i think you mis read we have 3 cats and i only want 1 of them even though i love all 3
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#73
Jan 07, 2024, 01:16 AM
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Better figure out your living situation before ever getting even one of the cats. Some places don't allow pets especially if renting a room. You need to not limit your possibilities on your living situation. That is your highest priority at this point, not whether you want one of the cats
__________________
Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
| divine1966
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#74
Jan 07, 2024, 02:49 AM
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#75
Jan 08, 2024, 04:44 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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