Hiw can I get my stubborn & cheap husband to listen to me?

@Have Hope Divine has explained many times the scope of disability vocational services. And no, in general it would be very odd to expect that such services be limited to those who receive SSDI. For one, SSDI is very hard to get in terms of medical qualification. For another, SSDI, the I in it, is insurance and is generally available to those who have paid into the system by working a minimum of 40 periods which equals 10 years albeit not consecutively. You are essentially saying that vocational disability services are available only to those who have already worked a minimum of 10 years. It is an absurd proposition.

ADA mandates a variety of disability services on campus, too, and they do not depend at all on the receipt of SSDI and have much laxer criteria. Don't you know that?

I am surprised you nonchalantly question the advice that Divine has been continuously providing while you know that she works for vocational disability services and knows what she is talking about. But maybe you have not read countless posts on Jesyka's threads.

What you are saying, for jesyka to gain financial independence from her husband, is wistful thinking. Again, have you read those countless posts that paint the complete picture?

I’ll contact them soon. I’m still sick so I put things off because of that.

I didn’t think that you or anyone else expected me to react to your advice right away!

I do appreciate Divines help. From niw on, if my post annoy you that much, then just don’t respond to them.

I’ll do things on my own time no matter what.

I was not aware of all if this. I don’t know much about disability other than it’s difficult to get on.

I heard that most people are denied the first time. I was reluctant to try as I thought it’d be a waste of time.

I misunderstood what I needed to qualify for it. Don’t assume that I know these things.

I wasn’t aware that Divine is an expert in this field. I have a bad memory so don’t expect me to remember everything.

Especially from weeks or months ago. My memory is very bad, so please give me a break.

I forget most things that I don’t write down. I think my short term memory is damaged.

I’ll write this down now, look into disability. I’m sure it’ll be another dead end though. I’d have to jump through countless hoops & probably still get denied. Most people do. It takes about a year & a second attempt to get on it I heard. Ugh!

I’ll look into this & the vocational training soon. As I said before, I wasn’t aware that I was expected to look into things immediately.

I’m still sick, so I’ll wait until I get better to look into these things.

If my procrastination annoys you this much, then just stop responding to my posts please.

I just responded to Divine. I DID call that place & I was right, it was a waste of my time!

I was told that I needed to be referred to the San Andreas clinic & that I’d need to have a developmental disability like autism & that I’d need to have been diagnosed with autism or some other condition.

I knew that would be a waste of time.

I’m crying & about to effin give up all hope!!!!

I keep annoying people who don’t understand how hard I try to help myself!

I’m just seen as someone who does ‘nothing’ which isn’t true. I obviously got a job recently that didn’t work out. I worked when I was coughing a lot too. I put uo with abusive coworkers & supervisors too for weeks before quitting.

How is that NOT doing anything?

I don’t understand that as I have obviously worked hard to find a place to get free & low cost help & niw this!

I’m sure that I’ll get rejected for disability too.

Most places can’t or don’t want to help me. I obviously don’t qualify for any help at all.

I couldn’t even get a referral from that place to other places that could help me.

Thanks for the info. It occurred in 2010.

Thanks for the info. What’s their number again?

OK, thanks. Thise links might be useless as I just called this place & they said they couldn’t help me. M

Locations - Social Vocational Service

I was told that I needed to be referred to the San Andreas clinic & that I’d need to have a developmental disability like autism & that I’d need to have been diagnosed with autism or some other condition.

I knew that would be a waste of time.

I’m crying & about to effin give up all hope!!!!

I keep annoying people who don’t understand how hard I try to help myself!

I’m just seen as someone who does ‘nothing’ which isn’t true. I obviously got a job recently that didn’t work out. I worked when I was coughing a lot too. I put up with abusive coworkers & supervisors too for weeks before quitting.

How is that NOT doing anything?

I don’t understand that as I have obviously worked hard to find a place to get free & low cost help & now this!

I’m sure that I’ll get rejected for disability too.

Most places can’t or don’t want to help me. I obviously don’t qualify for any help at all.

I couldn’t even get a referral from that place to other places that could help me.

Then it has already been twice the length of time sufficient to have it expunged from the record.

Divine posted about Vocational disability services months ago. It was new information for me and I remember that. You were not working at the time when Divine posted. She posted multiple times. Why did you not react to her advice back then and why are you now suddenly accusing us of expecting to react to advice "right away"??

Yes, I am considering not responding to or reading your posts, but then you won't get a lot of helpful information you have been getting from me, including on this thread–just now, you have learned from me that you could have long had your DUI expunged from your criminal record. I told you where to open a free checking account, which cities pay higher minimal wages, which fast food chain pays the best wage with benefits, etc. I have given you information about the San Jose lawyer who specializes in disability except you cannot use his help because you have not accumulated enough work credits. In some, albeit not all, of these individual occurrences, you thanked me, but now you are forgetting all this, acting unappreciatively and sending me away.

I think you will have to put up with the fact that your procrastination and regurgitation of same issues (such as in the title of this thread–you know you cannot change your husband so why ask?) annoys me at times and yet for some reason I keep coming to your threads and being helpful to you.

For your information I don’t read that member’s posts. You’re coming across completely rude towards me as well. There is no need to cop an attitude. I know very little about disability because I’ve worked my whole life and do not have mental illness. That’s why I asked the question. Please change your tone. It’s very rude and condescending.

If you do not know anything about disability, no need to make assumptions based on your lack of knowledge. The way you phrased it was not like asking a question but like making an unfounded and clearly erroneous assumption. That is why I reacted. While you know very little about disability, Divine works in the system and provides expert advice and has been doing so, patiently and gently, for months. There was no need for you to question that expert advice coming from a vantage point of no knowledge, as you have just admitted.

We have been discussing these things here, on various threads opened by @jesyka, for a very long time, ad nauseam. @jesyka is one of the most frequent posters on this subforum. I do not know how you have managed to miss that fact. Trying to help her without knowing the backstory, as you did by suggesting that she gain financial independence from her husband, as if that were trivial, goes nowhere but gives you the feeling that you provide empathy and support. That feeling won't pay for the plumber to come and fix the drain.

@jesyka here, this program will help you expunge your DUI record for free:

The Record Clearance Team
Justice Studies Department, SJSU
expunge@sjsu.edu (RCP email)
sjsu.edu/expunge

Wow. I don’t need your condescension or your judgments. I have read her threads for your information.

Thank you for a good explanation Tart.

Just to clarify (and it’s not your fault, I simply prefer to be rather private to avoid degrading comments that I sometimes receive in regards to my career) that I do not directly work for vocational services but I work in conjunction with them as referring people to them and monitor etc I meet with them regularly. Next meeting with vocational rehab services I have this upcoming Wednesday. I know what they do and what they don’t do. Working with them is in my job description.

In addition my own husband used their service before and he has never been on a disability a day of his life but he simply has a disability. And no he doesn’t have autism. It’s not required. He has OCD and Tourette’s, it’s considered a disability in my state

.

I think some people are confused about term “disability”. Having disability just means one has a disability, it doesn’t mean one doesn’t work. Being ON disability is entirely different thing.

Social vocational services aren’t going to help you because they are for intellectual and development disabilities and if you don’t have those then no of course they won’t help. You don’t even have to call them. It says that on their title page. Now you suspected several times that you have either autism or learning disability. Maybe some testing would be helpful.

What I sent you the info about wasn’t about social services. It was vocational rehab
https://www.dor.ca.gov/Home/VocationalRehabilitation

You could have any disability: physical, neurological, eye sight etc etc Call them.

Jeskya I do hope you can find a place that will help you

Just wanted to post my support for you

Agree, techically I have disabilities (learning disabilities), but am not getting any help for it

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